Doubting Happiness

I don’t know how he do it but he do. I guess, maybe it is because it is imply a movie. A simple movie without too much of that techno class, but I’m adding it in my list of faves. I could only ponder and wonder how will I ever take such overwhelming torture of life… though I could actually see my own reflection in his story. His story in a way or another is also my story, and all I could ever do was to cry at every scene of his life. I could feel exactly the agony and the poignancy as reality bites him in every corner of his life, so I could not help but feel happy too when the sweet ending came along.




At that little part of his life… he called that “happiness’. However, at one part of his life, he doubted happiness. That maybe happiness is something we can only pursue but can never really have no matter what.






This part of my life I call it “Doubting Happiness”. I can no longer dream. All can do is just live what life has to give me without taking any risk to change it. I can no longer dream nor make my dreams come true. Yes, I’m living the life I planned to live, but maybe, that great plan was my plan alone and absolutely not the plan and not the will of God that is why I can’t find happiness out of this planned life I’m living. I’m supposed to be happy but I can’t find any reasons to be. I’m feeding myself with so much inspiring novels, movies, music and stories but nothing fits the holes that occupy my life, my life is an empty hole. Yes, I’m in pursuit of happiness. Thanks Will for making me feel sadder but atleast I’m learning my lessons.






By the way, the best thing that I noticed on that movie was that, Chris Gardner really has a good son, and very understanding too. I mean a very good son and not a delinquent son. And that thing made me realize one great lesson, that is, even though heaven falls and the hell rises up and you are caught in the middle of the earth, God won’t leave you empty handed. He won’t leave you with nothing to lose. You see, Chris Gardner loss his wife, his salary, his car, his money, his home… which most of us would probably think that it is the “everything”. But no, God has left him with one possession… which is actually by far the greatest, his son. And that one thing gave him the will to strive and finally make it. Well, that is one good realization of mine – right?


Now my mind is working again, Hahaha!!!

Memorable quotes forThe Pursuit of Happyness (2006)
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Christopher Gardner: You gotta trust me, all right?

Christopher: I trust you.

Christopher Gardner: 'Cause I'm getting a better job

Christopher Gardner: I met my father for the first time when I was 28 years old. I made up my mind that when I had children, my children were going to know who their father was.

Christopher Gardner: [to his son] You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.

Christopher Gardner: There's no salary?

Jay Twistle: No.

Christopher Gardner: I was not aware of that. My circumstances have changed some.

Christopher Gardner: Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. Christopher Gardner: All right?

Christopher: All right.

Martin Frohm: What would you say if man walked in here with no shirt, and I hired him? What would you say?

Christopher Gardner: He must have had on some really nice pants.

Christopher Gardner: [about the spelling mistakes in the graffiti of a building] It's not "H-A-P-P-Y-N-E-S-S" Happiness is spelled with an "I" instead of a "Y"

Christopher: Oh, okay. Is "Fuck" spelled right?

Christopher Gardner: Um, yes. "Fuck" is spelled right but you shouldn't use that word. Christopher: Why? What's it mean?

Christopher Gardner: It's, um, an adult word used to express anger and, uh, other things. But it's an adult word. It's spelled right, but don't use it.

Christopher Gardner: Probably means there's a good chance. Possibly means we might or we might not.

Christopher: Okay.

Christopher Gardner: So, what does probably mean?

Christopher: It means we have a good chance.

Christopher Gardner: And what does possibly mean?

Christopher: I know what it means! It means we're not going to the game.

Christopher Gardner: And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it.
[repeated line]

Christopher: Where are we going?

Christopher: Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you dummy!"

[last lines] Christopher Gardner: How many planets are there?

Christopher: Um... 7?

Christopher Gardner: Seven? Nine! OK, who's the king of the jungle?

Christopher: The gorilla?

Christopher Gardner: Gorilla? Nope. Lion.

Christopher: Yeah, lion, lion. You wanna hear something funny?

Christopher Gardner: OK.

Christopher: Knock knock.

Christopher Gardner: Who's there?

Christopher: Shelby.

Christopher Gardner: Shelby who?

Christopher: Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!

Christopher Gardner: Hey, that's good.

Christopher: Knock knock.

Christopher Gardner: Who's there?

Christopher: Nobody.

Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?

[Christopher doesn't respond]

Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?

[Christopher still doesn't respond]

Christopher Gardner: A-ha-ha, that's a good one, I like that!

