Gravity

Sometimes I wanted to hate gravity because it pulls everything down, like it prevents everything to fly. You jump… you fall… because of gravity. If you fall, you get hurt or even die. We can have all the reasons in the world to hate it.



But then I asked myself… how is it to be able to fly for eternity and you can never rest your feet?… because there is no gravity. It would be very, very tiring – right? It is like the thought of flying but the truth is… you’re just floating without a ground to stand on – so tiring.



There is a lesson in gravity. A lesson why there is and why there should be gravity. It is the reason why we fall, we get hurt, and we die. But it is also the same reason why we could finally rest our tired feet ever wanting to touch the ground. The reason why we could finally settle down our whole body and be able to maintain our balance.



Flying is great… floating is fine, but falling and finally reaching the ground is the feeling that only the gravity at the center of the earth could make you feel. I believe it is strangely awesome.



Maybe that is the reason why the world is round and not flat… so that the gravity could be placed at the center of the earth, because if it is flat… then it would be just under. But since the earth is round, gravity is placed at the center … gravity is the reason why we fall… it is at the center. Love is the reason why we fall… maybe because it is at our center.



The truth is… gravity NEVER pulls us down… it pulls us TOWARDS THE CENTER… to finally gain our balance… to finally know that we are at rest even though the world continues to rotate and revolve tiringly around us.


Let the gravity work.

The Nebula

Life in my eyes is all about stories. Stories told, stories that had happened once upon a time, stories to be told, stories about to happen, stories that could have happened but never was and will never be.



Life in my eyes is a billion reflections of different stories meant to become one story.



Life touched by a story could become bitter then sweet, then tasteless. It is like the taste of mint on your tongue, you don’t really know what it tastes like. It is cool but irritatingly hot, it is sweet but a little spicy- minty… right? But you’re loving it, and for all you know it’s taste is gone… and your tongue becomes tasteless.



Life is a story behind a dedication – a bitter yet sincerely, profoundly meaningless means. A dedication – it is your reason, your window into beauty… on why there is what you call “beauty”. It is like an echo, it is not the genuine sound but just the continuous strings of intangible beginning of the genuine sound.



Life is an echo of felicity that disappears in a great chasm of poignancy, an occasional burst of laughter that could be plotted above a graph of an interminable wail of misery, like a terrible giggle in the midst of your horrible forced march to death in hell. It is a single skip of bliss.



If I had a story to tell about once upon a time on earth, is a story of a nebula.



A nebula – it is a cloud of gas, blurry, gloomy, but it is where stars are born. Sometimes, the gas in the nebula is remnants of a supernova.



A supernova – it is a star that dies and fades away for a reason. It leaves the sky empty in a particularly spectacular way of falling to make someone else’s wish come true. But the truth behind a wish coming true is another story of a violent fashion of emptiness.



Each of us is a nebula.



Once upon a time on earth, there was a girl and she had a supernova. But her supernova, for a certain reason fell out from her sky to make someone else’s wish come true. The one side of the story was sweet and happy because it was a wish coming true from a falling star. But the other side, the side of that girl who lived once upon a time on earth was another story, a sad, tragic story of a sky being emptied for eternity. A sky empty for that was once a space occupied by a supernova, but now it’s gone… forever.



So the remnants of the supernova became a cloud of gas. Blurry, ugly, gloomy and full of poignancy… it became a nebula. But as the cliché goes… a tale to end is another tale to begin.




Then there was a nebula where another star is born… and hoping to become the next supernova.



Your story….
It is easy to find…
Because it is the only one like it.



The End. ☺

Echo Of Your Breath

Was it a dream though I’m not asleep?
The melodious thunder so to speak
And I swear, the feeling was so wonderful indeed
When I heard my name from the echo of your breath.

Eternal Sunshine

What if there is no forgetting and there is no remembrance either… just the moment as it is?


I don’t know exactly what to feel about the movie (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). I wanted to get mad about the “why’s” but the madness did not stay that long… it never last that long because the reason is enough not to stay angry about it.



I don’t know exactly where we would be without our memories. I mean, memories are strong, so strong that it could make time still while the earth continues to rotate. Memories are stronger than changes, it is as strong as love and as infinite as time. Where would we be without it?



It is the architect of our being, the art of our emotions, the source of the “why” we smile, cry and get angry. It was once our life, it was once our present, it was before even before our future.. to relive it is not to live with the past but to be able to face the present and to be able to deal with the future. And I could barely imagine the poignant realization of taking it away from you. It is like you were not been born at all, you just suddenly existed as you are, no past… no memories… no beginnings.


