Saturday, November 25, 2006

Ms. John Tucker

Well perhaps it is true that once a habit will always be a habit, that a born John Tucker will always be a John Tucker – if you know what I mean. Perhaps people will always be the same, the same old fools that could easily be fooled and will always have a piece of dirty clay within them. I could hardly imagine a better change for humans than the way I could picture a cow jumping over the moon.


I’m nothing against her… this is just the truth, though.


She is the kind of a lady every girl wished to become. No one could actually hate her except for the bitter ache that the venom of envy could do. Insecurity is the only reason to hate her. Every guy would take a second look on her once she passes by. I hope you get the picture. She is just simply perfect!


She is like nectar that attracts all the bees. But sad to say, I am NOT a bee. I know from the start even before she became a friend of mine (we are still friends, though) that her nectar is a sweet poison that could sting anyone who dares to sip. I knew it. As what I’ve said before – I can see the black out of whites, the white out of blacks and the gray in between.


Vanity of vanities, all is vanity! But what is vanity? I would definitely be one on the lead protesting about the world’s greatest lie – the meaning of vanity.


O! Beauty that a Mac can make… they call it vanity, but it isn’t. I would definitely say that those ladies who wear their make-ups everyday and dress in a very fashionable way are the truest essence of “HONESTY”. I mean “HONESTY” – because they do NOT pretend to be simple knowing that being simple is the hardest thing we could ever become. It is true, though. They know to their selves that they are imperfect and they admit that they need all those stuffs for confidence sake. It isn’t vanity but rather honesty to wear the colors of Mac. I appreciate those ladies who wear the truest essence of being humble – of letting other people know how imperfect they are without these colorful masks.


On the other hand, hypocrites, I would say, could be so deceiving. They would go out without a tinge of red patch on their faces, no trace or sketch of make-ups… whoa! How simple – right?! But ladies are masters of crafts that could bewitch men. Ladies know that simplicity could turn a man around and say – “O! She is definitely a “woman-to-marry” type of a lady.” But behind that hypocritical simplicity lies a lurking filthy flirtatious character that wants all the bees to sip into her nectar and eventually die for her stinging spell. I would say that those ladies who try to be simple are hypocrites to the bone – they are the certified flirts who know exactly all the strategies on how to throw a curve ball right between the eyes of men.


Now, who wears the mask of vanity? Who is the liar?


I pity those men who fell from the stingy curse of her charm. But more than my pity for those men, I pity her more because her attitude is a poison within her being. It is like a lurking guilt but she seems to be too numb to be convicted by her conscience.


“O! Vanity of vanities… all is vanity!”


I pray for the pride beneath the beauty so amazing to behold but too bitter to taste.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Shower Of Blessings

This year is actually jam-packed with so many events that dramatically changed my life. It is just worthy to give thanks to the Big Man. And though there were also disappointments I went through this year, I look at the road beyond the bend.


Many are those granted desires which are now long been forgotten by my frame of mind but the gratitude still lives within. So I’ll just wrap it up with my top 10 list of most memorable events this year, though there are still so much more than I could actually think and remember.


10.) The new life in our family – my cuddly baby nephew was born last June and it just turns me on of being called “aunt” since it sounds like “old”, I mean being “old” cause it just turns me on to think of being old since I was always the baby since I knew I exists. But I’m still a baby brat until now, though! =)


9.) Good friends, old friends, long lost friends, and new friends – I’ve gained a lot of new friends this year and I’m thankful for that. But greater is my gratitude for my good old friends and those long lost friends I’ve lost my contacts with but eventually fate brought them back. I’m glad they stayed and I know they will forever be.


8.) The local publication – it was actually a half-dream come true because after my thorough struggle with my lack of confidence regarding my articles and compositions, I was able to take one bold step and finally was able to gain enough courage to pass it to our local publication and was able to get published. Thanks for the space provided for my stuffs.


