People often say that we should “forgive and forget”. Well I prefer to “forgive and learn”. I don’t hold grudges, it is a waste. Let bygones be bygones. But we’re not living in the past, and that is actually the problem. Today is the present. It’s like I’m holding on to the tide while everybody is surfing. NOT that I’m afraid of changes but because we’re not really changing at all.
You’re still the same person I knew since childhood, or better yet, since MY world begun. You’re still the same person who thinks I’m a selfish jerk, egotist to the bone, a maverick with her own orthodox, and a neurotic spoiled brat. You don’t show that you hate me, maybe because you’re not supposed to do that. But I know better in sensing such inert instinct repelling behavior.
I’m not what you think. You don’t know me even though we’ve been at the same place for almost all our lives. My being different made you hate me. But why? Is it a sin to be so different?... I don’t think so. You hate me because you can’t deceive me like the way you deceive other people. You hate me because I knew you better more than you know yourself. You hate me because I know your selfish motives just to gain a glittering nomenclature for your own brass identity… Absurd! I’m sick of your plastic bucks and clocks that you use just to buy people for your own prestige and stab them at their backs anesthetically. I’m fed up of your lachrymose pathetic drama while at the back frame of your mind you’re actually dancing in euphoric dirty glory. You hate me because I know so much about how stingy you are while you parade your damn patriotic image like a puritan.
I DON’T walk along the street with an all white garment and a banner on my forehead saying “I’M A SAINT” like YOU DO. I DON’T parade my bucks and clocks going to charities with a flag on my sleeve saying “I’M GENEROUS” like YOU DO. I just walk around naked and let other people see the flaws in me because that’s what I’m made of.
Nothing is more honest than being yourself.
You hate my honesty.
Right now, I’m like a chemist trying hard to add the prefix “AL-” to my profession. My frustration is to turn lead into gold, or better yet, turn a devil into a Christian. Really, it is a frustration because I’m filthy like we all are. Please do not exclude yourself. Is your hatred overwhelming you like a gutter containing the intensity of Niagara Falls; you cannot handle it anymore, because I’m telling you the truth? Stop being a bigot.
Don’t worry; I DON’T hate you though I’m hurting. Hatred is something that is really NOT a part of my system. It NEVER runs in my blood. Grudges are wastes and I throw them as soon as I found them inside my life. This is my way of throwing grudges/wastes… and same way I cherish the good old days.
Acknowledgments:
I would like to thank www.blogger.com for providing me my blog where I throw all my grudges/wastes and keep all my cherished good memories. It never fails to make me feel better after a certain post. Thank you.
