In the midst of everything, i'm surviving. And though i am hurting, so much for this unbearable pain, my gratitude is greater

Can two walk together unless they agreed? (Amos 3:3)
Charity never faileth, but whether there'll be prophesies they shall fail.
Whether there'll be tongues they shall ceased.
Whether there'll be knowledge it shall vanish away.
1Cor. 13

The only person who can hurt you is the one you love. And when the hurting comes, the best place to hide is in silence or in a smile. Its december and its cold, but gts not what the season is giving me. Its like winter but never christmas.

verse

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.

Remember The Walk You Had

First question that greeted me this morning was "What movie changed your life?"

Then my mind popped the lists of all my favorite movies that I graded A, movies that I could just watch over and over again and never get tired of ...

But then all goes back to one...

The movie that thought me how to remember and not to forget as it was writen in its title - remember... the walk you had.

CAPACITY + ABILITY = CAPABILITY

Your most valuable weapon is the capacity of your heart to contain all the secrets, even the darkest one that cuts your soul. For in time of pain it will strike your enemy that even the very person you care the most will not win over you. So I say, contain everything in your heart, every tear and cut. Silence is much louder than the clanging cymbal.

And, yes, I know your filthy hands. But I will keep my silence.

So I dare you not to hurt me, cause I know all your ways, YOU ARE NO LABYRINTH TO ME!


P.S.

YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW MY CAPABILITY.

The Hero

I was 9 years old when I learned the not-so-easy truth that when you want something, only you could give it to yourself, and no one else could.

Too young for such truth, but yes, at my young age I became my own hero.

Its frustrating to yearn for someone to save you when only you could save yourself. No one else in this world could be more brave enough than yourself. You have to be strong for yourself, brave for yourself, beautiful for yourself. Strength comes from beauty because it mask the flaws.

And now, though I still yearn for someone to save me, I remained the captain of my ship, I remained my own hero in my own way.

Old And Wise

An ordinary day's lone activity... write a letter to your 10 year-old self...


Dear Me,
A decade, so how it has been so far? got your guitar last year and now what? I say, yet another year.
If you would ask me what you should do now because of course I'm too way ahead of you, well, simply... you should have the guts... the guts to fight for what you really wanted to do. Look at me now, late 20's half to the goal of becoming a doctor but will never be anymore. uhmmm, a frustrated artist, an art that has never seen and will never be, the beauty that will never have a name. A scary writer, pure soul in a dark cell, no one will ever hear.

Though I never really have regrets of what I've become, cause the sicker you get the wiser you become, and when you're dead, you're the smartest. But it would be nicer if you could be whatever you really wanted to be.

Falling in love, I know you're far smarter than your age, that even before Taylor Swift realized that love is more than just dating the hot guy on the league you knew it by now, kudos! You're smarter than anybody else cause you really got it by hands with a firm grip and no, you will never lose it. But happiness is not about being too careful, it is about learning and learning is about making mistakes. Yes, it is alright to commit mistakes when you will be fifteen. But learning is not just about making mistakes, cause I tell you, there are a whole lot of mistakes in the world and if you want to commit them all just to learn, then nothing will be right in your life and when you're old you'll realize that you've spent too much in commiting them and now you're too old to do what is right. So here it is, yes, it is alright to commit mistakes but learn from other's mistakes as well so that it would not be necessary for you to make the same mistakes.

Pain, there will come a time when pain will really hit you right off bat and it will hurt like a belly flop... worse actually. You will think that you will lose your head and as if you will die in each and every second, but always remember that God will not give you something that you cannot bear, so if He gave it to you, well that means He knew that you can handle it, and if God has faith in you, who are you to doubt yourself?

Bad people, there are lots of them and one day someday you will meet someone that will have the guts to hurt you. One day someday someone will cheat at you but remember, when relationship fails because he cheated, its not your fault. It is his choice. It is not your sin, it is he commiting a sin. And when the time comes you find out about it, never back out, leave him because I'm pretty much sure... actually I am very sure that there is someone out there who will love you right and will never have the guts to cheat and hurt you, and if you will not listen to me and you will continue to stay with that cheating man, then you are wasting your precious time being with the wrong man when in fact you could have been with that right man now so don't waste yet another day because spending a minute with the wrong man is a minute waste of being not with the right one.

Happiness, you should know that when the time comes that you will have to choose between what is right and your happiness, choose what is right. Because happiness is fleeting, and when all the happy moments are gone all what is left of you will be guilt and that would be a very sad thing. But if you choose what is right, well, you might shed a tear about it but when everything is said and done, you will sleep safe and sound knowing that you did what is right and yes, happiness is something we pursue, so pursue happiness in the right way.

