Calje Sto. Tomas (Part 2)

Was she told when she was young that pain would lead to pleasure?
Did she understand it when they said...
That a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure?
Will she still believe it when he's dead?

Calje Sto. Tomas

Even though how many times I tried to swerve...

My path still ends before Your face.

Its a big world... but it seems so small...

Maybe because its our destiny to meet each other in the eyes and realize what our hearts desire.

And God finally is making His moves (as always) to direct our paths to each other.

And this will be our story... our song...

Blessed Assurance from God that He knows what is best for us, wants what is best for us, and will do what is best for us.
In Jesus name. Amen.

Will Of Destiny

If you want to be TOGETHER...
first, you have TO-GET-HER.

"Can two people walk unless they are agreed?"
Amos 3:3



Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the boy who came to stay?
He's the kind of boy you want so much
It makes you sorry
Still, you don't regret a single day...

Medical: Mission I'm _ Possible

(My Daily Journal While On The Road For 5 Days Without My Laptop)





Day 1 : Part 1 (Linger)

Monday, October 3, 2011. My alarm clock was set at 4am to catch up the first bus. But due to my toxic 16 hours duty yesterday, I woke up late with that usual shock on your face when you woke up late and you have to rush- Oh my God! 6am!!! :-$

I still have to pack my things for my 4 days mission. I left our house @ around 8:30am and of course, I was hopelessly hoping that I could still catch the bus... but of course, that did not happen.

So I went to the 2nd terminal to catch up the next trip which, was, on my condescending nice way of acceptance, still @ 1pm.

I headed my way to the cafeteria... had 3 cups of coffee that even the waitress noticed my addiction... she said - "hey that's already your 3rd cup."
I smiled and said - "I've got 4 hours to kill!"

And the music goes - "you know I'm such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger, do you have to let it linger, do you have to, do you have to
do you have to let it linger."







Day 1 : Part 2 (Smile)


The day started with a warm sunshine until rain started to pour hard enough to make me feel so cold. The sun forces itself to streak a bit of its rays amidst the dark thick clouds.

First Px, 3 year old girl. Her smile was the warmest thing that I ever encountered since I can't remember.

Mission #1 : Be kind to everyone and that means no judging at first sight, no paranoia against anyone, and stop being a snob.
Be kind. You're just like them. Ain't that special.





Day 2 : Part 3 (The Butterfly Effect)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011. I woke up from that delicious aroma coming from the kitchen. Its 7 in the morning and breakfast is ready. Italian bologna, omelette, rice and of course... coffee. After breakfast, I headed my way outdoors for sun therapy... what I really needed.
As soon as I was outside, I noticed these yellow butterflies all over the green meadows. They looked so happy, then suddenly I remembered that black butterfly that kept on appearing these past few days at the hospital I'm currently employed.
Somehow, I believe that, that was the soul of my old friend who just passed away.
Somehow, something tells me that he just wants to greet me a happy birthday.

Thank you for the friendship and may You rest in peace.
(Dedicated to Iñigo RIP)







Day 2 : Part 4 (Cordillera Rocky Mountain High)



God really has that deep sense of humor that could make you laugh so hard, so hard that it could even make you cry. Its almost 6pm. I've been waiting for the stars to come out but the clouds seem to hinder them all. The day is almost over but we are still here, still climbing this mountain without any inspiration and worst... we don't even know what awaits us there. But God in his most hilarious ways made a way to make us laugh till we cry... tears of joy.

God uses people for other people. Humans will always be humans. They will always have the heart to care and to help.

(Dedicated to Cory, Danny and Mr. Smith [FTW!!!])







Day 3 : Part 5 (Toss That Feather)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011. Misty morning, crispy air, and warm sunshine greeted me this day. I was in charge for our breakfast so I headed straight to the kitchen to find out that we ran out of eggs. There are several mouths to feed and I only got 1 egg left and did I mentioned that we are in a mountain and that means there are no stores in here. Good thing there's flour. So I thought we could have fried brownies for breakfast. In case you haven't heard of fried brownies... its because its an original recipe of mine. Brownies minus the oven plus the frying pan. Its as easy as doing your pan cake in the morning. So there it goes... Bono!!!






