(My Decade 2010-2019)
Ugly scars that turned into beautiful marks...
Painful scratches that turned into strokes of wisdom...
As the decade closes and a new one is budding... I have in my heart an overwhelming gratitude for all the blessings in my life.
This decade was a life changing for me...
And it all happened with a purpose I reckoned after sometime.
Youth was never wasted in me for the mistakes I've made before gave me wisdom... The wisdom that I fully understood now that I'm older.
My life's imperfection made me love myself more. That is why I always say that line from my favourite song - "🎶And if all the world was perfect I would only ever want to see your scars.🎶"
My scars made me more beautiful because they are the representation of my strength, of my survival, of my resurgence.
Maybe some people would look at me and say that I am so full of myself that there is no space for someone else in my heart.
Believe me, I get that phrase a lot.
But here is the truth about me so full of myself...
I am NOT a narcist NOR conceited.
I only believe that in order to love somebody else you've got to love yourself first.
And loving yourself so much would only tend to overflow that love... And if love is overflowing... You can love others more as well because you can only give something you have in you...
For how can you give if you don't have it.
If you have love for yourself then you could give love to others because you have it in you.
My being a single mother taught me so much on how to be tough and gentle at the same time.
Believe me, when I broke up with my ex when I was seven-months pregnant back then 7 years ago I was trying my best to be the strongest human being to walk on earth for the sake of my child still inside me. But amidst the strong person that everyone sees in me was a broken woman asking God why it happened to me. I remember crying and asking time after time what have I done wrong? I knew to myself that I am a good woman, I never cheated, not even once, I was always honest and considerate... Believe me I've spent sleepless nights asking why because for goodness sake! Why do bad things happen to good people?
And yes, it took me sometime to finally got the answer for my questions - Why?
And I realized that even though I did nothing wrong in my past relationship, it was meant to end that way because God has plans for me. God intended a mission for me and that is to inspire other women THAT BEING STRONG IS BEAUTIFUL.
I became an advocate in my own way, in my own voice, waving that banner - STRONG IS BEAUTIFUL.
I became an inspiration to other women to choose what is right and stop being weak in the hands of weaker men. I became the woman everyone would ask for advice and everyone would set as an example on how to be strong. And I take pride on that... Not in arrogant way but that kind of pride that I turned my tragedy into a beautiful art... So strong are the hues that everyone gets inspired just by looking at it.
And the same reason why I keep on improving myself because I know that I am not perfect but my imperfections inspires others.
I say that line again - "🎶And if all the world is perfect I would only ever want to see your scars.🎶"
MY SCARS BECAME AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS AS WELL.
MY SCARS ARE NO LONGER UGLY LINES BUT BEAUTIFUL MARKS.
NO LONGER SCRATCHES OF PAIN BUT STROKES OF WISDOM.
Now, as a new decade opens up for me, I am much more confident that I can jump and fall again... But this time... I won't be crashing my way to the ground... I've learned my way now how to jump and fall and LAND gracefully to my rightful place.
I am much more courageous to go beyond my comfort zones and one by one fulfill my bucketlists.
And more than anything...
I've learn to walk by my Faith more than my instincts...
Because God is faithful in everyway.
So help me God again and again, Amen.
Happy New Year!
Welcome 2020!