[repeated line] Christopher Gardner: Christopher is staying with me.

Shoe-Spotting Intern: Hey, you're missing a shoe.

Christopher Gardner: Oh, hey, thanks!

Christopher Gardner: [voice-over] This part of my life... this part right here? This part is called "being stupid."

[after he hits Chris] Driver Who Hits Chris: Hey, asshole! Are you all right, asshole?

[about Chris' bone-density scanner] Homeless Guy #1: It's a time machine... I know it's a time machine...

Christopher Gardner: [voice-over] This machine in my lap? It is not a time machine.
[last narration lines]

Christopher Gardner: [voice-over] This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."

Christopher Gardner: This part of my life is called "internship."

Christopher: What are you doing?

Christopher Gardner: Paying a parking ticket.

Christopher: ...But we don't have a car anymore.

Christopher Gardner: Yeah, I know...

[last lines] Christopher: Knock, knock.

Christopher Gardner: Who's there?

Christopher: Nobody.

Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?

[Christopher says nothing]

Christopher Gardner: Christopher, nobody who?

[Christopher says nothing]

Christopher Gardner: [laughs] Okay, that's funny.

Christopher Gardner: Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what.

Reverend Williams: The important thing about that freedom train, is it's got to climb mountains. We ALL have to climb mountains, you know. Mountains that go way up high, and mountains that go deep and low. Yes, we know what those mountains are here at Clive. We sing about them.

If you are a thinker, this movie will challenge your visions of family, business and society. On one hand, the film reinforces the great American myth of the self-made man and equal opportunity. Myths are not necessarily false simply for being myths--we can make some of them true by choice, and our belief in this myth still helps make America great. Free-market capitalism is not the cure to all ills--surely it is the source of many ills--but it does open social doors that nothing else can even budge. On the other hand, if you can leave this movie without a burning indignation that any American child of any race should have to struggle just to have a place to sleep, you must be cynical indeed. This movie doesn't get on a soapbox, not even for a second--it just tells a real-life story that owns you before you know it.I hope a few of us will let our motivations own us for years instead of hours after the movie's over. (A Comment)

A Tale Of Everybody

Everybody has his/her own story coz everybody has his/her own past. We maybe just a tinge of sound between two silence, for before us was silence and after us is another silence. We are just like a single slap on a placid water creating a moment of disturbances and then... hush again... as time flows into eternity.



I found myself lately as a portrait hanging on a wall with eyes wandering on everyone who passes by. I could just sit down at one corner of Mc Donalds and observe the people around me, pondering how different are we from each other. Wondering how did I let my fate run out of time and I was left alone, exhausted but needing to catch up.



I am the exact epitome of a man having his days full but a life so empty.



I found myself living in the past while everybody has moved on with their lives. I found myself still holding on with the tide not wanting to be carried away by the waves to reach the shore. I was left there in the cold but afraid to let go. Unwilling to take that one great risk to be safe.



There is something in my eyes that made my vision go blur... Oh! it is my tears, but they aren't rolling down on my cheeks, they are frozen like ice, maybe because it is too cold inside of me.



I am the exact epitome of a man having his days full but a life so empty.

The Epitome Of Happiness

"Maybe the creators of that movie ( The Pursuit of Happiness ) saw me when I was still applying for a job, coz that is my story. "

---- Our Face----

(An Anagram)

Never, never judge a book until you have read it. It is one thing to read a good story and another thing to be touched and be inspired by the story.

In this world now where time leaves you with so much to catch up with, where people would just create their own imaginary definitions of you, sometimes, it sucks to realize that everything is superficial.

Many will come and talk to you and they will all leave you a lesson, but only few will leave you not just a lesson but also an inspiration to go on with your life inspite the hopelessness that our short-sighted eyes could see.

This man (the topic of this post) is one of the few who gave me the picture of real happiness, a portrait of the brighter side, and the sketch of sunshine after a storm.

People might think that these stories are just fairytales and just feel good novels, and I must admit that I'm one of those bitter people who don't buy such logic, but I would like to testify my paradigm shift... that happiness is real, we just have to learn how to appreciate it.

