i wanna decide cause its worth deciding...
trying to change like everything is the same but the fact is... when i finally looked back i realized that nothing is the same.
the kids grew a lot taller now and the old men grew older.
and what is so frustrating right now is i'm trying to write two editorials and the good part is i've started them both, the sad part is, i can't seem to finish them... feel so uninspired.
senseless... i'm not feeling anything at all in the midst of all these drama in my life, i still feel nothing. and so, again and again this is what i call the epitome of days full but life empty.
like i'm playing this lead role in a movie with a very good script yet i'm just the actress and so after the scene, i don't feel the drama anymore because i was just living somebody elses life. don't i have a life of my own?
pretty much of a shit if you imagine huh
but "obladi oblada" life goes on right?
not even pain made me down... and that is something wrong. when being numb has become your greatest weapon in your life, it will hurt you more than pain.
and i am the epitome of that numbness.
and more than just numbness is oblivion into nothing. when reality and fantasy has lost its color how could you differentiate them?
when everything becomes plain... whatever color it is... you can never distinguish the difference anyway.
and as far as i could get... or did i ever moved at all?
but i haven't left my place... how could i be next to "why owe you".
so what else could i say if no word could fit anyway.
ironic... always been ironic.
how parallel universe could be so strict in our fates.
i fear nothing but i feel fear...
so there goes...
so much for an empty post.
just like the way you were before you found "each E are"...
am i the butterfly upon the wheel?
or just the busy bum?
