Monday, August 18, 2008

The Nebula


Life in my eyes is all about stories. Stories told, stories that had happened once upon a time, stories to be told, stories about to happen, stories that could have happened but never was and will never will.



Life in my eyes is a billion reflections of different stories meant to become one story.



Life touched by a story could become bitter then sweet, then tasteless. It is like the taste of mint on your tongue, you don’t really know what it tastes like. It is cool but irritatingly hot, it is sweet but a little spicy- minty… right? But you’re loving it, and for all you know it’s taste is gone… and your tongue becomes tasteless.



Life is a story behind a dedication – a bitter yet sincerely, profoundly meaningless means. A dedication – it is your reason, your window into beauty… on why there is what you call “beauty”. It is like an echo, it is not the genuine sound but just the continuous strings of intangible beginning of the genuine sound.



Life is an echo of felicity that disappears in a great chasm of poignancy, an occasional burst of laughter that could be plotted above a graph of an interminable wail of misery, like a terrible giggle in the midst of your horrible forced march to death in hell. It is a single skip of bliss.



If I had a story to tell about once upon a time on earth, is a story of a nebula.



A nebula – it is a cloud of gas, blurry, gloomy, but it is where stars are born. Sometimes, the gas in the nebula is remnants of a supernova.



A supernova – it is a star that dies and fades away for a reason. It leaves the sky empty in a particularly spectacular way of falling to make someone else’s wish come true. But the truth behind a wish coming true is another story of a violent fashion of emptiness.



Each of us is a nebula.



Once upon a time on earth, there was a girl and she had a supernova. But her supernova, for a certain reason fell out from her sky to make someone else’s wish come true. The one side of the story was sweet and happy because it was a wish coming true from a falling star. But the other side, the side of that girl who lived once upon a time on earth was another story, a sad, tragic story of a sky being emptied for eternity. A sky empty for that was once a space occupied by a supernova, but now it’s gone… forever.



So the remnants of the supernova became a cloud of gas. Blurry, ugly, gloomy and full of poignancy… it became a nebula. But as the cliché goes… a tale to end is another tale to begin.




Then there was a nebula where another star is born… and hoping to become the next supernova.



Your story….
It is easy to find…
Because it is the only one like it.



The End. ☺

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Echo Of Your Breath


Was it a dream though I’m not asleep?
The melodious thunder so to speak
And I swear, the feeling was so wonderful indeed
When I heard my name from the echo of your breath.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Eternal Sunshine
What if there is no forgetting and there is no remembrance either… just the moment as it is?


I don’t know exactly what to feel about the movie (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). I wanted to get mad about the “why’s” but the madness did not stay that long… it never last that long because the reason is enough not to stay angry about it.



I don’t know exactly where we would be without our memories. I mean, memories are strong, so strong that it could make time still while the earth continues to rotate. Memories are stronger than changes, it is as strong as love and as infinite as time. Where would we be without it?



It is the architect of our being, the art of our emotions, the source of the “why” we smile, cry and get angry. It was once our life, it was once our present, it was before even before our future.. to relive it is not to live with the past but to be able to face the present and to be able to deal with the future. And I could barely imagine the poignant realization of taking it away from you. It is like you were not been born at all, you just suddenly existed as you are, no past… no memories… no beginnings.


But who are we without our past? And even if we have… how will we know it without our memory?



My heart was moved at the part (of the movie) when Joel and Clementine was at the beach, it was night and they both know that when the morning comes, their memories about each other will all be gone, then Clementine asked Joel – “So what will we do now?” then Joel paused for a while and said – “enjoy the moment.”


The way he said it was so damn frustrating, it was like… he knows it will be gone forever and he wanted it so much to seize but he knows that it is inevitable, like all the forces of nature and the universe conspired together to take it all away.


Then I ponder for a moment and asked sincerely… why do beautiful things end so soon and more painful than that… sometimes it ends even before it starts to happen.


Will there be an eternal sunshine if you have a spotless mind?

Monday, August 04, 2008

beautiful crap


The idle moments of the day. It is when I just lay my back on my bed and my poetic mind wander around on every sketches of your face and all I could write about are just adjectives about an angel.


The sun shines and sets on your face and the picture is the portrait of a thousand sunsets… like the million rays of the sun that sums up the light of the day.


Each night I wish upon a star, and then there you are… my shooting star. You are supposed to make my wish come true but I don’t want you to fall because if you fall, you will leave my sky empty forever. But then, if you fall… please land in my arms safely.



The poetic distance, the yonder dreams kept me awake, but just a glimpse of your face makes me want to fall asleep and never again wake up.



It is the reality that bites us then swallows us up until we are finely digested inside the monster’s belly. But if you’re asking me why am I still betting my last penny? … well, it is like in the lottery where in you have lost everything you have in your pocket but still you bet again even the very last penny for your fare home… no! It’s not because of money… but it’s because of HOPE… that tiny sledge of adrenaline that crosses your veins just right before you check the winning numbers. That is HOPE. That tiny speck of hope that you are grasping that MAYBE this time you will win.


It is not bad… but neither it is good.



So here I go again… the supreme epitome of an optimist who believes that the world is so beautiful and really believes in it up to last minute it is proven a crap. Then smiles disappointedly and says it is for the best cause there is a reason.


So how optimistic is that?


How universal is the water? Those 2 atoms of hydrogen and 1 molecule of oxygen sums up the universal solvent. But the ultimate riddle is… “waters cannot quench it and neither flood can drown it.”