The Prize Of Fame

Its late in the afternoon, I just got home from a nearby comp. cafe where I've spent my whole boring day... Its so damn frustrating to have a 10 days off from your work and yet... you've got no one to hang out with... coz everybody have their holiday duties.

So... I'm in front of the computer... again! A while ago, I was surfing the net when I came across to this profile of an actor. Yup! an actor. I don't know him personally but he is a friend of my friend (they know each other personally coz they came from the same school back during highschool.) - so how are we connected? - (we're second degree friends!) hehehe!!! - well, he is a friend of my friend! - right?!

So to my boredom, I log into friendster.com and checked out the profile of my friend's friend - the actor. And to my surprise, I've found several links. Yes, some of his fans used his name for friendster profile. So what I did, I clicked on the profile who's picture is as ordinary as a "not an actor". And amazingly I arrived to the real person I'm lookin' for.

I saw his pictures with his friends and his on and off showbiz girlfriend - (rumored that they're no longer on!) but hey! I just saw their latest pic - kissing! not to mention - on the profile of the real man. But how did I know he's the real actor? - because I checked out his friends and I saw my friend there - that's the conclusion after all.

So the cliche is true! That celebrities are just human... too. From that profile, I saw the inner life of that actor. And I can't help believing what I just saw. That this cutie TV personality is just a simple man with a simple life outside the world of local "Hollywood" industry. I admire him before because he is a good young actor and not to mention a real cutie. But I admire him more now for showing me the simplicity of his real life which no one knows except... those people close to him - and I'm lucky to have a connection!

Its the prize of fame as what they say. But if you have your own inner life, you'll never be a slave of your environment. That's something everybody should have... the INNER LIFE!...

INTERNSHIP BLUES : PART 7 (The 10 Days Break)

Everybody @ the FEU Hospital envied my 10 days break. But ofcourse!... imagine... no 26 hrs. duties, no regular duties, no night duties for 10 days. So what's the impact to me?... capital B-O-R-I-N-G!!!...
I miss my work, I miss my "me" as a Medical Technologist. I miss dealing with patients, I miss the wardings, forwardings, the specimen processings... name it!... I miss the yucky smell of stools, the messy routine procedures of urinalysis, I miss the color of the blood...RED!!!
I miss my co-interns, I miss our staffs... who else??? I miss... Uh! um!... everybody! The hospital /laboratory is my life now, it is where I belong now.
4 days to go and I'll be back on track again. My 10 days break will be over and I'm excited to be back... to be back on my "NORMAL" being again.
Now I've realized that vacation is not that all fun... just try to walk on with my shoes, its like this... you've got a 10 days break but your colleagues were not as lucky (should I say that?) as you are, because they have their holiday duties. So you've got no one to hang out with and you just spend all your time surfing the net, blogging, checking your friendster and updating your webpage. You're infront of the computer for about 10 hours everyday... in other words... its boring!!! my computer is my bestfriend @ this moment.
But anyways, as what I've said... 4 days to go and I'll be back on track! Yepee!!!

The Thing Called Love

*** Love Is Not Blind - it was never blind, because when people around you cannot appreciate your loved one, and if they think that you're a fool because you're loving someone who they think don't deserve your love... smile and tell them "LOVE IS NOT BLIND"... because love can still see beauty out of imperfections, while those who don't know love can only see the flaws of other people. Now tell me, who is blind? The one who can see beauty inspite of all the flaws or those who can only see imperfections?
*** Love is a noble act of self-giving. The more you love, the more you lose a part of you, yet, you do not become less of what you are. You just end up being complete.
*** Real beauty can only be revealed by LOVE.
*** Do you know what does the sky and man have in common?
- the eyes...
- there's a night and day for the sky, and a mind and heart for a man.
- the night has bilions of eyes (the stars)... the day has only one (the sun)
- how come day is brighter than night?
- the mind has billions of eyes (the knowledge)... the heart has only one (the love)
- how come man can give up everything just to have one?
*** Love is the most beautiful thing earth inherited from heaven.

