Do U Read Planetareans (Part 3)

I waited long enough... so long that even eternity did not endure it, so long that even time lose its patience. but now I understand why... why it took the waiting so long and still...

I don't want to blame you... though it is a fact that everything is your fault. But the funny thing here is that... it seems to me that you and God has a common goal for me... and I don't have the guts and the reason to get mad to God... and so that includes you...
So I have to wait still... because you said so... Because God said so.


I thought this is the Finale of this series... but I was wrong....

Of Dirt, Clay And The Master

The year was started with a prayer and of toasts for different wishes for the year while the air was filled with smoke and the odor of burning firecrackers. Outside the edifice we're in, we could vividly hear the staffs, the crews, the doctors and other employees laughing and shouting while the echo of their voices mingled homogeneously with the loud bangs and booms. After the ceremonial toasts of punch, we went outside to watch the fireworks as well. Everyone was wearing their smiles like a clown who never knew the meaning of sadness and in that masterfully directed scenery, I felt succumbed to wear my own sweetest smile in this act of crafted play in the stage of life.
Now, almost in the mid of January, while the early rain of the year pours down, hearing its tics and tacs on the tin roof, I reminisce the last year on how and what made it so different and frustrating from the other years of my life.
My last year's only wish... or should I say, my most prayed wish did not came true. And though last year paid me lots of blessings I did not even asked for to counterpart that wish that still remained a wish (until now), I still feel frustrated.
Coupling my frustration was the feeling of uselessness. The feeling of being there but just there. Like I was merely existing and doing routine works but could never really live and could never touch others' lives.
So much about my frustrated life and wretched spirit, I suddenly remember the invitation I received a couple of weeks ago from a long lost friend. It was her birthday. And since I'd never seen her for the last couple of years, I felt obliged to come on her birthday party last week.
The party became a sort of a reunion since some of our old friends back in college was there as well. And as the party approached its final hour, my friend said her thank yous and appreciation to all. And lastly, the unexpected happened. Just before she finally dropped the microphone, she called my name and thanked me for giving her one of the most precious gift she ever received in her life... that is for influencing her to read the bible EVERYDAY. She told to everyone that I was the one who thought her the importance of reading the bible and eventually knowing Christ more.
That same night (I remember), I felt so tired but I can't sleep because the echo of her voice was dancing inside my head and the beat of it made me realize that I had a worth.
I realized that, unconsciously, we are touching other people's lives and not until the unexpected time of event that they will let us know what we never know we did, we will come to realize that simple and unnoticed things could change others in the most extraordinary way.
The sky is finally calm as I see a few rays of the sun forcing its light to shine behind the still thick clouds of the midday. I still feel a bit frustrated, though.
Once again, in my life, I'm in the state of making plans but not knowing how to start them and make them real and tangible. I'm in the state of helplessness, hopelessness and feeling awry. Afraid that my dreams will turn into nightmare even before I wake up... worse... if I never wake up.
But in the end of it all, though life is so complicated... it is still beautiful, and I will still say with my deepest sincerity – Le' gra go Deo.