7.) The yearbook – I took for granted my review sessions before just to rush the legacy of our batch – our yearbook. Though everybody seemed to be against us (me and my co-editors) and they were giving us a hard time processing the edition, we made it through the deadline, though. What can I say… we are a bunch of good, creative and talented editors (hahaha!!!). I’m glad we broke the record of being the fastest working committee our school has ever had. And the outcome was undeniably amazing to behold.


6.) On the spotlight – I was able to stand and talk in front of a crowd looking strangely before me. Though stage-fright is NOT really a part of my system (hahaha!!!) since I was a former member of Theatre Guild and “stage-confidence” is actually a sort of my "talent” – hahaha!!! It is still a wonderful feeling to have another chance to be on the spotlight once again after a long break.


5.) Revalida – I passed our revalida “out-rightly”. Nicanorian-Tamaraws know what I mean.


4.) Graduation – finally, I am an alumna of FEU-NRMF Institute of Medicine.


3.) Registered Medical Technologist – I passed the Medical Technology board examinations with only a little effort from me and mostly by the faithfulness, power, love and grace of God – To Him be the glory!


2.) Job well done! – I was able to find a “somehow” good job even before our oath taking. I’m hoping and praying for my “regularity”, though.


1.) I’m thankful for the most incredible journey anyone could ever wish or dreamth of – my life. I’m thankful for the chance to witness the beauty of the day and the stillness of the night. The morning sunrise that is so breath-taking and the evening sunset that is so amazing to behold. The serenity of the moon while the stars dance at night and the music of the pouring rain that goes well with the cold crisp breeze of the wind sweetly caressing the skin.

I’m thankful I’m in good vibe with God.
I’m thankful because I have a wonderful loving God.

Yes, though my need is great, my gratitude is greater.


Belated Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Dare To Be Daniel

I’m feeling awful this time because someone else’s life was ruined because of my terrible visions. Though it wasn’t exactly my fault for the mere fact that I did not do anything bad towards that man, I still feel a bit guilty for having such terrible visions for almost quite sometime, and later did I’ve come to know that his father was confined in the hospital… and that was exactly what I visualized even before it actually happened.


I’m feeling guilty, though, for the mere fact that it was my own volition to actually create that vision in my frame of mind not anticipating that it will actually come true. My visions of his father and the like was so vivid and I feel so guilty for even letting my mind fed me up with such animated castles in the air that eventually turned into vivid reality. I feel guilty for even letting that sink into my mind in the first place.


No! – I’m not saying that I have some kind of supernatural powers or third or fourth eye or something similar with the like. It is just that most of the time I dream or visualize something or even people stranger to me, and later will I come to encounter them and learn that what I’ve seen in my mind actually happened. It is eerie, though.


Of course it frightens me sometimes. It is uncanny not to. But as what Spiderman said – “This is my gift and the same is my curse”.


I pray everything will be alright, though.


Have a blessed week ahead!

Ciao!!!

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Great Vanity

Maybe it really is just too good to be true.
Maybe it is just a mere state of blinding hue.
I'm done with all those euphoric illusions.
Darn emotions waving poignant visions.
I'm done with all those castles in the air.
Bitter potion blend with perfume fair.
Ice cream cones made of cold tasteless ice.
Freezing death is the prize.
O! life... what would death be if thou without?
Vanity maybe it is all about.




Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Quest Of A Fallen Angel

I was once in heaven and then I’ve been to hell.
This is my quest.
This is my story.



I was with God the moment I knew I exist. I was with God in heaven even before the universe was born. I witnessed how God created the earth. How He breathed life to Adam and Eve. I witnessed everything.
I’m an angel.


Once upon a time in the kingdom of heaven, Lucifer created his own doctrine. And I must admit I was convinced by his statutes. So we rebelled against God. I was with Lucifer when God threw us in hell beneath earth. I am one of those fallen angels. You see, angels fly NOT because we have wings but because we do not have burdens in our hearts. But since we rebelled against God, we still have our wings but we were not able to fly when He threw us in hell. But since Lucifer was fairer than any of us, he managed to hang around on earth to seduce the mankind (if you know the story of the serpent, the apple and Eve in the Garden of Eden.). That is already a history but people keep on repeating that same tragic story in their own versions in life.


