This is a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world.
There’s a flat and it wasn’t the boy next door but preferably next floor.
Was the first move so loud that it built a bridge to silence?
Then the silence gets louder everyday that it could make everyone in the flat so embarrassingly notice it.
Who was to blame?
Why do we always seek fault to other people around and do not find the fault in ourselves.
Blame me if there’s no one to blame ...but think again.
Second thoughts disturbed you… disturbed her… disturbed me.
Keep on disturbing us...
No way I’m wishing for a shining star to fall.
I’m not that rude… not that frustrated…but…
But at least I’m worthy to at least know the right and true answer.
Don’t give me the feeling that I will only believe in.
One sided as usual.
Or is it different now… only in a much bitter way.
So just a thought of it make me smile… nope… actually make me bitterly laugh…
Sense humor, right?
God did this whole joint to us… He wasn’t playing a dice when it happened… He just had a great sense of COMMON and a much greater sense of humor.
This is a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world… and she’s laughing.
They say that the cure for love at first sight is to take a second look… but closer.
I swear he did…
But I’m not so sure if he was healed.
Am I healed?
Does it worth the keeping?
Or am I worthy for it?
Do we worth the keeping?
Is the grass greener on the other side…?
I’m on the other side.
Do we worth the keeping?... when silence is getting louder everyday…
Do we still worth the keeping?
P.S. Is there anyone out there who could decipher the cipher? (Oh! Lame Saint)
I’ve been putting a lot of effort to write something about preaching the gospel in different ways. Since I have to admit that am not really active INSIDE the church, I do not go in front of everybody and talk about God, I just go to church, sit on one corner and listen to the preacher. So they call me (us) “INACTIVE”. But I would like to clarify things not to defend myself nor redeem myself because God had redeemed me already more than anyone could ever know.
I preach the gospel in my work place. They know me as a Christian and they recognize it in my attitude towards everything and anything and everyone and anyone.
I’m indeed very happy to share that one of my co-league had changed a lot since I talked to her about living the Christian way.
This is exactly my point… that preaching is NOT limited inside the church only. Am I ringing the bell?
I’m writing this not to defend nor redeem myself but for those who belittle other church goers who just sit and listen… I am their voice. We are preachers in our own right… in the name of Jesus Christ.
Do U Read Planetareans?
Time… it is still the old feeling of being forgotten. Being left out in the midst of the raging battle you are racing with. Coping for tomorrow but not finish with the day.
Fear… it is still the old feeling of insecurity. Being doomed in a space without corners. So scared to loose hence never gained a thing. So scared to fall and might not get up again.
Life… it is still the old feeling of living. Being old and grey while new things sprout everyday. While everything moves around everywhere, you are caught in the middle. Caught in the middle of a play not knowing your part.
Pain… it is still the old feeling of poignancy. Being bitter by the sweet memories. You live in a garden without a flower, like a summer without the sunshine. It is like living always in a snowy weather but it was never a Christmas.
Time… it is still the old feeling of reminiscing every moment.
Is the clock broken???
Patience remains a virtue.
With all the things I’ve done… with all the right things I’ve done… I must have done something really, really wrong to suffer this bitter poignant nothingness.
Though amidst the pain, I still find reasons why I’m here. Being so incomplete is God’s plan for me so that I won’t stop dreaming, I won’t stop working and I won’t stop striving to achieve those yonder dreams.
The lesson behind every poignant truth and the reverie behind every sweet tear.
It is all in heaven’s plan.
The bird says – “I maybe small but I can fly.”
The horse says – “I may not able to fly but I can run.”
The turtle says – “I may not able to run but at least I can walk, I’m not destined to crawl.”
The snake says – “I may not able to walk but at least I could crawl, I can move from one place to another.”
The tree says – “I may not able to move from one place to another but at least I’m standing tall.”
The grass says – “I may not be standing tall but at least I’m alive.”
The soil says – “I may not be alive but at least I’m fertile.”
The water says – “I may not be fertile living underground but at least I could flow.”
The coral says – “I may not be able to flow but at least I’m beautiful.”
The man says – “???”
If only man could appreciate these things…
P.S. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning when these things suddenly popped up inside my head. Good thing, I always had my pen and papers underneath my pillow, with that I could write even in the most holy hours of sleep.
Just added another year to my life and I’m celebrating this day with my blog. I’m alone but I’m not feeling lonely. As a matter of fact, I need this time badly. It’s been a while since I had spent time alone and awake. I’ve been spending so much of my energy to may work recently and though it gives me that self-fulfillment, I still needed to catch up with my life as a whole.
A couple of years ago I spent my birthday in the four walls of the hospital and my co-interns back then surprised me with a birthday party at exactly midnight inside the Pathology Department. This time, I again spent it inside the four walls of the hospital with my interns and co-leagues at the Department of Pathology. Last week, my other interns also surprised me with an advance birthday bash since they are not on duty on the exact day of my birthday. So might as well celebrate it in advance. That is the one thing that I have that my other co-leagues inside the Patho Department does not have - the warm thoughts from the interns.
So I thank everyone @ Pathology Department for the warm thoughts and to those resident doctors who came by to sing the birthday song for me.
So now, let’s have the roll call…
Since I’m now in my early 20’s, I could say that I’m a half-full pitcher (I don’t want to be a glass, I want a pitcher). I’m half way to my destination. My dreams now are half-fulfilled, my ambitions are now half-achieved, and my aspirations are now half-realized. I’m a restless warrior trying to keep the burning torch alive because I am the young apprentice of life.
I have to strive to fully make up for the other half so that when I reach the olden age, I could look back and cruise back in time with a full life. I have to make this journey worthwhile so that when the golden years is already at hand, I could look at myself in front of the mirror and I could only sigh with a smile knowing that those lines on my face and those withered white hairs are just a proof of a soul who had seen better days, a life who had touched others and made a difference, a walk on earth that worth every fight.
So I greet myself another happy fruitful worthy year.
P.S. Wish list: It always ends up to that one thing. The hope of the hopeless, or should I say… the only hope. The writer of the script, the director of the play, the author of the book of my life… the finisher of my faith. So be it. Amen.
