"Time for a cool change
I know that it's time for a cool change
Now that my life is so prearranged
I know that it's time for a cool change"
---- Little River Band----
(Cool Change)
Today, is actually the "Beginning", and now, today is almost over. Am quite nervous because am not sure how long will this feeling continue to wrap up my soul... my consciousness. I've learned the truth that we should not trust the present completely. Am pressured for the fact that destiny is at my hands... I don't know exactly how long I could hold on to grasp it tight, but every moment counts.
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I'm about to leave the things I've always depended on for almost a year now. It was like a ritual... a routine... and now, a sudden change. A good riddance in my view, though, but its hard. Its hard to leave the tangible things we touch everyday, but its harder to leave the feeling of nostalgia. It is for the fact that we are dependent in our memories... even though it is painful.
We love the pain because it reminds us that we are real in existance. We love the pain even though it kills us slowly, because we know that we are not numb. We are happy for the gift of poignancy because we better have it that way than to be numb... no one finds joy in numbness.
That is why its so hard to leave the past. The way we are, the way we were, days turned into years but your eyes are still drowned by your tears. We think we can change our lives, but it is the life that changed us. It isn't about you, it isn't about me, and neither about us... it is about everything. We need to die each day we live because it is between hope and another day less to live. We need to hurt those we need and to destroy those we love because of insecurities, without realizing that as we hurt them, the pain strikes back to us twice.
As poignancy turns into a sweet reverie... we are indeed a prisoner of our own pasts. But we should not live with the past... do not live with the past, but do not forget it either... after all, you'll never be the person you are right now without it. Never forget you past... because the more you struggle to forget it, the more you're living it.
Never let the past prevail over you present... and neither your present over your future.