bright lights, matches, and 20 bucks

I got a hole in me now.
I got a scar I can talk about... but I can't talk right now.
Cause some things in this world, man!... they don't make sense.
There are some things you can't leave until they leave you and all you have to do is miss them.

Saving 10

They say I have high tolerance in pain... they say I am strong... I don't know, I'm not sure if that is true because I have my own reasons.

I remember when I was in pain, I was rushed to the emergency room and the doctor asked me in a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, tell me how painful it is?
I answered 5, that was to my calculation. Another doctor checked me again, asked me again, and still I answered 5.
Then they told me you should be fainting now, you should be saying 7 or even 10.
I just smiled.

I didn't say 10 because I know that life has a lot of more painful things to give me than that pain I was feeling then.

That was way back 10 years ago... "the fault in our stars" was not even written yet.

But John Green is right, I was saving my 10, even my 7, 8 and 9.

I was saving my 10 for other things to come.

And some people think I'm immature for my age just because I always wear the brightest smile... I don't give a damn. They don't know what kind of shit I'm going through in my life.

And to you who's reading this post... next time you see me joking around... think again... just because I'm always smiling doesn't mean I never cry.

half and half but neither is whole

Promises... promises... promises.

The ugly truth about promises is that it tears you apart.

Because when someone made a promise to you, he puts you in between hope and despair. A part of you hopes for that promise, but the other half of you is just waiting for that promise to be broken... either way you are torn apart every moment.

So if jokes are half meant... then promises are half lies,
So then neither is whole,
So maybe promises are just jokes.

amidst

For I am troubled on every side yet not in distressed, perplexed but not in despair.
Persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but never destroyed.

7:30

When your legs don't work like they used to before and I can't sweep you off of your feet."

I was eating at McDonald's after my morning jog awhile ago, the morning sun is on rise and the perfect golden rays were seeping through the glass window making a prism on my table. As I was there eating my muffin, I saw one employee of the building sweeping the pavement. I watched him move sideways as he glides the mop and a thought came to my mind... that maybe love is like sweeping the pavement. Some might say "why do you have to keep on sweeping the pavement when it is impeccable and inevitable that eventually it will get dirty again." It's like - why do you have to brush your teeth when later on you will eat again...

I guess that is love... it is impeccable and inevitable that eventually we will get hurt but still we need to love again. It is not a foolish thing to do but it is a must, an important part of our living. If nobody cleans the pavement, then one day we would not be able to pass that way again. If we don't brush our teeth, then eventually we will suffer because they'll fall and then we can on longer chew and thus we can no longer eat the food we love.

Love is important part of our lives, and if we don't love , then eventually we will suffer as well. We will forget the meaning of happiness and compromise and kindness. And when all that is left is hatred, tell me, is it worth the living?

So I guess that is one nice lesson that could sweep off our feet.

Have a nice day!

pad me

It is an act of wisdom when you are full of pride but you know when to humble yourself. And when you humble yourself, it is the time that you really shine because you know that bending is not a weakness but actually a wise act that separates your body from your mind, your body bows down but your mind has a bigger plan.

share it

Sometimes when something so wonderful happened, you can't help but share it. This is rare that I got to post something not really mine... but this is worth sharing so...

This is from an anonymous person I just happen to bump with.

"In your lifetime, you will find and meet one person who will love you more than anybody you have ever known and will know. They will love you with every bit of their energy and soul. They will sacrifice, surrender, and will give so much that it scares you. Someday you will know who that is... sometimes or most of the time people realize WHO IT WAS. "

astra

Open window
Cold air
No traffic
Just green and fair.
I look up in the sky
I didn't ask the heavens for a star to fall
Cause my heart knows
If you fall for me then I have it all.

No music
Just my heartbeat
Dark night
Underneath the moonlit
I look up in the sky
I didn't ask the heavens for a star to fall
Cause my heart knows
If you fall for me then I have it all.

I did not ask the heavens for a falling star
I'm not a sky I cannot hold it
I did not ask the heavens for a falling star
My heart knows what it beats

I look up in the sky
I didn't ask the heavens for a star to fall
Cause my heart knows
If you fall for me
Then I have it all.

Bright lights
Big city
Cold sights
Called pretty.

reliving

History repeats itself because those who did not learn from the past are condemn to repeat it.

73

When all you have is your pride... guess what... you could actually eat it when you're hungry.