Day 3 : Part 6 (Black Bird Fly)

Salvation is here. Christ died to save us from our sins and dying to save someone else's life even though that person is not worthy happened today.

Mr. Red Goldberg died early this morning. I'm not so sure if I was indeed shocked or was I expecting it to happen. It was only last night when I came to talk to him about giving up his soul for someone he had just met. Was I too convincing that when morning came, he ended up his life? Is it right to say thank you or should I say I'm sorry?
I guess I just have to say both... I'm sorry and thank you so much!
Redemption happens.
History repeats itself.
Salvation is here.
(P.S. in case your interested, Mr. Red Goldberg is a pet)

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise...
Black bird fly."







Day 3 : Part 7 (Wheels Of Destiny)

Somehow, my sudden disappearance from the public eyes made someone special to me thinks that I'm losing my grip.
Though we've been friends for quite a long time now, he's been a bit more (too) protective to me these past months since I broke up with (now) my ex-bf.
Though it is just his way of being concern... yeah its sweet but I don't like the way he thinks about me losing myself over some not-so-worthy guy because I'm not that kind of girl.
I'm doing fine... I really am doing fine so you don't have to worry about me.
Thanks for trying to shift me back on the right track but I don't think I'm trudging the wrong one.
Thanks for your overly sweet concern, just next time please choose the right words that won't hurt me because the pain is twice much harder to bear when it comes from you.
(What matters is what you do... Fortune favors the bold.)










Day 4 : Part 8 (County Road)

Thursday, October 6, 2011. Last day of my mission but still I haven't found any answers. I'm still confused. Oh! God! please help me. A mixed feeling of fear, hatred and misery embraces me. I feel so down.








Day 4 : Part 9 (I Will Face Tomorrow)


Because Jesus lives, I will face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fears are gone. Because I know He holds the future. Life is worth the living because He lives.








Day 5 : Part 10 (Loving It)

Friday, October 7, 2011. The ride back to the city gave me a headache and to add more savor to my grumpy headed morning, I've got to ride a jeep. I don't know why I can't master the art of riding a jeepney.Grrr!
So now, I'm sitting here at Mc Donalds savoring my breakfast muffin...
Thank God there's Mc Donalds to lighten up my morning grumps.


Acknowledgments: Samsung, Nokia, blogspot, flickr, stockholm, Mc Donalds, and my ever companion in life Jesus, my God, my Saviour. Amen.

Run

1 Corinthians 9:24 (KJV) “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all but one receiveth the prize? So run that ye may obtain.”


Maybe this race is not about winning but reaching the finish line. Maybe it’s not about getting the first place. Maybe it is about who is with you as you run that race, and that no matter how long it will take you to reach the finish line, no matter how tired and down you are, no matter how many times you disappoint the one who is with you, still He will never leave you.
I believe that we all have our own prizes, but that prize is not going to be there at the end. Because what we don’t realize is that, our prizes had been there all along with us. Our prize is actually that one person who bears with us as we run along. They are our priceless prizes and it has always been there with us. And it has always been Jesus, our loving Savior.

At this moment I’m confused and worried but I’m letting God to have His own way. I’m putting everything in your hands Lord… it is safe in there.


Thank you Lord for the inspirations in life. From simple messages, smiles, a kiss on a cheek that goes way beyond... it made me realize how much you still and will always love me no matter how many times I disappoint you, leave you, hurt you and let you down.

I love you Lord! Amen.

Nick Of Time

When we're in a hurry to grow up... we'll never grow... we'll just get old.

Time is a process...

It makes us who we wanna be, and who we should be, and who we could be...

Let time do the hurry.

That Sweet Butterfly On A Wheel Is Tougher Than You

This is a story of a guy who didn’t cry a river but drowned all the girls and why he looks so happy in photographs I’ll absolutely tell you he’s not.


So this is the story of a guy, quite well known for being the heartthrob and asshole at the same time.


The guy every girl will swear she’ll never fall in love with but could never resist it in the end.


And I’m one of those girls who crossed their hearts and hoped to die… but in the end surrendered her heart… but I was the only one who figured out his story… history he kept deep inside.


Was it her fault that he became that man?

Was her decision in life affected him so much that he swore to revenge on every woman?

I don’t know her reasons why she did that but what hurts him most is, was, maybe the lack of explanation.

