Ode to the Woman that I am

She is a warrior in a battle unknown.
And she wears her armour with fashion.
She is tired but her heart still beats with burning passion.
And she cries in the stillness of the night to clear her vision.

Her strength is her crown.
Her confidence is her beauty.
And if her smile makes you frown,
Then that is what she calls insecurity.

Step on her and she will still walk with grace.
Talk to her and you will be amazed.
For in every road she leaves a trace
And a beautiful mark in every heart in space.

Minutes to Midnight

I just would like to have a simple post in memory of Mr. Chester Bennington. One of the best rock star I've ever known. He is one of my best influences in life. I will always be indebted to him and his music because it became my sanctuary during the dark times in my life.

R.I.P. Chester Bennington

In the end... There goes the voice of my childhood teenage angst brigade.

Your voice was joy and pain, anger and forgiveness, love and heartache all wrapped up into one. I pray you find peace in the next life.- Chester Bennington

TEKEL : The Great Paradigm Shift

Daniel 5:27 "TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting." - KJV


Here's the thing about beauty. Beauty is pleasing and is designed to charm. But if you exposed yourself too much in it... It will haunt you, in dreams, in every pavement, every corner and every streets, in every breath and every song.
And so beauty becomes a tragedy.

And it happened to me for as long as I can remember my very first word.
I got so mesmerized in the beauty of art and what it has to offer, and so I got blinded with the beauty.
At first, it promised me so many beautiful things... For beauty is what it always offer. For it is the supreme duty to kill everyone with its beauty.
And those promises were so damn beautiful but it remained a promise not turning into reality.
But I kept on asking for more promises...
More beautiful things...
Until that beauty became my sweet poison.
I was so drunk with that potion that I thought I was doing the right thing.
I fought in the name of ART, of beauty and all that it could offer until I am all alone left fighting and struggling.
No one cares to fight for ART anymore; not even ART itself wants to fight for beauty. Everyone got tired until I chose to get tired too.
In my desperate struggle for that long fight, I tossed my sword, take off my armour and walked away alone because no one is there with me anymore. Not even ART.
He left a long time ago.


ART made me happy. I am his lover and a fan. I live my life in every form of ART, but happiness in the name of ART is a struggle to go through each and everyday killing me and all the other beautiful things that surrounds me. So I have to let go.

Sometimes, promises must be broken in order to be fulfilled.

I walked away with that saddest hymn of defeat and impeccable goodbye that I think ART itself wants to hear from me a long time ago... He is waiting for me to let go of him... My lover, my pride, my passion, my beauty... My ART.

No more sweet lullabies.
No more summer of '69.
No more drowning in coffee and lemonade.
No more teenage angst brigade.
No more nostalgia in Brisbane.
No more Novocaine.
No more zephyr in Colorado.
No more making plans for tomorrow.
No more waltz in Tennessee.
No more holding on to the flame for everyone to see.
No more strawberry fields in Liverpool.
No more sitting on a hill like a fool.
No more wonder wall.
No more angels in the marble.
No more sweetest downfall.
No more floating like a cannon ball.
No more Vincent's eyes so blue.
No more songs for an angel that flew.
No more sister golden hair surprise.
No more semi charmed kind of life.
No more empty chair waiting.
No more springtime in February morning.
No more angels flying without wings.
No more four strong winds.
No more last great American.
No more songs for Stephen.
And neither for Adrianne.
No more paper cuts.
No more bright lights.
No more drinking for the youth.
No more Clint Eastwood.
No more good riddance.
No more long ways to run.
No more heart like yours.
No more child warrior.
No more heaven by your side.
No more you and I collide.
No more ironies.
No more love and symphonies.
No more erase and rewinds.
No more morning bells that chime.
No more rhythm of the falling rain.
No more antifreeze and aeroplanes.
No more story of a girl.
No more talk on corners.
No more age of the underdog.
No more long and winding road.
No more asking why does it always rain on me.
No more tea and sympathy.
No more odds that are.
No more tar in that old cigar.
No more leader of the band.
No more Alice in wonderland.
No more tasting saline when I kiss your tears.
No more cold coffee in the morning freeze.
No more hotel California.
No more losing Amelia.
No more Timothy.
No more remedies.
No more hybrid theories.
No more crying like a church on Monday.
No more woods in Norway.
No more musikero.
No more piano concerto.
No more hanging by a moment.
No more broken sonnet.
No more city of angels.
No more circles and triangles.


I know I missed a lot of you out there... Sorry, I can't write all of your songs here but they are all locked inside my heart.

I salute all those artists that cultivated me and touched my life. Growing and learning with all of you is one thing I know I will carry with me when I die.

I've built you a sepulchre in my heart.


Now, I have to leave and just hope that we'll meet again along the way.

Because....

I think paradigm shift is a must in some point of our lives.

I believe that those who cannot change their minds are in the verge of not using it.

So I changed my mind.

And my heart came next to it.

So help me God not to want when I have to tip the balances.

All in Jesus name.
Amen.

The Art of Commerce

"Yes, I understand that film making is a business and we all need to make money. But at the same time, not all business. As an art form, films are reflection of our culture and our soul as a nation. In my opinion, we must first protect our souls before we attend to our pockets. " - Ricky Lee


Upon hearing on the news about the controversy of MMFF and the immediate resignation of some of its members in the committee, my heart was seeped again with that arrow of rage because, again, I felt the need of ART to be respected. MMFF is supposed to give the audience not just MINDLESS entertainment but ART. And in the past years, I see no art in the circulation but only money. And it breaks my heart like a lover because I am a lover of art. I respect artistry so much that I hate to see it being pushed away.
While others would say, MMFF has to offer mindless entertainment in the name of business and profit, I believe that let those people who wanted to buy junks feed their minds with junks but don't give them the credits.
What I'm trying to say is, MMFF is an award giving committee that must acknowledge art in movies. Let alone those movies with no art top the box office, that's already their prize. But MMFF should give the awards to those films that are made of art. Because art deserves it.
Let alone those blockbuster movies have the money because that's the only thing they deserve, the money... But not the respect that only those with pure art could have.
I suggest that MMFF should be mindful about their entries and awards and to whom it is given to.

I find it hard to understand myself, why on earth do we have to fight for our rights to watch high quality art-full movies. That's why people nowadays only work for money and art is becoming the job of what they "call" the IMPRACTICAL and ILLOGICAL PEOPLE. But I tell you, we maybe few with this kind of mindset regarding art... BUT WE ARE FAR MORE LOGICAL, RATIONAL AND WISE IN OUR OWN CRAFT BECAUSE WE HAVE ART IN WHAT WE DO. WE DO IT WITH PASSION AND NOT FOR MONEY. AND THAT IS PRACTICALLY FAR MORE IMPORTANT IN LIFE THAN MONEY COULD DO.

I don't want to expect that people will understand art.
I don't want to expect.
I did not expect.
But I am still disappointed.

So...
I fight for ART.
I will continue to fight in the name of ART.