It is never the question of "When?"
But sometimes...
I just feel the blessed immunity that is granted forever to me.
And in times that I wanted to write you...
In times that I am writing about you...
I feel so invincible.
That no matter what the state of my emotional quest is...
I can survive it.
For I am a warrior.
But aren't we all are victims?
Betrayed by the stars.
Aren't we all asked for signs?
So specific and so impossible.
But the Impossible happened, right?
How's that possible?
Well because the stars heard you.
The heavens answered.
There goes your sign.
But answered signs
Are not answered prayers.
There we go on praying.
Until signs become red flags.
Red flags turn into dead ends.
That is where we stop. Wonder. Ask.
We are betrayed by the stars. By the Orion and constellations and shooting stars.
But where is my Orion when it's pouring fire and rain?
Where do the stars keep all the wishes whispered to them in the silence of the night?
Where do the stars write all the prayers of the fervent hearts?
Is it all in vain?
Are all the words been left out in the black hole to vanish?
And in the silence of the night
We watch the stars yet again.
Asking for a reason to believe in...
That it is all part of the better plan.
We keep our faith on the stars still.
In the hopes that there's still a way.
For the milky way to change whatever is written in the stars.
This one is for those
Who believed but betrayed
With their own faith.
Who asked for signs.
Of signs so unique,
And so specific,
Just to be deceived.
But with all the reasons
We believed in.
This is for the treason
We now lived in.
So this one is for those
Who believed but betrayed.
Of signs so unique
But in the end left strewn.
With the another wave
Of brokenness.
Didn't we learn from the first?
But still we tried
With cracked hearts
Believing this time it will mend.
So here's to the ones who believed,
Betrayed but keep on believing.
Here's for the signs we asked
For the signs given but remained a sign.
Like a promise so promising
But left to be just a promise
And still undone.
I hope someday we find answers.
I hope someday we'll understand.
Why and how long we must hold on?
With those signs that I kept for seven years.
I hope the heaven won't hold it against me.
If I let go with those promises
Written in the stars.
For who knows who can read it.
And who knows if the stars are keeping it.
All I know is that...
A heart can still beat
In spite of brokenness.
Could I write you a love song
For one last time?
Pour my heart and soul in it,
Like it is really the last time.
Pour all my love in it,
So I could unlove you.
Pour all my pain in it,
So I would no longer hurt.
Pour all my tears in it,
So it will run dry.
I will drink with your glass
So fragile but beautiful.
But I will not pour beers and vodka,
I know much better than that.
I'll be drunk with coffee
And music, and memories.
While drowning with the new waves
Of brokenness.
And I will remember how strange
My reality and my faith.
I will remember how I asked God to spell Love
And He gave me your name.
Now I asked again why I am in pain.
But He just said,
He taught you how to love,
But that doesn't mean he will love you back.
And maybe it was just my mind
Playing tricks to deceive my heart.
But just to remember what it was like...
I write you this love song...
For the last time.
While most people would come to me for help...
And all I can do is give them a piece of me.
Here I am...
Carrying my own baggage...
All alone.
A tea for one...
And no one to sympathize.😔
But in different lyrics...
Saying...
"If I'll fly to the moon, then I won't be back".
But my mind is full...
Of things and tales
That will never happen.
And most of it
Is about You.
I'm chasing sunsets
Because I can no
Longer chase You.
I'm preparing myself
Not to hate someone
But to unlove You.
Cause time and time
And even time
Has given up my chances with You.
