I met Fofo during the darkest days of my life. People always thought that I shine. I was always bright. Little did they know that I am just using an artificial light to add a spark in my dark life. But you see, Fofo saw the darkness in me and the light I have to create for myself. Fofo accepted both the darkness and light in me. Only Fofo saw that. Sometimes I wonder if he sees through me or did I just showed him the real me. But what gave me the reason to do that? I never let anyone inside my soul. I am good at creating walls. I'm too good actually. So that made me question if it's magic or did I just had a moment of weakness when I drew all my guards down.
So Fofo and I were almost inseparable. Maybe it is just my illusion, or maybe it was real cause it felt real then. And I don't want to go to oblivion yet. Not yet.
Fofo became my Orion. He was the story I've always prayed and dreamed of. He was the story that I wanted to write. In fact, he was the story that I wanted to happen to me.
But with the love of the love that was more than love, I didn't know what happened.
My story became someone else's story.
I cried to all the gods. I got mad and angry. I felt betrayed by fate. I got deceived by my destiny. And with all the right things I've done, I question all the gods and angels what am I guilty of that I deserve such betrayal. I wasn't blameless but I wasn't a demon either to be cast down to freezing hell.
The gods stole my story.
The angels conspired with them.
So I never had the chance of the happy ending.
Fofo went his away across the moon rivers while I was left on the shore like the Huckleberry's friend.
Finding Fofo and losing him began the series of hauntings in my life.
I was looking for Fofo in everyone and everywhere. Like the face I can't imagine in the faceless crowd.
Sometimes, loneliness is starting to creep inside me and I am starting to fear it.
Fofo became the standard.
The Mcfarland.
The reference.
Soon every granite and every stone reminds me of him. Every song sings about him. Every conversation became all too petty for I only speak my language with him.
I see Fofo every once in awhile in my dreams picking periwinkles of violet hues telling me that if it turns red he'll love me again.
But all periwinkles remained violet and some whites.
I miss Fofo.
For the longest time, I carry the story of Fofo inside my heart. I wanted to release it. Maybe then I'll be free.
But if I'll be honest enough, I know Fofo will always have the reserved seat in my heart. He has gotten my soul, how could I be released? How could I be free?
If soulmates are true enough, then Fofo will be mine. I knew from the moment I laid my eyes on him.
I love Fofo.
And I will always love Fofo.
And I don't want to look for any other.
For I already found my Fofo.
Till then I'll wait for my Fofo.
Footnotes:
Fofo is a fictional character but is actually based on real events. Fofo represents the soulmate we always knew we had but never had the chance to have... Just yet. For so many reasons, like time, circumstances, and all the changes life has to offer. But just like me, we don't give up on our Fofos. We simply can't. Because Fofo is the reason why we still believe. Fofo is the faith without the clause to believe in.