A Mighty Sword For A Coward Warrior

I've changed my mind... because of your inconsistency. Aside from that, I've realized that, in silence, I admire the tinge of noise. And in noise... the silence grows deeper and deeper beneath the core of my soul that longs to scream in the serenity of the night. I was disappointed... I mean, really disappointed a while ago because I thought the "bigbreak" was there, but I was wrong. Again my frustration for that position is desperately crying and embracing my individuality that longs for that momentous event in my life that I believe, can change the whole script into a better play. So am still hoping that one day soon, I'll be there doing what am wanting to do. No! am not buying for the prestige nor the honor for my name, what I want is the work... the service... patriotic as it may seem! The flame of passion to write never gone cold in me... and those pens and papers whom I've grown up with are still my closest friends... and yes, my old guitar who knows my very humble passion in the art of literature and music... they know me more than anyone. 

The Da Bc Code

"A" knows "B",
And "C knows "A".
"A" likes "B",
And "C" likes "A".
"A" is connected to "B" because they have the same beliefs,
"C" is connected to "A" because they have the same perspectives.
"A", "B", and "C" have one thing in common... their sword!
"A" hates hypocrites,
"B" hates the Pharisees
"C" hates both!
"A" is a frustrated ICE (anagram)
"B" just became an ICE (anagram)
And "C" is about to be the ICE (anagram)
"A" is waiting,
"B" is in search,
And "C" is playing his foolish games.
... So there comes "D"...
So "A" let "D" decides...
Knowing that "D" always decides right!
Thanks to "D"!!!

The Alibi

A second thought is actually an alibi...
Its a space for doubt...
Huh! PARANOIDS!!!
Am one of you!!!
But am working on it!!!
One day I'll learn the art of believing... something before it will actually happen before my eyes...
Huh! Am just making it real!!!

The Versus

"I'm standing on a bridge,

I'm waiting in the dark,

I thought that you'd be here by now...

Is there anyone trying to find me?"

---- Avril Lavigne ----

(I'm With You)

I have waited for you very patiently... God knows I did!

And am still... until now.

But how long?...

Eternity?...

But nothing last forever... as the cliche' goes!

YOU see, HE is guarding the next move of the play we're all in...

YOU have to play your part now... on the script.

Am afraid so, that one day my heart will fall back and give way to my brain... or is it the other way around?... that one day my brain will give way to my heart... either way... got no final decisions yet!

Too ironic!...

YOU haven't gone far... you're still there at the beginning while HE is already halfway here.

But YOU have a ride... HE is walking.

Life's irony... whoever comes first... regardless to what is meant and what is real!

Ambiguity... everywhere!!!

"Oh God! give me wisdom to know the truth!... Amen."

The Yellow Light

"You know it only breaks my heart,

To see you standing in the dark,

Alone, you're waiting there for me,

To come back,

I'm too afraid to show."

---- Jennifer Paige ----

(Stranded)

I've kept my promise... the contract is over. Thanks for helping me keep it.

Its not that am being impatient, but I believe, I have waited too long... but if its your way of teaching me the art of perseverance... then let it be done as you will.

Am missing you... badly! I miss our togetherness, the way we hang around anywhere and fool around like we're morons... haha!!! I miss the way you tease me and likewise, I miss the way I tease you. I miss your laugh and your voice. I simply miss you.

We seldom see each other now, and its sad to realize that in times that we're together, I feel you're already a different man. There's something missing in the chains that holds our closeness. I feel sorry for the evolvement of the things... which we can't control.

Am giving you pure friendship... am doing it so... but they said, you want something deeper than the friendship am giving. Its not that I don't want it the way you wanted it, but am not sure if I could. I'm pressured... confused about what I feel. But still, I don't want it in "just" "hear and say" protocol. Its not that I don't believe them, cause I know there's something going on, I can see and feel it by the way you stare and by the way you move... and I trust my woman's instinct. But please... don't let me be the last to know... I still need to hear it (for formality sake).