Maybe she thought it is for the best…

The financial cost worth the heartbreak… look at them now… both of them had realized their dreams because of your decision back years ago… but what you didn’t realize back then was the trauma that you brought to him..

You were the epitome of a perfect woman… the basis… the Mc Farland… the standard… that when he finally found a woman so much like you then it would be the woman of his dreams… the woman he’ll marry. But you ruined that image the moment he saw you chose the wrong decision and made the rest of his life different… your decision changed him… it even changed his name.


All you wanted was a bright future for them… all he wanted was a good example to help him carry on in this life.

You succeeded giving him that future and his living it now… but you failed in becoming the good example for him.

And he thinks every girl deserves to be treated as touch and go because you did it first.

And I feel like I’m obligated to change his views but I’m scared too…

He is scared that he might one day meet a woman like you and treat him the way you treated your men before.

He is scared to get hurt so he’s doing the hurting.

I’m scared, he’s scared… we’re both scared… and I blame it on the weather man.


And if only I’m not that scared rat I would hold you so tight even though that means you will hurt me.

That was her fault… It wasn’t every girls fault…


So I wait… waiting until you realize that I’m not her…

And if you could open up your mind a little wider… maybe you’ll understand why she did that… it’s all because she loves you… love is still the reason… love for you… more than herself… sacrificing her man for you… her image for you… and what else…

You just consider the outcome and not the intention.

If she can’t explain herself… I’m explaining her for you.

Stop hurting yourself…

Your prison is walking thru in this world all along… you better let somebody loves you… before it’s too late…

It’s a sad story… but it doesn’t mean you can never be happy.

When time comes… when you’re not scared anymore and and I’m brave enough to take chances again and accept your love… will you have the courage to admit that you love me too?

I pray for our hearts to be brave enough… to get intertwined…

So here I go again… writing your story… hoping that soon, your story will be mine too… two people with one story… our own happy shared story.



(The CIA who knows that I will dry soil finally greeted me a happy birthday a couple of days ago… thanks… this is dedicated to you)

CIA Knows I'll Dry Soil

I don't know why suddenly I just got interested about your past.

Thanks to the internet.
Now I've known that 2009 was a great year for you.

Because in that year... you met me. hahaha!!!

Isn't that great!!!

anyway, 2009 was a great year for you because a dream came true back then... because you finally got it... and so you met me...
So.. am I just the bonus?
Or was it really your destiny to have it so we'll meet each other?

Think about it.

But the question is... how are we now?

Did we grow?

All I know is that God's masterplan is beautiful.
So I'll just wait for tomorrow to unfold for who knows.

You're my Landon Carter in real world.
My Dawson Leery in my mind.
My Pacey Witter in real life.
And my Peter Pan in my heart.


Godbless us always. Amen.

Paralleled Rounds

Parallelism...
while you're in rounds...

And for your final question...
Do you believe that every Dawson has his Joey and every Joey has her Dawson?

My answer: then that would be a perfect world.


Dawson and Joey could be the perfect epitome of parallelism.
They stand side by side for eternity and always.
But that's it.
The sad thing about perfect parallel is that even eternity could not twist those lines to form a circle so they could connect and be together.
Saddest part... they stay that way.

Are we Dawson and Joey?
Are we the next set of parallel?

Could God lift a finger to twist our lines and finally form a circle? Because no matter how painful it is to get twisted by the hands of God... I think I could bear it... Just thinking about what could happen "if ever" makes the twisting bearable.

Destiny gave up once... I don't want it to give up again.

And just thinking about the twisting makes me realize that God started it already.

And it made me realize more further that you're more of my Pacey than Dawson.
Are you actually Pacey?
Because right now I'm confused.
Nope, actually I'm not.

Teddy is my Dawson and you are my Pacey.
But how long could you play the part of being Dawson before you could finally be Pacey?

I've been praying for you...
just like Jamie did to Landon... but these are movies and TV series... and we are the reality.

We don't hold the script.

Could you help me pray to our God to make a good twist in our script?
I really like you to be a part of it.
And it would be a blessed miracle if God will choose you to have the lead role.

Until then, you do your rounds and I'll be just right here in the parallel.


God bless us.

My Dawson.(My Pacey in disguise of Dawson)

My own personal kryptonite.