rock of ages (part two: the rocky road)

Last night I dreamed about you, and it made me realize that I may not be missing you but I can't deny that I'm loving you. All these years I keep on pretending that all I wanted was to be your friend but then I must admit I'm a coward.

Now all that is left are just regrets and what ifs, I wonder how I'm coping with this.

Your absence made me realize that love is more than just being together.

I'm too filthy to be with you, I feel like I don't deserve to be with you and I'm hating the man who made me filthy and not worthy of your love.

It could have been me and you if only I've waited a little longer for both of us to compose ourselves, if only I didn't let myself get filthy by the hands of some other man. A regret that can never be changed.

I love you... my heart is screaming my love for you.

I'm sorry I was the first one who put a distance.
I'm sorry I chose the wrong one.
I'm sorry I didn't chose you... but if you only knew that each minute I spent with him I was wishing its you. I didn't chose you because I love you so much I can't afford to hurt you... when loving comes with pain, I can't afford to be that pain.
Sometimes I wonder maybe the reason why I end up all alone is because I didn't really loved him, because it was always you. It is you I'm in love with.

My rock and my fortress...
If only you could love me again like before everything becomes filthy.
Shower me with your love and I'll be whole again, I'll be clean again.

wisdom of a fool

I don't understand why all of a sudden I had regrets and they are many...
I was scared to fall I might not get up again... and now.. am I right all along...
And suddenly you popped up like the boy in that song that she remembers but not the feeling... weird I remember the feelings as well though not tangible.

And was I too smart not to commit mistakes not realizing that mistakes will make me wiser... and now I'm making them a bit too late.