Aren't we all damaged?
Like everyone's "Anderson"...
The perfect "what if".
The perfect story of - "Once, when we were together, we thought about the future. Now the future is far done and gone, I only thought about the past. The way I threw away the number you wrote on a piece of paper because I thought at that time I was not worth it, maybe I was too scared, or maybe I was too young, or maybe it was a mistake meant to be done, maybe it's a destiny meant to be my "what if" forever".
It is when all the lies suddenly sunk into the sea and the truth just came out, and it's ugly.
Aren't we all have our own cracks?
Those little thin lines that sets the border.
Where we limit ourselves.
Where we limit others.
Those tiny lines that could break us.
Makes us vulnerable.
But those same lines is where the light slips through.
Aren't we all lost?
Or got lost one time or another.
Or still lost all this time.
But maybe we aren't found because we aren't really lost.
We just thought we are.
But we are not.
Maybe we are exactly where we are supposed to be at this exact time.
We just cannot believe that we are alone.
Maybe we just want company.
Aren't we all frail?
With weak faith and fragile hopes.
Blinded by what is in front of us.
Blinded by the tales fed to us.
For not knowing the other side of the story can shaken your faith.
It changes you.
But only if we knew the story of both sides.
Maybe then we could keep our Faith to each other.
Aren't we all broken?
Broken by the broken rules.
Turning our pain into fears.
Turning our fears into monsters.
Monsters that only us could tame.
Then you can tell me when did your tears turn into rain?
And when did the rain stops?
Then we can bury us beautiful in our memories of pain.
Never mind the happy ever after...
Remember...
The perfect ending doesn't always have to be happy.
But it should always be peaceful.
But if we are to collect stones, how will we know which one to throw?
And if we are all graphites,
How will we know which one will turn into diamonds?
And after all the turns and toasts...
After all the glows and the bows.
I want you to know that this is my best.
Footnotes:
Anderson Crawford is a fictional character in Dawson's Creek Season 1: Episode 3 (Kiss). And through the years, I've always thought that he is one epochal character that turned Joey's illusions into a sad reality. I've always thought that, in our own lives, there will always be that one Anderson who will teach us how to distinguish illusions from realities. And that Anderson will always haunt us everytime we feel lost and lonely, and ask ourselves those haunting words - What If?
This post is about the one great "What If" in everyone's lives.
Though, I don't exactly believe in "What If".
For me, it is just a state of mind especially when you are lonely.
I believe that you will never ask yourself that question if you're happy.
And after all, whatever decisions we've made, whatever the choices we've chosen, in the end, those unchosen ones will always be there to haunt us.
But it is also important to see the beauty of "What is".
For who we are now is the product of our choices.