The Frail Faith Of The Faithful






“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”
-The Shawshank Redemption-


I've been through worse, and I can prove that. And being there, I've learned how to praise God in spite of my rage and angst against Him. I'd realized long ago that the best way to worship God is to praise Him in your most darkest and angriest moment because in spite of your human emotions the goodness of the heart still prevails.


A thanksgiving prayer is beautiful, a mourning heart prays sincerely, but the prayer of an angry heart is the most fervent because it goes beyond the will but still manage to make it. It is surpassing a very tempting test. The temptation not to pray and to praise God because of anger is hard to overcome... and so I say it is the most fervent prayer if you had overcome that temptation. That is the frail faith of the faithful.


The frail faith of the faithful still believes that in spite the unwilling prayer, God still hears.


Trust is believing what you can see but faith is believing something you'd never seen. Faith is hoping in spite of hopelessness, it is believing beyond doubts, it doesn't seek for signs nor for miracles, nor for reasons to believe because faith hopes that the impossible will become possible... good thing... in God, everything is POSSIBLE.

BeAuTiFuL NiGhTmArE





It was the last Friday of the month of august. I woke up late so I was in a rush going to work. It was almost six in the morning, I was wearing my two-inched high heels and I was walking very fast that I didn't noticed the bump on the road. I almost slipped but I managed to balance myself, and so I thought I should have wore my scrub suit and my sneakers instead when suddenly I heard a tiny voice that said - “ Ineng... madadapa ka pa!”. I turned to the voice and saw an old woman sitting at the corner of the street. I got scared and so I walked even faster. At that time my mind was a mess. I was thinking about my judgment day which was fast coming. I only had 48 hours left to get ready for that day but just the thought of it made me shiver.



I was expecting that my judgment day will happen on the first day of the week but it happened 3 days later.


So if I said before that I'd vomit the green thing in the middle of the street with all those eyes staring at me and that I wanted then to disappear or it was I that I wanted to become invisible, well, double that humiliation, and that was my judgment day.


All I know was that, at that very moment I just wanted to shrink, that I was wishing for a magic wand that will make me disappear in front of everybody... but that magic did not happen. I was left there facing the entire humiliation while my mind was reiterating the phrase that God won't give me something that I can't bear... but then, that was true enough... I made it somehow.


If the part one was cruel enough... the the part two was extremely morbid. But of course, even in movies it is like that, so expect that life would be like that too.

So if I said before that humiliation is just for a moment and soon enough you'll be laughing at it... yeah right! Look who's laughing now.


Two down... more to go!

Never under estimate your opponent.


But I know I can face it all because of God.


They say that happiness is not always about sunshine... sometimes it is about dancing in the rain...


So I say, I'll dance in the storm, let the thunder be my music and the lightning be my spotlight. And when the strong wind carry me into a place full of monsters, its OK... I don't care... YOU will be my beautiful nightmare.