The traffic light shines out its yellow light... you know what it means - you have to wait for the green light to shine. And when the yellow light gives way for the green light... you know what to do - go! (for it).

You see, am not giving you the red light sign, but still, am not ready for the green light to shine either. The traffic light says - "Yellow".

P.S. No strings attached.

P.P.S. If you cut the strings, throw them, DON'T keep them... I don't want to see threads in you closet.

The Pearl Of One's Shell

" They are not life Tristan.

They are shells of life.

Love is made by God.

Ignore it and you suffer as you cannot imagine."

----From The Movie : Tristan And Isolde---

Just recently, we watched the movie "Tristan And Isolde" . Its a typical old-fashioned heroic martyrdom epic; a tragic love story of fate of two people separated by feudalism of two kingdoms where they belong. Until such destiny brought them together and fell in love with each other. And then, that same twist of destiny separated them from each other's arms and still the same fate brought them together until the grave's cold wrath ended the story leaving the heroine (Isolde) alone with a humble pride of loyalty to the man she (only) loved.

The story is typical but the flow is complicated. It's chaotic cascade of treason and hidden agendas turned the whole story upside-down. But in the end, the hero (Tristan) was redeemed. He did not defend himself but the truth did it for him. Same as truth in our own very lives that even though the truth is being twisted into lies nowadays, still, the truth will redeem the innocents.

What strucked me most in the movie was when Isolde was explaining to Tristan the essence and difference of life and love. That integrity, pride, honor, and such high position makes life, but life is only like a shell in the sea, and without a pearl, then this shell is empty.

This pearl in one's shell is the love. You may have a pretty good life with all those material things and tangible prestige and honor, but without love, you are empty. You may be a big, grand, and beautiful shell, but without the pearl, you are empty.

Some qoutes to ponder from the movie "Tristan And Isolde":

Tristan: You were right. Life is greater than death. And love is greater than either.

********

Isolde: [reading] I wonder by my troth, what thou and I Did, till we loved? were we not wean'd till then? But suck'd on country pleasures, childishly? Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den? 'Twas so ; but this, all pleasures fancies be ; If ever any beauty I did see, Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee. And now good-morrow to our waking souls, Which watch not one another out of fear ; For love all love of other sights controls, And makes one little room an everywhere. Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone ; Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown ; Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one. My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, And true plain hearts do in the faces rest; Where can we find two better hemispheres Without sharp north, without declining west? Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally; If our two loves be one, or thou and I Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die.

********

Tristan: Our love will be forever remembered as brought down a kingdom. Remember us.

********

Isolde: [on a drawing of a couple on the Roman Bridge] What do you think became of them?

Tristan: They were lives... just lived.

********

Isolde: Love is as strong as death. Why be capable of feelings if we're not to have them? Why long for things if they're not meant to be ours?

Tristan: There are other things to live for; duty, honor.

Isolde: They are not life Tristan. They are shells of life. Love is made by God. Ignore it and you suffer as you cannot imagine.

Tristan: Then I will no longer live without it.

********

Isolde: Tristan, we both know this can't be, we've known it from the start. That doesn't mean it isn't true, it is, it just cannot be. I want to know that you're alive somewhere thinking of me from time to time. I want to know that there's more to this life and I can't know that if they kill you. Please! Go.

********

Tristan: Your marriage will end a hundred years of bloodshed.

Isolde: [crying] My marriage to *another* man!

********

Lord Marke: Did I love him like a son? Or did I misuse him for my own purposes?

********

Lord Marke: [to Tristan] Is it possible a man might not see treachery right in front of him?

********

Isolde: How many have you loved before me?

Tristan: None.

Isolde: And after me?

Tristan: None.

What Is Your Blood Type?