If you’re wondering what hell looks like, well, it’s not yet hot since the returning of Jesus is not yet at hand. And so, the hell is still in good condition… it is not yet dark in there either. It a normal place only exaggerated with all those sinful vices. Name it, the hell has it! – gambles, addictions, fornications, indulgence, and all those sinful habits that are far more than your imagination could reach. Honestly, it SUCKS!


I don’t understand why people think that sin is sweet. IT ISN”T! It is the biggest lie in the world!

It was my biggest mistake the moment I believed Lucifer and turned my back to my loving Father.


So in one corner of hell, I knelt down and prayed to God and asked for forgiveness. It took only a little while when I saw a ladder leading up. I stood up and I stepped forward. One step and then another as I trudge that stairway to heaven.


On my way upward to heaven, I did not realize how long I’ve been climbing on that ladder, not until I met Jesus half way and He said – “I am going to earth to save the mankind.”
I finally realized that I was climbing that ladder for almost thousands of years because at that moment I knew, Jesus will be born in flesh through Mary and will grow up to save the nation. The Messiah He is!


I continued my quest. It was hard. My feet were sore and my body seemed to be rotten with my own decaying flesh. My wings looked like a worn-out kite and the right one was broken. The physical pain grew more each weary step I take and my soul grieves more each time the pain attacks my being. It is a soulful pain.


Finally I heard a blaring sound of trumpets. Then I saw Jesus at my side. It was His ascension to heaven after the 40th day of His resurrection. He embraced me and suddenly my rotting flesh became smooth and clear. My wings regained its strength and the broken one got better. And then I finally, once again, experienced how it was to fly again. I reached heaven with Jesus at my side. God welcomed me with a tight hug and said – “I’m proud of you.”
Though I really don’t deserve such, since I was once a rebel.


I missed heaven. That’s all I know the moment I was back in God’s cradle. And it was such a wonderful feeling.

Days and long days and until now passed but I never missed hell. I don’t think I will ever will.


One day, I talked to God asking Him if I could share my story to the people on earth so that in a way or another, it will be a living testimony of God’s forgiveness and Christ’s salvation.
God said – “Watch out for someone who could write your story for you there on earth. And once you found the right person, visit him/her in his/her dreams. Tell your story and let it be written in man’s hand”


I smiled and God smiled back.


That night I was looking at the viewing-glass and there I saw billions of people on earth. Busy with their lives, indulging into sins and weary about their situations.
But on one corner of the earth, on the southern latitude of the planet, a girl knelt down and prayed not for anything but to give thanks for everything. I smiled and finally I knew I’ve found the one.


That night, I visited her in her dreams and told her my story. As she promised to write it for me to glorify God on earth here in heaven.




So it is written.

This is the quest of a fallen angel and how he let go of his only possession – his pride, just to be with God again. And as he opened his hand to finally drop that only possession he had, it was replaced with the abundance of God’s grace and love.

This is his quest.

This is his story.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

ThE HaCkEr

There was this hacker who hacks another hacker not knowing that another hacker also hacks this hacker.

Now, who is the real hacker?

___________________________________________
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"Cry... The moment that I saw you cry!..."
Duh! That song gives me all the reasons in the world to believe into something that really doesn't exists

What a heck! Life is fun at this moment but something is missing.

What's the use of everything when it means nothing?

Heck!

Heck! Heck! Heck!

I'm happy but I'm angry... to no one.
Reality bites... and stings!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

First Day Work

Yesterday was my first day at work and all I can say is that... it was seriously funny.
After all those bloopers I've been through yesterday, now I'm laughing at myself.
My work at the hospital is not that hard as of now, since the peak season of dengue is just over. So toxicity is not a matter of damnation as for the moment.
But my work gives me the reason to look forward for the weekends so that I could sleep a little longer. Duh! I don't remember dreaming these last few nights since I barely had a looooonnngggg sleep.
But sure I will enjoy sleeping when weekend comes. I always believe that sleeping is disgusting if you're not tired the way the food sucks when you're so so full.
So I appreciate the art of being jaded.
Ciao!!! =)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Where Will Johnny Go?