Worth the wait... this is something that you will only appreciate when it comes. There will be moments that you will cry for waiting too long enough like it has been forever, but it will come to you . I swear. And when it is there you will just smile with that perfect bliss inside your heart as your mind and soul rejoice with your heart and you will sigh and say "IT WORTH THE WAIT". He will come, the man that will love you and will stay with you for the rest of your life, the man that you would wanted to build your family with, the man that you would wanted to spend all the sunsets and all the sunrises of your life. The man that you would wish have came sooner before you've been hurt, but that is the thrill, he will come when you've learned that he is the one and when that time comes... NEVER and never let him go. Love him with all your heart and with all your strength because he worth it. And yes, he will come when you will be at my age right now.

Life, live it like there is no tomorrow and like there is always tomorrow. Live it like as if it is your last but live it as if you will never die. The difference between a wise and a fool is that both of them are brave but the wise knows his limits.

Stay happy because that is what God wants you to be. Heaven is a place here on earth. You can build heaven anywhere you are. And yes, before I forget, heaven is the place where you are wrapped in his arms and each and every breath of love you will thank God and you know that someday there will be a story to be told to your grandchildren about someone who WORTH THE WAIT.



your older self,
YOU (me)

Old Mc Guts

What will you do if you have to go to Old Mc Donald's farm...

but the bridge over troubled water is the london bridge and its falling down, falling down, and you still have to save Baa Baa the black sheep because the master, the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane need its wool and you don't have a boat to row gently down the stream?





ANSWER: Who says you need to cross the troubled water to reach old Mc Donald's farm anyway?





LESSON: There's always a way, hard way, easy way, my way, your way, one way, all the way... but the good news is there is always a way.

└IMited EdiTiOn

  YOU are one beautiful creation Surpassing one's imagination All that I thought was just a fiction Became so real, a tangible illusion. YOU are such a beautiful creation Epitome of God's perfect invention Angel's human inspiration Embraced by man's standard vision. YOU are the beautiful creation My plethoric euphoria, my priceless possession My sweetest blessing withstanding the oblivion A gift from God, one limited edition.

Random Post

not everyone who knows Jesus believes Jesus... and not everyone who has clean hands has clean nails as well 

Stat Wars : Rise Of Parentin Hellwalker

Goodbye Master Obi Wan... I promise I will never join the Sith... unless they make me their new lord... =)

Well, what could I say, you are my Master Obi Wan Kenobi... Master Yoda has long been gone and left me with a lot of resposibilities even as a young padawan before... and now that I'm almost a master Jedi (but still learning the mastery itself)I would like to thank you because you are the one who taught me how to use the lightsaber and how to master it. And now you're leaving me. But it is your own sweet way, who am I to hold you back. Thank you for transforming me from being your padawan to now a master Jedi. Thank you Master.

love much,
Parentin Hellwalker

P.S. Do you love my new screen name? hahaha!!! I have to do it this way because I want to keep it this way. Thank you Master.

EPIcTOME

My God!!!! if that's YOUR opinion I'll let it be even though I don't agree...

still shocked of what i'm seeing in front of my screen...

really?...

I hope YOU'RE not kidding me... is that really your epitome of...? huh!

I'm a bit disgust now. Oh... well toys are toys... and sometimes they become bomb.

I know you're not getting me... so sad for YOU!

Piece of advice?...know your math bec. you're miscalculating someone called ME... and yeah, I could play dumb while thinking of the ways how to catch you and you'll realize how dumb YOU are for believing in my act of play.
I'm a real life actress. ;)
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME!

So much for my grumpy headed morning. =(

When will boys become men?
I could see your flaws... and yes, YOU are not perfect.

Oh! God help me to understand their nature.

My Glass Of Water

If you've been in a desert for quite sometime, will you drown your self in a glass of water?

Its been a drought since I can't remember and it just so happen that a certain circumstance brought me back to writing and I just got two nods from that (i thought would be) a crap. Yeah, it somehow welled up enthusiasm and confidence again and I've been thinking a lot lately if it is the right thing to go back and give up all that I've earned in the past four years of my career.

Ergo, I'm confused... that is why I'm not taking any step forward because the risk is too high and I'm still not sure of what to do.


Still got a lot of pending works, like the launching of my art web and photo gallery as well.

uhhh... so little time so much to do... and yet I'm not even close to the start.


So help me GOD!

Of Bread, Crumbs and Butter

You must know which bread you should butter and what crumbs you should throw.

To: Carcino-embryonic antigen a.k.a. CEA... Its such a shame on you to create a chaos in our world by pretending that your hands are clean. I was so disappointed the moment you declared your innocence by throwing the mud from your hands to ours. Such a shameful act on you to advertise our filthy hands when in fact, those dirt even came from you. You are a coward filthy shit that tries hard to pretend that you are clean... oh! well, is there a clean shit anyway? Soon everybody will smell your putrid scent and by then you will realize that what comes around goes around and what comes up must go down. - then we'll be redeemed.


