When silence gets louder... it is the state called "awkwardness".
And it is where we are right now.
And I hate the silence more than the loud angry voice... though I've never really seen you angry but I do feel your angst against me boiling like you wanted to tear me apart... and I want you to know that you are tearing me apart now.
I don't know what we have done wrong but we both know that there is something wrong - right?
Its like waking up at the left side of the bed... you don't know exactly what is so wrong in waking up at that side but you know it is the wrong side of the bed when its not right.
I thought it was only my wild imagination that thinks something is going wrong but you just proved me right when you finally dropped the pin and I heard it loud and clear because of the unbearing silence.
When there is no sound, even the sound of silence is defeaning and that is where we are right now.
More than your laugh, I miss your eyes, the way it look at me and everything else stops. More than your choking voice everytime you tease me, I miss the friend I had in you.
Did I said something silly that made you mad?
Or maybe I did not do anything and that is why you're mad.
Am I too insensitive? I'm SORRY!
If only we could break this silence and be friends again.
Somehow, I've been thinking, is there something "chicken" going on?
I can smell something not fishy but chicken... and that gives me that awkward feeling that maybe there is something that could explain all the awkward gestures that you have been displaying these days.
You have been my ears when I needed someone to listen to my pathetic boring life... and I could be the same way to you too if only you let me. But you are avoiding me like a disease and I can't help but wonder why. I can't help myself if I'm missing you so badly. Is it wrong to miss you? Is it wrong to fall for you? Then I hope I'm not falling.
God give me strength to face this battle inside. Amen.