I ran out of books to read now and since every penny counts to me these days, I never dared to buy new books for my leisure. So out of unbearable boredom, I picked up that old book from our shelf. It was actually my bro’s and I have read it once a long time ago, I was still a freshman in college. I could hardly remember its story; I thought it is because I was not able to relate myself to it the first time I read it or maybe because it really doesn’t have a story after all. But it is such a wonderful novel. Don’t ask me why I call it wonderful when I told you it doesn’t even had a story. I tell you, I could appreciate even the dumbest matter (in other’s view) ever existed.


It is a tragic novel as far as I could comment. It lingers on the poignant nostalgia that eventually ends up competing with oblivion. O! – If oblivion is the medication for poignant nostalgia, then I say, it isn’t a medicine but a pill that will indulge your sense to a brief euphoria of fictions. But then, denying a fact could never change a fact.


Sometimes, books make me believe that truth is beyond what eyes can see and that you have to close your eyes because, there lies, in the blinding darkness, the sincerest truth. Believe me, I have read books from thrillers to tragedies, from fictions to inspiring novels, from Dan Brown to Nicholas Sparks, from Paulo Coelho to Og Mandino, but nothing is more real than those stories we make for ourselves – our life.


They thought me that sincerity, love, and kindness can be so true. But contradictions spell it the other way in such a manner that it could only be too good to be true.


They thought me of life’s purpose. And so it made me think that maybe, God ran out of purposes to give the hour I was born. So He came up with my fate that is so unique, that it would not touch other people’s lives but letting them touch mine, thus, I’m giving them their purpose in life – isn’t that a marvelous idea? That God made up something out of nothing? That at the end of conclusion where nothing is beyond, God made an extension? And that extension is me. If I were not born, then people will have no one to share their purposes in life with. Whom they will share it anyway when they are all too arrogant of what they have and of their purposes? So I’m here to give them their purpose – though dependency is a poison beneath one’s soul. It is like that “Games of the General” where the most powerful ones (the spies) could only be killed by the lowest in the ranks – the privates.


They thought me that a man will always be a man and his desires are his own enemies. I would definitely salute Nicholas Sparks with his novel “A Walk To Remember”; I love it so well that I have read it a dozen times already. But what good is a Landon Carter in a fiction? Truly, a born John Tucker will always be a John Tucker. The “Tree” by F. Sionil Jose’ – a Filipino writer made it clear to see.


Bitter of reality. But is there any other reality aside from reality itself?


Tangled with all those yonder dreams long been forgotten like those childhood memories long been gone beyond the grave. But in the great universe, patches of nebula everywhere would dazzle in our sights and with a sigh of unknown poignant euphoria, we are again surrounded by the darkness of the universe. But, is the universe really dark? I doubt it now, thinking of those billions of stars greater that the “sol invictus”, I bet, it is brighter than the May days. But does it matter? Universe conspired within the clips of everyone’s lives and those ironies will soon appear only as shadows of eternity. Eternity. Where will I go from here?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Atomic Affinity Configuration


A single Proton becomes attracted to a single Electron, but the Electron suddenly changed its configuration. And so, whatever the affinity that was once excited the Proton has changed its magnetic field. So the Proton suddenly repel since the Electron has a negative charge towards the Proton. And though the Proton remained to be positively charged, repulsion governs the entire matter. So both the Proton and the Electron became Neutrons. And since they are now Neutrons, they wander around without affinity.




But the theory of affinity states that when a Proton or an Electron becomes a neutron, they are just in a state called "Inertia". And since they are bounded with inertia, a kinetic energy is needed to bring back these transfigured neutrons to their original charges. And when kinetic energy is applied, affinity excites again those atoms to unite and finally form a molecule. But until then, inertia will remain to be the law that governs the entire SPDF/Atomic Configuration.





This is a theory of a chemist who wanted to add the prefix "Al" to her profession.




A theory is a conclusion of one's story. -Author-