Way Back On Track

"All I wanna do is find my way back in to..."
----Music And Lyrics----

This movie just gave me a big slap on my head that reminds me to get back on track... anyway, it was such a long time ago since I wrote my last piece. I feel so uninspired to write such things that won't get me anywhere anyway... that is to my reckoning. But that has been my life. I lived my whole life with pens and papers. I guess that is the shadow I could never let go. Though it has been such a long long while since the last time I picked up my guitar and hum with those symphonies on my head and words at the tip of my pen. Life is crazy at the moment and I couldn't find my way to find serenity within. I guess I have to talk to my "old" self... when I was still at peace with myself. Maybe then I could find myself singing again and my soul humming those sweet melodies long been forgotten by my frame of mind. I think its really time for me to get back on writing. Yup!... Back on track.

Brighter Than The Sunshine

Amidst the gloom and that damn down feeling, I still find myself smiling for no reason... and it feels great to be empty yet still smiling.



I mean "empty"... you know that hallow man?

It is worse than carrying the weight of the whole world.




And that is what I call the art of pretending.




So... smile!




Ciao!

ShOw Me ThE MoNeY!

It was a bit frustrating to finally arrived at the bottom of the line just to find out that it was not what you are actually anticipating at all.



But nonetheless, I believe that nothing is coincidence... everything is but a destiny.




I believe that good deeds begets good deeds.

Though it might look bitter in the beginning... there will always be that sweet fair share.

Sweet... that is to count the chocolates... hehehe!!! Thanks dude! You know I love them!


Show me the money...

Nope! I'm no longer desperate though I'm still a bit uninspired...

But I'm working on it, though!

Reality Check

Just saw “Blood Diamond” lately and it was a good movie plus to owe the fact that it was a freebie… any better than that? Huh!

Very moving, actually. I end up feeling sorry and at the same time angry with what is happening in our world.


Did God really left this place a long time ago? After all that we’ve done, could He still forgive us?... is Danny Archer right? Oh! well, so much pondering, though.


So much to ponder about that movie. I end up frustrated.


Anyway, last wednesday was my first formal meeting with the consultants and it was damn right eerie to talk without anything to say, actually… so I end up screwing my lines… hahaha!!! But it was alright. I don’t give a damn. Anyway it ended up good... if that is to count the foods on top of the tables after. Hahaha!!!



After the tiring weeks of non-stop work and after-work rehearsals, finally, the show was over and we’ve done a great job bagging the grand prize and applause from the viewers. But again, I mess up during the real act… but it was okay because the show went on just right… and it wouldn’t matter if some would actually criticize us because we understand that that is an act of insecurity… duh! Hahaha!!!


Lastly, I’m hoping to finish all my requirements for my job. I need to break it before the deadline. God help me!!!



So here I am, twisting my hair… a song playing in my head that goes…

I've seen this place a thousand times

I've felt this all before...

I know this face I'm wearing now

I've seen this in my eyes...And though it feels so great, I'm still afraid

I've caught myself smiling alone... blah! blah! blah!


Its time for reality check, though!

Distant Horizons

If everything else falls apart...
Land with me.

Favorite Mistake

It only took one wrong move to make the dominoes fall and landed to where they are right now. I wanted to close my eyes as one piece to another started to move, unbreakable chain of reaction happened right before my very eyes. I was juggling all along and, yes, it took just one, one wrong move to let all the pieces fall apart.



I don't have anyone to blame but myself because I created my own mess and it seemed to be too complicated to be real... but then it is REAL!



I'm not sure how it all started but I guess, there's something in the way I move that led others to start having suspicions and it eventually grew... that is the one thing I did not anticipated to happen and worse... that is one thing I was not able to notice, not until it is too great now to control and worse, it had gone too far to go back.



And so the tale of another two worlds starts with a twist of fate. A story not everybody, I reckon, will understand. Two worlds against time and critics, worse, two worlds against their own world. Trying to lurk the real from within because they both knew the consequence. Trying to act as comfortable as they could but they both know there is something going on and only the two of them could understand that.



They flinch back against each other because time ain't that forgiving. They don't want to step forward because they are both scared that it won't be real... eventually.
So as two worlds revolve, let the falling pieces land where they should be.




P.S.
"When I see how my path seem to end up before your face... it is written in the stars." - Damn! am I suppose to believe that there really is what you call "destiny"? Heck! I'm not a fool!... but maybe I really am.




P.P.S.
This song inspired me today.I'm too damn busy these days with my own struggles in life. Yes, my days are full yet I end up empty.

"People need the Lord... At the end of the broken dreams, He is the open door."



P.P.P.S.
I'm missing the "Versions"... too bad!... worse?... I'm getting used living without it. ='(


A Blessed Week Ahead!