The Lucky One

"When your legs don't work like they used to before... and I can't sweep you off of your feet.... darling I will be loving you till we're 70, baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23..."

I have fallen in love with this song maybe because I'm quite hopeless romantic... but now I have fallen even harder...

And everytime I hear this song I can't helped but somehow pity myself thinking I'll be alone at 70... haha!

But more than that, everytime I hear this song it reminds of my mom and dad.

It's my mom's birthday so it seems right to talk about her and the man beside her....for always.

My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer of the bone and aside from that the doctors also found out that there is a tumor in her spine and that was the main reason she can no longer walk.

And as days passed by, she's getting worse until she suffered from depression.

So recently I talked to her about that. She told me she feels so low because she can't walk anymore and she feels so damn worthless and she pity herself for suffering in that condition.

But the truth is... she doesn't know how lucky she is for having the best husband... for having my dad.

I only saw my dad cried for the first time when my mom was in the operating room. And the moment I saw that... I told myself my mom is one lucky lady.

Now, my dad takes care of my mom, he carries her, feeds her, do anything for her. My mom can no longer walk but my dad is still sweeping off her feet. And that is one heck of a lovely love story.

Sometimes I tell my mom how lucky she is because even though she can't walk anymore, there is someone who is always by her side willing to carry her in every step of the way.

In spite of her condition... tell me... who are really the lucky ones.


I am proud of their love story.
That one worth sharing.

That one who you can really call lucky.

vagabond

Never confuse peace with silence...

For in silence a mind might be thinking a lot and it's chaos.

For in peace a heart can shout out loud for freedom.

And never confuse freedom from wandering...

For you can wander around the world to find a home with a heart chained to loneliness.

And you can be chained with the one you love and feel all the freedom in the world.

To Paul n I (the first of never)

Of faith and chocolates...



If I were a chocolate I could have been sweet but the cocoa percentage got higher hence, I became bitter.

It's not my fault.
I blame the universe.

Here is my bitter - sweet story.

I was a believer of fairy tales, but I did not get my fair share of fairy tale... rather, what I've got is a blockbuster movie... but it's a tragic story.

And they say faith can move mountains, damn fake!
I was a believer until all I've got is make belief. And where is that sense of faith as little as a grain of mustard seed? - let me tell you this...

I got a huge faith about the beautiful tale and I did my best... but the mountain did not move not even a single stone.

My fairy tale turned into a tragic - action - packed movie and the supposed to be happy ever after turned into a wound that never heals. And if fairy tales' red is love, then my movie's red is nothing but blood and it taste bitter.

Well, yeah, sometimes I still believe but when reality bites, not even morphine could reduce the pain. And no amount of sugar can make it sweeter.

So I guess not all faith can move that mountain... and that grain of mustard seed their talking about... is nothing to the stars of the universe.

And no...

...chocolates are not really sweet, they just hide their bitterness.

Their story could have been my story... I prayed for that story so hard but for whatever reason God gave my story to them... I have no idea.
All I know is that I got a lot of blank pages of this book called "the girl who believed"... and I'm filling it up with lots of mistakes...

Then the song goes... "I'll just keep on making the same mistakes hoping that you'll understand... 🎶🎵🎸"

Tea and Sympathy and Jars of Clay

Fare thee well...
Trading all our words for tea and sympathy...
Wonder why we try for things that could never be...
Played our hearts lament like an unrehearsed symphony.

Not intend to leave this castle full of empty rooms.
Love - that captive in the tower never rescued.
And all our victory songs seemed to be playing out of tune.

Cause it's not the way it has to be, don't trade our love for tea and sympathy.

You begin (but) all your words fall to the floor and break like China cups.
And the waitress grabs the broom and tries to sweep them up.
I reach for my tea, slowly drink in.

Fare thee well...
The words, the bag of leaves that fills my head.
I could taste the bitterness but called the waitress instead...
Cause she holds the answers... smiles and asked - "one teaspoon or two? "

Don't trade us for tea and sympathy.

5 Candles and Jars of Clay

A promise or a dare
I will jump if I knew you will catch me.
Staring over the edge I can't tell if you'd be there for me.

I close my eyes and make a wish, turned out the lights and take a breath.
Pray that when the wick is burned you would say that it's all about love.

You were THERE when I needed you,
You were THERE when the skies broke wide wide open.

CAUSE YOU WERE NEVER HERE.

I remember you said that love was more than your good intention.
Empty boxes on the floor,
Things I never asked you for,
I pray that when the wick is burned you would say that it's all about love.

chase is better than the catch

Good things come to those who wait...
But sometimes those things come too late...
So tell me..
Does it really worth the wait?

Rare Moments

I have these rare moments when I am strong enough...
Too strong enough to break.

The Ballad of Sunsets, of Shooting Stars and Broken Dreams

Fear is something more powerful than hate.
Fear is something more powerful than the truth.
Hence, it hinders our sight from seeing the real beauty of what is beyond.

Today I've realized something.
That most of the time, the thing that scares us the most could actually be the most beautiful thing that can happen in our lives.

My two year old daughter was actually afraid of fireworks before. Whenever she hears the loud explosions of the firecrackers, she would cry and hug me tight until her fear cradles her to sleep. Then one night, while fireworks display in a cloudless dark sky, I took her to our porch and I told her to look at those fireworks. So she peeped and when she saw that it was beautiful, she no longer fear those loud firecrackers.

I believe that all of us are like my daughter in a way or another.
We are so scared of those things that we actually don't know yet.
We are so scared of something we only heard about but never really seen.
And just like my daughter, what she's scared of is actually something beautiful.

And just like love.
Most of us are afraid to fall in love when in fact, it could be the most beautiful thing that can happen to us.

Brooks of Garth

Time can heal a broken heart...
But It can also break a waiting heart.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

In spite of all these tears, I wouldn't want to change a thing to everything that happened to me... I'm happy enough to accept all things and thankful enough for the wonderful journey.

And yes, I could have missed the pain, but then, I would have to miss the dance.