Know your personality through your blood type...
From a Medical Book released in the year 1967...
Note: YOU ARE NOT OBLIGE TO BELIEVE... but somehow... there are statistics that proved it...
Are you:
Type O - Has a nice teeth
Type A - Emotional
Type B - Has a criminal tendency
Type AB - Has a sensitive skin
*
*
*
*
Haha!!! I'm type "O"... Nice Teeth!!! True enough, though!!!
Chao!!!

Illuminatus In The New World Order

"Illuminatus" means "enlightened one". A lot of people must have heard about it. The Illuminati game in our computers, the books depicting things about the Illuminati organization history ago. We are familiar about their dedication in Science which is pretty antagonist to the church dogma.We have read about their skeptism and how they set aside the theology to formulate and give way to their own theory.
In ancient times, the earth, wind, fire, and water symbolizes the ultimate theorem of the Illuminati. The theory that set aside the ancient theology. Atheism as to what others call it.
But if their name "Illuminati" depicts "enlightened"... am convinced that the light that sparked right in front of their eyes only blinded them. The light that they thought a spark to outshine the darkness is the same light that lead them to a much darker world.
Science is a word which means "study", and to study is to gain knowledge. But knowledge is a gift... a gift from God. So science is a gift from God, how could it be antagonistic?
Science is actually the tangible knowledge of God... therefore its from God.
Am not trying to syncronize things, because I don't have to... because they are all but one.
The air, the first element, a universal matter. Like God, we don't see it, but we can feel it, we know it exist, and it is a fact that it exist... just like God... we can never deny His existence.
The water, the universal solvent. Like God, He is the supreme solvent, the supreme solution in all chemical aliqout. Its structure is complicated just like the mystery of heaven and the omnipotence of God. But complicated as it may seem, the water is still water and its function is still universal... the same with God, complicated yet simply universal... nothing more to prove.
The earth, round, no side, no point of beginning and end... just like God, His presence is round, no sides, no points, no beginning, no end... infinity it is!
The fire, the light, the warmth. The same as God, the true light that can overcome the darkness of one's soul. The warmth, the comforter when life is cold and tiresome.
The real Illuminatus (enlightened one) is the one who can understand the connection and the oneness of what other people think as two different worlds.
It is but one.
Illuminati still lives... there are still Illuminati living in our world today... in a new world order where half of the people living cannot comprehend the oneness of theology and theory, those who still fail to recognize the truth and the lies... these are the quest of the real Illuminati (those who are enlightened by the Holy Spirit of God), to enlighten those who are still in the dark and those who think they are enligtened but they've got the pseudolight.
Dare to become an Illuminatus... in God's light.
Dare to become a member of Illuminati... of the living God.
God Bless Everyone!!!

Because Of YOU

I've just came back from a long (week) vacation... back to the usual routine... just as I thought everything is going well, I was wrong!
At this very moment I'm brokenhearted...
I suddenly found myself in a saga of seeking "HER" the lucky girl as I always thought! I hope she's really lucky... and I hope "YOU" are also lucky for having "HER" Again BEST WISHES TO BOTH OF YOU IN ADVANCE!!!... yeah! that's pretty far still! I know! just conditioning my brain and heart for the early good!!!
I think YOU really like HER... though!
YOU said SHE is your SOMEBODY... wow! that made me shiver to the bone!
And now am brokenhearted...
I want to hate YOU but I don't feel it...
I DON'T WANT TO HATE "HER"... and I don't feel it either... good for "HER" and me.
I wonder why I feel the pain when in fact I should be immunized with this kind of situation... one sided... always my side without the other side... after all these times... am still not used of this the same old situation... I still feel the pain... sometimes I just wish I'm numb just to get away from the hurting...
But still... right now am brokenhearted.
Anyways, Have A Blessed Week Ahead!!!
May God Give Me The Strength To Overcome This Pain!

Ode To You

"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up... To more than I can be."