TO: Garapon... its such a disappointment to realize that you instantly believed that carcino-embryonic antigen without seeking for a second opinion. Piece of advice... know the bread and the crumbs. Not because he initiated a small petty talk about something annoying means its all true... don't you even realize that he is creating a chaos in our world? Wake up - YOU! He is the real liar... what he is confessing is actually the lies... did I ever told you that he was the one who even captured a photograph of you just to have something to gossip? And he is turning the world up side down and you created a wall because of the lies that you've been fed.

And when all is well, a hope that is... one thing to remember...

Don't judge a soul by a lie that was told.

Beautiful Without A Face

Its a strange feeling...

I remember a dream back 9 years ago... I was talking to an old man but I can't see his face... and the only thing that I can remember when I woke up back then, in spite of our very long conversation, was his last words to me...

He said...

"An empty heart is heavier than a full heart"




And the phrase says it all.
Until know, I could still picture that dream, that faceless old man, and his gentle voice like a father talking to his child.

And I still wonder who is that faceless old man.

Unforgotten Beauty

Love is a beautiful thing.
Love could have been perfectly beautiful if its love alone.
But love cannot exist alone, it needs two people and other related stuffs and figures which are hard to figure out.
And so complication begins.

If only love could exist alone...

But love co-exist with pain and lies and bitterness.
With those hurting comes pride and jealousy.
And so love becomes a forgotten beauty.

People are people.

We are different.

And not even love could make us alike.

Love could not stop me from hurting you intentionally, unintentionally, and without knowing.

Love could not stop you from hurting me intentionally, unintentionally, and without knowing either.

Love cannot stop disappointments.

And I'm very disappointed with myself for expecting too much.
Its like I was born in an ideal world where everybody and everything meets my expectations and even go further and beyond. Like everything always comes my way.

Until reality bites and it did not stopped there. It chewed me and then swallowed me up and just when I thought that was it... just when I thought I defined pain itself, reality digested me and it was the worst pain anyone could endure... with its torturing acidic formulation and the way a normal stomach transforms the food into shit - that's it.

The ideal world became a chaotic living round substance.

But love remained the unforgotten beauty.

Like the stars at night...

Night is black
Black is dark
Dark is creepy

but the stars remained beautiful.

So as the love I once knew as the epitome of beauty...

It will always be.

And though pain is hurting,
I'd rather feel it than be numb and never see the beauty again.


Fact is... in a relationship...

The one who loves less is in control of the relationship...
But the one who loves more is happier.

I'd rather be happier.


P.S. I can see your flaws, but YOU remained perfect.

(^v^.)♥°(o,o)°

Much Is True

I can't think of a reason why I love You... but I have one reason why I will never leave You... its because I Love You! ♥♥♥ (^V^)

Penda

when chains becomes freedom... ♥♥♥

Universe (Part 1.25) ♥♥♥

I can't help it... I just can't contain what's in my heart right now... its over flowing, its overwhelming. Its all YOU.

I'm so, so in love with YOU.

I am so Over inspired that I cannot even finish writing this song that I've started... it goes...

- its not my first time to fall, not my first time to fall
but its the first time I landed in love, I've landed in your arms
like the first time we kissed, that kiss so beautiful
then you wrapped me in your arms, bedazzled with your charms

Let the time stand still
cause you know forever i will
stay by your side
love you with all my might

let the time prove to you
forever i will be true
i'll never let go of your hand
even if its a dead end.


eerrrr... my song is so raw but i can't think for the perfect words right now, i can't think of nothing else, no one else but YOU.

okay, i surrender!!!

yeah... I LOVE YOU ♥♥♥

Tribute

Heard that CIA died yesterday. And suddenly I realized how time goes by so fast and that life is indeed fragile and death is inevitable.

Farewell to the VIP days.

Rest In Peace.

Universe

You know they can have their universe
We'll be in the dirt designing stars


So happy to be found... =)

ATTRACTED : ATTACHED

Its not common to me to get attracted to local movie posters, but this one got my eye... nice work Star Cinema. You've got my thumb up for this. I hope its one great story as well just like your other works. As far as I can remember I gave "A Love Story" an A because it really was a great movie, not just good but great.
I'm not in to local films but I'm trying to watch those movies that catches my attention. So I hope I could watch this (crossed-fingers... hope it will fit in my hectic schedule). Recent local movie that got an A for me was "Segunda Mano"... good twist.

I hope the poster is not all that its got... because I'm expecting a lot from these two great artist and so as the film makers of this movie. I know you will not let my expectations down. More great movies to watch from you guys! Kudos!

Puff In Honah Lee No More

A couple of hours left and finally, the dragon will enter... KUNG HEI FAT CHOI!!!