But who are we without our past? And even if we have… how will we know it without our memory?



My heart was moved at the part (of the movie) when Joel and Clementine was at the beach, it was night and they both know that when the morning comes, their memories about each other will all be gone, then Clementine asked Joel – “So what will we do now?” then Joel paused for a while and said – “enjoy the moment.”


The way he said it was so damn frustrating, it was like… he knows it will be gone forever and he wanted it so much to seize but he knows that it is inevitable, like all the forces of nature and the universe conspired together to take it all away.


Then I ponder for a moment and asked sincerely… why do beautiful things end so soon and more painful than that… sometimes it ends even before it starts to happen.


Will there be an eternal sunshine if you have a spotless mind?

beautiful crap

The idle moments of the day. It is when I just lay my back on my bed and my poetic mind wander around on every sketches of your face and all I could write about are just adjectives about an angel.


The sun shines and sets on your face and the picture is the portrait of a thousand sunsets… like the million rays of the sun that sums up the light of the day.


Each night I wish upon a star, and then there you are… my shooting star. You are supposed to make my wish come true but I don’t want you to fall because if you fall, you will leave my sky empty forever. But then, if you fall… please land in my arms safely.



The poetic distance, the yonder dreams kept me awake, but just a glimpse of your face makes me want to fall asleep and never again wake up.



It is the reality that bites us then swallows us up until we are finely digested inside the monster’s belly. But if you’re asking me why am I still betting my last penny? … well, it is like in the lottery where in you have lost everything you have in your pocket but still you bet again even the very last penny for your fare home… no! It’s not because of money… but it’s because of HOPE… that tiny sledge of adrenaline that crosses your veins just right before you check the winning numbers. That is HOPE. That tiny speck of hope that you are grasping that MAYBE this time you will win.


It is not bad… but neither it is good.



So here I go again… the supreme epitome of an optimist who believes that the world is so beautiful and really believes in it up to last minute it is proven a crap. Then smiles disappointedly and says it is for the best cause there is a reason.


So how optimistic is that?


How universal is the water? Those 2 atoms of hydrogen and 1 molecule of oxygen sums up the universal solvent. But the ultimate riddle is… “waters cannot quench it and neither flood can drown it.”

Resurgence

The longest hiatus so far in my journal history, and right now, I’m finding it hard to return. So I guess there goes the lesson… if you can’t go back… then move forward. But I have to slow down because there is a pit of emptiness ahead. The truth here is… I’m messing up my entire present for my future… so how does it sound???


So I wake up each day reminding myself that I have to face the future like I face today like I’ve always done in the past. In the end… it sums up my life.


I’ve got a lot of ideas spinning at the back of my mind but the moment I grab my pen, they all start to slip away so fast that I have to drop my pen again.


Sometimes, you have all the reasons in the world compared to one irrational reason, but still, that one irrational reason makes all the reasons in the world without a sense. Maybe because “RIGHT” never means “HAPPINESS”. And even if you look at the dictionary, you will find out that I’m right… that the word “RIGHT” is not synonymous with ‘HAPPINESS”.



So the irony of life goes on. The fire teaches us about water and death teaches us about life. And the things that we’ve always believed in could easily become a piece of crap. It is like believing in the setting of the sun when the truth is… the sun never sets… it is the earth that rotates.


Sometimes I wonder, if I ever follow the sun… will I ever meet the night?...


The night is dark…
The sun is bright…
My shooting star made my wish come true…
But it left my sky… EMPTY.

The Path

I ran away... and now I'm back... but everything is still the same... the same path that leads me... towards your FACE.

Morayta Bridge Is Falling Down

… a promise or a dare, I will jump if I knew you will catch me. But you were floating when I was falling. The pain is hurting but a glimpse of your face takes it all away. How could something that hurts you really badly could make you happy?... but you do. The earth rotates so thus the sun sets. The same time of the day the bridge fell down… twice already… but I know it will fall again.

Yes, I know that there’s what we call “once in a lifetime” but I also believe in the concept of “another chance” … and “last chance” .

“…Morayta bridge is falling down, falling down.
Morayta Bridge is falling down… my fair-y tale.”

LINGER

People miss happiness not because they never found it but because they never slow down to enjoy it.


Sometimes we want to finish everything in a very short period of time and so we end up getting disappointed NOT with the result of our accomplishments but of what we missed in the making of it.

Is it alright to be scared about the way you live your life?... because I do.