Confessions Of A Liar

"Love ... is a fact... but as for now, its a fiction!"
An Interview With A Liar

Hi! I'm a liar... a self-confessed liar. Why d'you look confused? Is it because I'm being honest? I'm a liar... honestly I'm a liar. What about you? Aren't you like me? I believe, I can see it, you're also a liar.
Enough about my lies for a while, I'm here to confess something. Something I've never said before, something I denied for so long. And now, the time has come for me to take off my mask and reveal the real face of a liar.
You think I'm happy? I always laugh, I always wear the sweetest smile, but... d'you think I'm happy? D'you know that there's a hole within me? An empty space that's cadging for someone to fill it up?
Let's talk about something I hate to talk about, but I would love to have. Something that everybody wants to talk about. Something that everyone can't live without. Something worthy to talk about.
Love - I've heard a lot of definitions of it, and my ears had enough. I've read a lot of stories about it, and my eyes had enough of it. Still I can't define it with my own words. I want to feel it but I'm not so sure if I'm ready for it. I confess I've never been into any romantic relationships. Name it... flings, affairs, serious relationships... never had any of them. But hey! I'm not a geek! I've got my personal reasons why I never engage myself into such relationships. But since this is about my confessions, I'll let you in to my little secret... I'll tell you my reasons why. First, I promised God that I will never commit into any romantic relationships until I finish college. Second, I'm really scared to get hurt. I've read a lot of novels, seen a lot of movies, and yes! they are heart-whelming stories that I often wish they're for real, but then, I've heard a lot of true stories and its so sad that I often wish they're not for real.
I always say "I'm fine", always believe that I'm ok, always portray that I'm fulfilled, but no one knows the emptiness inside of me. I crave for love, yes, but I don't want to hurry myself for it. Sometimes when I feel so cold, I often make myself believe that love is just a fiction, a fairytale. There's no such thing as Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose, Dawson and Joey, there's no such thing as " A Walk To Remember " - they're all just feel-good stories that can make you feel good for a while, but then, reality bites, chews, and swallows... it will eat and grind and digest you... and it simply HURTS!
But then I know God has a master plan for you and me. Time will come for love to find me. So is love a fiction or a fact?... it is a ... FACT. I believe in it because it is a FACT, it has always been a FACT... but until then ...it will remain JUST A FICTION.

Reality Bites...And It Also Chews And Swallows!

Philippines... the pearl of the orient, is now facing a deep crisis. Financial stability seemed to get worse everyday, and the people suffer too much from it. This is REALITY... IT BITES... IT CHEWS... and IT SWALLOWS!!!
But there are somethings in our culture that made me still proud of being a Filipino inspite of all the crisis that keep on grinding our nation... here's my story...
After a tiring duty from the hospital, we (my friends) decided to watch a movie. After that, we decided to go home right away. So we ride into a FX ( a passenger taxi with 10 passengers capacity). We're at the middle sit and we talked about the movie we just saw on our way home. Suddenly a man sat next to me. Then I felt there something touched my hips... and to my surprise... that damn man's hand was on my hips, so I shouted at him while he hurriedly went out of the FX. Then the driver asked me what did that man do to me, I told him that he touched my hips. So the driver got a (sort of a baseball bat) and he followed the man. (I don't know exactly what happened next) then the driver came back and asked me if I'm alright... I said "YES... I'm fine now... Thanks!" Then the driver told me that that man was actually a foreigner... NOT a Filipino.
The reality is that, such things really happen to you, to me, to everyone else! Reality had just bite me... chewed and swallowed me into the real world full of sinful and lustful men. But then, God never forsake His people, He used other people to help you, me, and everyone else. That's where our culture (Filipinos) is counted as one. We always help others even though they are a complete stranger in our sight. The driver, was a stranger... I am a stranger to him too... but still, he is willing to take the risk ( by following that foreign maniac) of getting into trouble.
God Bless That Driver...
Vengeance is not mine (Damn Maniac!) ... its God's!

INTERNSHIP BLUES:PART 6 (The Saga Continues)

So here it goes, like a new place but definitely old. I'm missing everything from my first internship, but I have to move forward, I have to open up my doors. A new tale had just begun... but its just a part of the book I'm portraying, writting... this is my LIFE"S SAGA. Enter the new chapter, learn from it... again!!!

Adrenalin Rush

Date Written: October 20, 2005

I'm here @ the hospital, but this time, I'm not a Med-Tech, my mom is here too, but this time, she's the patient. As the nurse rush my mom in the operating room. Different kind of rush embraced my heart, I saw the bright lights all over the halls, so much of the lights and its blinding me like a little girl left all alone in her dark room imagining monsters right beside her in bed. Fear is rushing all over my nerves, I wanted to cry but my tears were frosted by the coldness of my inner soul.
Dear God, You hold everything, knows everything, and cares for everything. I'm entrusting you everything. Life has always been good to me, cause I may feel persecuted but you never forsake me, I may be troubled but not distressed, perplexed but not dispair, cast down but not destroyed. THANK YOU. Amen.

