rock of ages

The greater part of /is unknown

I might lose a diamond by collecting stones but you are my rock and my fortress... a diamond could never rock my world like you do.
I'm scared to fall asleep for you might not love me anymore when I wake up tomorrow.
Was it my fault that we were never together, was I too friendly that it made you think that we can never be more than friends? Or was it you who never had the courage, who was so scared of saying what you really feel? Or maybe I was the coward one too cause I never said a word either. Either way this is now the life that we are living... forever in the past... that I hope not.
And it so funny that it all falls back and goes back to you... like a destiny I cannot ran away from.
But the sad part of the story is that the past is so filthy... so filthy that I'm not even sure if you still want to hold it... and neither me is sure... but I still wanted to try... even if it means dipping my fingers into the mud.

So sleep now my rock and my fortress and don't you worry for tomorrow I still love you and the only thing that will change is the depth of my love for it will grow deeper each day you wake up... and until the day that you will no longer wake up... I'll still love you at the other side of your sleep. I love you.

I don't understand why all of a sudden I had regrets and they are many...
I was scared to fall I might not get up again... and now.. am I right all along...
And suddenly you popped up like the boy in that song that she remembers but not the feeling... weird I remember the feelings as well though not tangible.

And was I too smart not to commit mistakes not realizing that mistakes will make me wiser... and now I'm making them a bit too late.

father time

Way back 2006, i was a fresh graduate and about to take the national board exams for medical scientist/technologist when i dreamt i was talking to a man, an old man, A very old man with long gray hair and beard. He gave me a little book, like a size of an ordinary pocket book, its old like him but the letters, symbols and formulas written inside the book was clear. The front cover has a picture of a blue sky with white clouds and a ray of light but instead of the sun it was an hour glass that's striking the rays. Before i woke up that day he told me that that book contained all the secret formulas to be successful in life, i asked him who he was. I was hoping he would say he was god but he told me "i am nostradamus".



Time passed so quickly after i passed the board exams that year. Lots of jobs were offered. I earned a lot of money, wasted a lot of time, wasted a lot of my health.



After 5 years, i haven't forgot that dream but i ignored it until i dreamt of it again one cold night of july back 2011.



I was in a shuttle with that book in my hands and i gave it to a girl sitting next to me wearing a white uniform and was on her way somewhere to take the nursing board exams.




Fast forward today...

Today i'm reading through ebook from my tab a book by mitch albom... one of my fave authors.
The book's title is "the time keeper" and somehow i can't help but think that somehow that old man in my dream isn't nostradamus but "father time" himself. With that hourglass picture on his book, Somehow maybe he really is making himself known only in dreams.

beautiful faith

If only ears could see...
Then we'll realize that what we hear is different from what really happened.

faith to the unknown

Last year, i fell from heaven and landed in hell...
I nearly lost everything...
Lately did i come to realize, God wants me to march in hell to meet the coasts of heaven.

Now, gradually and dramatically, God is giving me back everything that i've lost... and even more than that... even greater than that...

Truly, God never leaves us empty handed. If He takes away something from us its because He wants us to open our palms to receive something better, something greater.

Indeed, God knows what we want before we knew it ourselves.
He gives us what we need even before we would actually need it.

Its been a good life...
And if its good...
Its worth sharing.
Thus, i am.

Have a blessed weekend everyone.

Patience is a virtue...
But if you are patient...
You are sick...

Then call the doctor very quick.

Garden

“If God is water then grace is an ocean, then the church is not a museum for good people but a hospital for the broken ones.”
“Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with Christ.”

So I went to church today. I was late. I sat where I used to sit almost every Saturday, and then suddenly I felt old.
How long it has been since when?
I remember the old faces, the young ones who had grown old and the old ones who are no longer there.
Then the speaker stood in front… my surprise! She was that little girl who used to sit at the front row with her parents and siblings. Time passed by so quickly as they say and now she was our speaker.
The way she look, speak, stand and walk reminded me of myself 8 years ago.
Yes, I was her. The pretty face, the promising career, the good daughter, the independent lady. The one on top of her world. I remember the feeling but it was not as tangible as it was before.

Then my life suddenly flashed back in front of me. How I started good, how promising my life was, how great my future was.
But my future then is what I’m living now and it was not exactly the way I planned nor imagined it to be.
Did God throw a shit on me that made my life of garden a dumping pit? Or did I shit in my own garden?
It was quite a life – really.
And until now I still do not know where this road will take me.
All I know is that I want my garden back.
Oh God please help me.
You gave me a beautiful past,
Now give me a brighter future.
I know You are there for me, hence, take my hand and lead me for Your plans are better than mine. You have the best ideas for my life.
Make me again a living testimony of your greatness and faithfulness.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

COMments

Can't help but comment everytime people say "love" is priceless...

Because it has a price... too bad its called PAIN.

overflowed

Math was invented for us to learn how to
Count our blessings...

Maybe the reason why I'm not good in math
Because of the bountiful blessings of God to me

I can't count them...
They are countless...
Overflowing

hmm...

Not all chances are worth grabbing for.
Some are worth ignoring to be left behind for pondering ...

of gratitudes and generosity

Dear God,

They say that when you are generous you will be blest.
Now I know why You are so rich...
Because you are so generous giving us everything we need
And so is our heart's desires.

Thank You.
Amen.

ponders and wanders... wonders

If you believe in love at first sight... you'll never stop looking for strangers.

How could we love someone we don't even know?

So the cure for love at first sight is to have a second look.

You missed it once... you'll miss it again.

chasing freedom

If the chase was better than the catch... we let go.