I've been a stranger for so long to my own self and its so sad that I didn't noticed it. There's a dramatical change in my life this year, sometimes when I think of all the downs that I've been through, I just sigh and say - " I'm done with this year, though the year is not yet done with me!". Actually, I feel so jaded and weary, yet I haven't done a thing. Its like I'm wrestling with my own self, trying to win but not noticing that I'm hurting ME.
Funny and ironically as it may seem, cause the dream that I once knew and the same dream that came true turned out to be a nightmare that bites more than reality. Now I've found myself too afraid to dream yet more ambitious than I was. Funny isn't it?! Strange, because the more I surrender, the more I struggle, it seemed like there's no other way but to fight and wait until you win. I'm tired of winning the games I didn't play. I came out of the blues only to find out that I've entered the black hue, and its far darker...
Suddenly after so long, I remembered Him, my bestfriend, the one I used to walk with, talk with, and share my everything. I wonder why He's not with me - did I wander away from Him?... Did I sent Him away?... No! I can't remember doing such things, but why am I alone out here?...
Then I cried, all those sleepless nights and weary days. Suddenly someone pat me at my back, I didn't know who was it, but then He whispered - "what's up?!!!"... I recognized that sweet voice immediately, so I turned around and hugged Him cause I know its Him though I can't see Him.
Yes, He was with me in that dark and lonely scene, I was just too blind to see Him cause it was so dark out there, I was just too numb to feel His presence because it was so cold out there. But He was there!... Yes! He was there... : )