INTERNSHIP BLUES:PART 5 (The Graduation)

During the last week of September...
Monday... was the day I would like to call "the day", because we did everything we've planned to do. Me and my friends went to Kamay-Kainan, an eat-all-you-can restaurant, and we ate there until we can't breath, we had a lot of fun eating there. After the nice and fun meal, we went straight to SM west and played a lot of different games at the arcade (I like the firing - its nice to hold a riffle and feel its power as you shoot the target!) its really nice! After those games, we rent a mini KTV room and had a party in there. Life really rocks! Let's get wrecked!
Tuesday... was an ordinary duty-day for everybody, but not for us, coz we're busy preparing for the graduation.
Wednesday... was another tiring day.
Then came the special day for us, the graduation day... and @ the same time my grand-24 hours-duty. It was my last day and night at United Doctors Medical Center Laboratory ( as a Med-Tech intern). The graduation was full of emotions. But the most unexpected moment that happened to me was when our Assistant Chief Med-tech announced my name as one of their MPIs (Most Proficient Intern) - I really did not expect that.
After the ceremony, the fun continues at he laboratory. My co-interns stayed @ the laboratory, we had a small shots of liquor for the celebration and it all end up well-emotional especially for me.
The things I will cherish in my stay there @ UDMC are the fun and jolly moments with my co-interns which are my friends (cheers dudes!!! for the success of everybody!!!), the things our staffs shared and tought to us, the complements of the doctors, PGIs, and nurses - (one thing I can't forget about them was when I heared them talking about me and said that I'm industrious and very nice - hehehe!!! - "WHAT A COMPLEMENT!!!"), the pressures that the relatives of the patients gave to me everytime I enter their respective rooms to extract blood. The patience, concern, humility, alertness, cheerfulness, and the HEART of a real Med-Tech that those patients that I've interacted with tought me. I'll never and won't dare to forget those life's great lessons and simple pleasures.
So as I hang those frames of memories on the wall of my soul, I'm starting a new beggining again. A new place, new people to interact with, new friends to meet, new lessons to learn, and a bunch of up-coming memories to cherish. As it goes... we can say "ITS THE END BUT A NEW TALE HAD JUST BEGUN".

Message In A Blog:Part 2 (My Paradigm Shift)

Last September 24 was my birthday... I'm already living in this world for 2 decades and a year... yup! I'm 21 years old already.And right now I do really feel that I'm growing old and I'm running out of time to do all the things I wanted and I should do before I started to decay.
I woke up that day and I realized it was raining outside. I was not in the mood yet to get out of my bed, but that was Saturday and I have to go to the church, and besides, its my birthday, I want to give thanks to God for adding another year to my life.So I got myself dressed up and went there.
At the church, we had the breaking of the bread, which, we do not usually do during ordinary Saturday service. So I was a bit happy, inspite of the rainy whether, because I felt that I was special to God (which I know I am) because we had the breaking of the bread on the day of my birthday.
After the worship hour, I went back home to prepare for my night duty at the hospital. I'm not happy anymore because the fact that it was my birthday, yet I don't have enough money anymore (I've spent all my allowance for that week!). So sad! I can't celebrate my birthday, I can't treat my friends, I don't even have a simple gift for myself.
I went to the hospital and started working at 3 pm at that same day. Everyone greeted me a happy birthday, but still, something was missing inside of me that I can't made myself happy. I was just faking a big hollow smile.
So hours passed by, and then it was almost 12 midnight when my friends surprised me with a small birthday party inside the laboratory. Honestly, I was so touched... really, I am!!! I wanted to cry at that very moment but I held back my tears, because they might think I'm too emotional. But if only they know how much I appreciate their simple, wacky, and funny surprise to me. Oh man! I miss them all now!!! (cause destiny held us by the wrist and directed us where to go!!!)
I want to thank them for making my birthday special and memorable. I can't forget that time in my life, and I'll cherish my friends out there forever in my life. I'm lucky to have them, my inner most being is overwhelmed for that wonderful memory they'd left to me... THANK'S DUDES!!!!!!!
The next day (of my birthday), I had a serious talk with my big brother. Its serious because it was about our lives, about what's happening in us. By that time, I've just realized that... hey! I have a great brother. I realized that I'm very lucky for having a brother willing to sacrifice for me.
So what's the PARADIGM SHIFT? Read the Part One and you'll know why. I called this Paradigm shift because right now I can see both sides. I don't see black, I don't see white, what I can see is gray... its TWO SIDES AT A TIME...