And these lines I hope will leave me as the year ends...

- how can i love when i'm afraid to fall (a thousand years : Christina Perri)
- so scared to fall i might not get up again (much afraid : Jars of Clay)
- a promise or a dare, i would jump if i knew you'd catch me (5 candle sticks : JOC)

hope it will become like these...
- i will be brave, i will not let anything take away what's standing on front of me
- so happy to love yet so far to go, lead me on to where i never been before
- i pray that when the wick is burned you would say that its all about love

and so, i look forward to the dragon with a fire burning in me because i know fire is a form of light and warmth at the same time.

KUNG HEI FAT CHOI!

Green, Green Grass Of Lawn

Let me tell you something about grass.
We often hear people say - "grass is greener on the other side"... I doubt it.

Think again...

Actually, they are just the same grass.

Its just your imagination that tells you that the grass on the other side is greener than yours... well then, yeah, its greener because you don't know how to take a good care of the grass on your lawn.

So if you want to go to the other side because you think that the grass there is greener, let me tell you some facts first, that new grass you're dreaming of is the same as the grass that you have now. That new grass also needs care, and if you don't know how to take a good care of it, it will just wither just like your old grass.

So here is the truth... there is no such thing as the greener side.
It is about how you keep it green and alive...

After all, they are all just the same grasses.


Ya know what grass I'm talking about, right?


Great weekend ahead!!! =)

Deep Thoughts From A Shallow Mind

Why Tuesday must thank Monday...

Everbody hates Mondays... but if there were no Mondays... I bet we'll all hate Tuesdays.
Just a thought.

FiN

Destiny... ohhh!!! how could I forget how that old man described that mysterious word "destiny". From a 78 year old mind, his heart knows it with all the convictions he ever encountered. So why would I not believe him... cause I do believe in you old man, and that doesn't mean I don't believe you young lady.


Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you love.


And for every seasons of life, there is a reason why we need to survive. In the midst of heartaches and so many disappointments and failures, and too much pain... we have to stay alive, move on for one simple reason... we have to know the end of our own story.

Our own life is one great story, believe it or not. So we have to see the ending, we have to know the ending, and in order to be there till the end, we have to stay strong and survive those challenges in our lives.


Be strong because you've got to see the end of your own happy story.

Blessed weekend everyone!!!

SO beaUtifuL (Part 2)

I have lost my illusions
I have drowned in your words
I have left my confusion
to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand





...you keep playing in my mind and everything else dances with you, you are soul beautiful... yeah.. singing it again. =)

SO beaUtifuL

the title says it all... can't get over with your words... your the perfect song with a perfect lyrics... so beautiful.


Whether I'm right or wrong
There's no phrase that hits
Like an ocean needs the sand
Or a dirty old shoe that fits
And if all the world was perfect
I would only ever want to see your scars
You know they can have their universe
We'll be in the dirt designing stars

Whether I'm up or down
There's no crowd to please
I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in it
And if all the world was smiling
I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets
We'll be right here stranded on the ground
Just happy to be found

You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful

Even Jesus Laughed

This message just made me smile... thought of sharing it.

Its NOT funny but somehow it has a lot of sense... I guess for those who have it.

It goes...

"Do you know that JOKES are far better than PROMISES?...
Because JOKES are half meant... while PROMISES are half lies." - R.D.W.



Well, that made me realized that if JOKES are half meant, when you punch a joke twice will that mean its whole?... then you are no longer joking. So if you keep on joking... maybe you're serious after all.

If PROMISES are half lies, then if you made a promise twice, will that mean its all a lie? Because in the first place, you will not make another promise unless you broke the first one... - right?

Deeper thoughts from a shallow brain... ☺

Well_come

Life goes on... so as the year ends, I'll walk away from the past and face the new year full of hopes and aspirations in life.

The past year has been a tough year for me. It started with a memo from my work place, then a month later 2 medical cases were charged against me. Though, somehow I passed them all (thank God!)... another test came again, this time the rain poured on my personal life and it was like a strong typhoon, hurricane everywhere and all I can do was cry. I cried a lot last year, and the tears I cried somehow washed away the pains. And now I look at it as a good riddance. My health was not so good as well, I suffered a lot last year that is why I'm really looking forward for 2012.

But though 2011 was tough, I'm still thankful for: my family who has always been there. My friends who never leave my side especially when I was at my darkest moments. Got my new apartment. Got a lot of new things for my home. Got a new part-time job aside from my full-time job at the hospital. Gained friends and losed the fake ones. Realized the worth of that person (I hope I will never lose you). Gained acquaintances. Down loaded my song of the year. Got my new laptop. Got my Passport. Got wiser. Learned a lot. Faith tested and still holding on. Got God still and always in my life.


So I hope for a better year this year. God grant this to me. Amen.