Daniel 5:27 "TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting." - KJV
Here's the thing about beauty. Beauty is pleasing and is designed to charm. But if you exposed yourself too much in it... It will haunt you, in dreams, in every pavement, every corner and every streets, in every breath and every song.
And so beauty becomes a tragedy.
And it happened to me for as long as I can remember my very first word.
I got so mesmerized in the beauty of art and what it has to offer, and so I got blinded with the beauty.
At first, it promised me so many beautiful things... For beauty is what it always offer. For it is the supreme duty to kill everyone with its beauty.
And those promises were so damn beautiful but it remained a promise not turning into reality.
But I kept on asking for more promises...
More beautiful things...
Until that beauty became my sweet poison.
I was so drunk with that potion that I thought I was doing the right thing.
I fought in the name of ART, of beauty and all that it could offer until I am all alone left fighting and struggling.
No one cares to fight for ART anymore; not even ART itself wants to fight for beauty. Everyone got tired until I chose to get tired too.
In my desperate struggle for that long fight, I tossed my sword, take off my armour and walked away alone because no one is there with me anymore. Not even ART.
He left a long time ago.
ART made me happy. I am his lover and a fan. I live my life in every form of ART, but happiness in the name of ART is a struggle to go through each and everyday killing me and all the other beautiful things that surrounds me. So I have to let go.
Sometimes, promises must be broken in order to be fulfilled.
I walked away with that saddest hymn of defeat and impeccable goodbye that I think ART itself wants to hear from me a long time ago... He is waiting for me to let go of him... My lover, my pride, my passion, my beauty... My ART.
No more sweet lullabies.
No more summer of '69.
No more drowning in coffee and lemonade.
No more teenage angst brigade.
No more nostalgia in Brisbane.
No more Novocaine.
No more zephyr in Colorado.
No more making plans for tomorrow.
No more waltz in Tennessee.
No more holding on to the flame for everyone to see.
No more strawberry fields in Liverpool.
No more sitting on a hill like a fool.
No more wonder wall.
No more angels in the marble.
No more sweetest downfall.
No more floating like a cannon ball.
No more Vincent's eyes so blue.
No more songs for an angel that flew.
No more sister golden hair surprise.
No more semi charmed kind of life.
No more empty chair waiting.
No more springtime in February morning.
No more angels flying without wings.
No more four strong winds.
No more last great American.
No more songs for Stephen.
And neither for Adrianne.
No more paper cuts.
No more bright lights.
No more drinking for the youth.
No more Clint Eastwood.
No more good riddance.
No more long ways to run.
No more heart like yours.
No more child warrior.
No more heaven by your side.
No more you and I collide.
No more ironies.
No more love and symphonies.
No more erase and rewinds.
No more morning bells that chime.
No more rhythm of the falling rain.
No more antifreeze and aeroplanes.
No more story of a girl.
No more talk on corners.
No more age of the underdog.
No more long and winding road.
No more asking why does it always rain on me.
No more tea and sympathy.
No more odds that are.
No more tar in that old cigar.
No more leader of the band.
No more Alice in wonderland.
No more tasting saline when I kiss your tears.
No more cold coffee in the morning freeze.
No more hotel California.
No more losing Amelia.
No more Timothy.
No more remedies.
No more hybrid theories.
No more crying like a church on Monday.
No more woods in Norway.
No more musikero.
No more piano concerto.
No more hanging by a moment.
No more broken sonnet.
No more city of angels.
No more circles and triangles.
I know I missed a lot of you out there... Sorry, I can't write all of your songs here but they are all locked inside my heart.
I salute all those artists that cultivated me and touched my life. Growing and learning with all of you is one thing I know I will carry with me when I die.
I've built you a sepulchre in my heart.
Now, I have to leave and just hope that we'll meet again along the way.
Because....
I think paradigm shift is a must in some point of our lives.
I believe that those who cannot change their minds are in the verge of not using it.
So I changed my mind.
And my heart came next to it.
So help me God not to want when I have to tip the balances.
All in Jesus name.
Amen.