----Josh Groban----

(You Raise Me Up)

Dear Papa and Mama,
Greetings in the name of the Lord!!!
First and foremost, my sincerest profound gratitude within my being is dedicated to both of you for being such the most incredibly positive influence in almost every aspect of my life, the pillar of support, the foundation of love, the bedrock of my ambition, the ladder for the pedestal, and my cradle beyond the hostile world.
Papa, I may not be too showy to show you how much I really appreciate you, but I do. Eversince I was a kid, I have seen your strength, determination, principles in life, and your responsibility. You have been a fighter and still you are until now. I have seen your struggles and I know the pain that you’ve been through. Thank you for keeping your promise ( your promise that you will do everything for me to finish my studies). You know that I’ve been through a lot of ditches on my way during my college years, thank you for molding me to be like you… a strong person… enough to face the challenges in this game called life. You have always been my childhood superhero, and even though I’ve grown up through all these years, am still that little girl within my heart, looking up and saluting to my father… my hero.
Mommy, I’ve known you for your emotions. That emotions you always show to us made me realize your vulnerability as a woman… but thank you… because of that I thought once you fragility, I’ve learned the art of compassion. Am sensible… sensitive to the feelings and needs of others because you thought me so. But above all these wonderful emotions I’ve learned from you, am thankful and feel so blessed because you are a woman of great faith in God. I don’t know where would I be right now if you never introduced me to Jesus. Thank you for that most exquisite gift in the world you gave me… that is introducing God to me. Its not the essence of religion but the sense of security. My faith that you molded within me keeps me going on and it makes me feel secure. That faith keeps me through night and day, that faith that even though am all alone in a hostile environment, makes me feel safe and sound. Am secure because God and I are in good vibes… and its all because of you, mommy. Thank you for your guidance, you will always be my favorite teacher, the one who thought me about the life outside the world am in… the world within my soul with God. Thank you for your faith.
I will always be greatful to the Big Guy up above for the both of ye. I couldn’t ask for better parents… I’ve got the best.
My graduation is for the both of you!!!
Labyah!!!
From,

Dess

ThE ExOdUs Of GeNeSiS

"You can say my friend that its the end
Or a new tale has begun."
--- We Are One ---
Steve Mac/Wayne Hector

If there's a beginning... there's an end... there's a new beginning... that is the continuation. So if Genesis is the beginning... Exodus is the continuation... Revelation is still yet to come... the end is still beyond a lot of chapters.
I've been through a lot of beginnings and ends. Finally, I could firmly say that life is truly a series of goodbyes... but it is true enough that it is also up to us to view each episodes as we are... on whether its the end or a new tale has begun.
A lot of times I've felt this way, as if I can never move on from the scenario of letting go... but I did, I have moved on already from my past farewells, so I know I can move on again and again. But its true that the feeling of leaving is hard but it is harder to leave the feelings. The things you've always depend on is the one you're leaving now... sounds familiar?... it is!... we all are... have to leave what is meant to be left.
Something at the back of my mind tells me how wonderful everything is... and my heart and my soul agree. It is wonderful to be alive... after all the tough years of college. After all the pain and torture within your soul, after all the brokeness and poignancy from the deepest core of your individuality... you have found yourself still shining like a precious gem on a dirty floor, like a diamond on a dusty street... you're still alive and still breathing the air that fills your nostrils... it is indeed a wonderful feeling of contentment... but still you have to ask for more. You have to be contented but not satisfied... because you still have a lot of things to learn in this game called life.
This is a new beginning of my book...
After my Genesis... here comes my Exodus.

The Pessimistic Side Of The Optimist

It is the hope that blinds you to reality.
The hope of the hopeless.
The wrong perception that you will make up for all that you lack.
The false hope that keeps you going but you don't know where exactly to go.
The hope that embryonated within your heart that eats up your vision to a sad reality.
Yeah, its blinding! That hope is blinding!
Its like a light that blinds you... yes, its a light, but that light you once knew is the one that leads you into total darkness...
Pessimistic side of your optimism...
Ironically true.