They say a strong woman holds on to his husband even when he is not yet established, survive the struggles together, succeeds together, and build their own empire together.
They say I am a strong woman. Everybody tells me how I inspire them with my life story. How I survived my struggles on my own, how I succeed on my own, how I'm building my empire on my own.
And I'm alone.
Maybe I was not that strong, because I let you go when you cannot make both ends meet. You left me because you are not yet established but instead of convincing you that we can make it together, I pushed you away, criticized you on how weak you are. But you are not the only one, the truth is... you are weak but I'm the weaker one. My grip on you is so weak that a small pressure could break my hands and let you go.
I know I never said this to you but now I am telling you...
I'M SORRY!!!
I'm sorry I let you go that easy.
I'm sorry I never trusted you.
I'm sorry for being weak.
I'm sorry for pushing you away.
I'm sorry I was immature,
I'm sorry I don't know how to compromise with you.
I'm sorry for both of us.
I know time can never be rewind... and I'm sorry because all I could do now is say how sorry I am.
Please forgive me of my shortcomings back then.
God is a forgiving God...
It is me who cannot forgive...
Until now I'm struggling to forgive myself about what I did and what I did not.
Help me to forgive myself by forgiving me yourself.
And maybe through forgiveness I'll find peace...
Maybe then I'll be happy.
Just maybe.