Reality Check

Just saw “Blood Diamond” lately and it was a good movie plus to owe the fact that it was a freebie… any better than that? Huh!

Very moving, actually. I end up feeling sorry and at the same time angry with what is happening in our world.


Did God really left this place a long time ago? After all that we’ve done, could He still forgive us?... is Danny Archer right? Oh! well, so much pondering, though.


So much to ponder about that movie. I end up frustrated.


Anyway, last wednesday was my first formal meeting with the consultants and it was damn right eerie to talk without anything to say, actually… so I end up screwing my lines… hahaha!!! But it was alright. I don’t give a damn. Anyway it ended up good... if that is to count the foods on top of the tables after. Hahaha!!!



After the tiring weeks of non-stop work and after-work rehearsals, finally, the show was over and we’ve done a great job bagging the grand prize and applause from the viewers. But again, I mess up during the real act… but it was okay because the show went on just right… and it wouldn’t matter if some would actually criticize us because we understand that that is an act of insecurity… duh! Hahaha!!!


Lastly, I’m hoping to finish all my requirements for my job. I need to break it before the deadline. God help me!!!



So here I am, twisting my hair… a song playing in my head that goes…

I've seen this place a thousand times

I've felt this all before...

I know this face I'm wearing now

I've seen this in my eyes...And though it feels so great, I'm still afraid

I've caught myself smiling alone... blah! blah! blah!


Its time for reality check, though!

Distant Horizons

If everything else falls apart...
Land with me.

Favorite Mistake

It only took one wrong move to make the dominoes fall and landed to where they are right now. I wanted to close my eyes as one piece to another started to move, unbreakable chain of reaction happened right before my very eyes. I was juggling all along and, yes, it took just one, one wrong move to let all the pieces fall apart.



I don't have anyone to blame but myself because I created my own mess and it seemed to be too complicated to be real... but then it is REAL!



I'm not sure how it all started but I guess, there's something in the way I move that led others to start having suspicions and it eventually grew... that is the one thing I did not anticipated to happen and worse... that is one thing I was not able to notice, not until it is too great now to control and worse, it had gone too far to go back.



And so the tale of another two worlds starts with a twist of fate. A story not everybody, I reckon, will understand. Two worlds against time and critics, worse, two worlds against their own world. Trying to lurk the real from within because they both knew the consequence. Trying to act as comfortable as they could but they both know there is something going on and only the two of them could understand that.



They flinch back against each other because time ain't that forgiving. They don't want to step forward because they are both scared that it won't be real... eventually.
So as two worlds revolve, let the falling pieces land where they should be.




P.S.
"When I see how my path seem to end up before your face... it is written in the stars." - Damn! am I suppose to believe that there really is what you call "destiny"? Heck! I'm not a fool!... but maybe I really am.




P.P.S.
This song inspired me today.I'm too damn busy these days with my own struggles in life. Yes, my days are full yet I end up empty.

"People need the Lord... At the end of the broken dreams, He is the open door."



P.P.P.S.
I'm missing the "Versions"... too bad!... worse?... I'm getting used living without it. ='(


A Blessed Week Ahead!

Fate In My Palms

Someone else’s destiny was shaped by my own palms and it is damn eerie to think that I did it.



It is one thing to be the one transforming someone else’s destiny and another thing to think that when everything falls apart, you are the one to blame.



I want to convince myself that I did the right thing, but in a way or another, at the back frame of my mind, it tells me that somehow I’m playing someone else’s fate and it is not quite a funny thought to realize such.



But on the other hand, it is such a heck to be in this kind of situation when in the first place, I’m not even in control with my own fate in life.



Heck! – Right?!



P.S.
How can I fall when you just won’t give me reasons at all… (Version XXOVII)



P.P.S.
Happy Hiring To Me!!! Yey!


Special Thanks to:
Johanna Lara (my first patient)
Catalina C. Hermosura (my first signature)


God Bless Us All!!!
Ciao!!!

Mc Farland Syndrome

I spilled a glass of milk but I did not cry. Its because its not actually mine, but I grieve silently, privately knowing that that milk belongs to that person I would like to think, somehow special, but I guess he really is not special to my own volition, I reckon so, if that is based in mind matters.



But what is the point? It is simply grieving for the lost of others even if they don’t care for you, or worse, they don’t even know you at all. And what is worse than being invisible and at the same time insensible?... or in short… you don’t exist at all.



I’m trying to replace the missing piece but…nothing fits.



What the heck I should do when it is you the Mc Farland?