This morning, an old familiar song was played on the radio and a line from it made me thinking throughout the day...
"Best things in life are free"... I don't believe it.
Best things in life are NOT free, they have their own prices... worse, they worth more than money.
Money is cheap... it cannot buy you happiness, love, peace, family, not even success.
But these best things in life like happiness, love, family, peace, and success... they have their tagged price... before you could have any of those so called "BEST THINGS" have you ever thought about what you have gone thru before having them? Your sacrifices? Your tears? Your Pains?... now tell me... are they really free? Think about it...
Best things in life are NOT free... they are just too expensive that even money cannot buy them.
Soon I'll be wrapping my year again. And summing it all up... I'm afraid I don't get even a half of what you call fulfillment. The whole year has been a total routine of shattered plans and failed dreams that I routinely hide behind my smiles and laughs everyday.
My life has been walled with protection, but these walls has been destroyed and shattered into ashes many times – countless! And as countless as it has been, countless times I tried my best to rebuild it again and again. But every time I'm just about to start, it is again destroyed, badly tortured and pulverized without mercy. It is like the universe is conspiring and they are taking away everything even the only hope I've got.
I'm tired... and I swear, I could just rest in peace now.
Tell me to hope that the sun could actually shine at night. Tell me to hope that I could really see a rainbow in the dark night sky... but how? When even a shooting star could not make itself fall for me... how could a wish come true?
So I tried my best to look for the lesson lurking behind this scene that I'm in. Perhaps God designed my walls to shatter so that I could fall... so that I could learn the art of falling... because if I don't fall... how could I ever reach the ground where the broken pieces of my walls landed? If I don't fall, I will never reach the ground... how could I possibly pick up those bricks that once used to be the building blocks of my walls? I'm afraid of falling but I'm learning to love it.
Perhaps, God designed my walls to shatter because He wants me to live without protection because God wants me to realize that He is the only protection that I really needed in life. That in life... safety does not mean the absence of danger but the presence of God. I guess I won't be needing those walls anymore.
Perhaps, God designed my walls to shatter because He wants me to learn something so beautiful yet so difficult as well... that is to hope in spite of hopelessness... to hope in spite the fact that even my very own instincts tells me not to. To fight my own will or even God's will though I know I am fighting a matchless fighter. To fight even though I know from the start that I am already doomed. To hope that things might change. To hope... that is.
This is the end of truce...
The birth of oblivion...
The dawn...
