Autumn Tales

Today, as we celebrate Rizal's day, I would like to pay my tribute to the heroes of this pandemic (that we all have suffered from this year).

The Medical Frontliners.

Since the start of this global crisis, people stopped, operations stopped, jobs were ended, while the world keeps on rotating reminding us that life still goes on and forcing us to catch up with it while everyone was stuck at home.

Then we were able to adapt.

Funny how we are able to recognize someone we know even behind the mask and the face shield, even if we did not see them for a very long time.

Finally, we were able to survive Christmas after everything that happened.

And all because we have these heroes fighting constantly this battle. 

Rescuing everyone in need until they cannot rescue even their own selves. 

Keeping their fighting spirit until their own spirit was taken away from them.

Fighting for our lives until they cannot even fight for their own lives.

I am one of them.

And I have lost a lot of colleagues because of this pandemic.

I recently lost a friend (also a Medical Frontliner) just this week, because of this pandemic.

So there is no one better to dedicate this year's tribute but to these heroes.

To all the fallen ones...

I salute your fighting spirit!

Your death means a life was lived worthy.

Quiricada

(Autumn Tales For the Fallen Ones)

In the way ward streets

Busy and untidy

It was there I met

The man who taught me things.

He was old enough 

And knows too well

He used to drink and puff

But oh! He was my Shaibel.

I would run to him

Whenever I get caught

A fight or a whim

By bullies and sloths.

But it was only almost

A couple of years

That I forever lost

A friend, dear.

I don't want to believe

I swear I didn't.

But I fear I am not deceived

That he had his last breath.

In the way ward streets

Of my new found home

I had my last greet

To him and he's gone.

Fallen! Oh! The fallen ones!

It was Wednesday that we part

And it's only Tuesday and you're gone,

I even gave you a piece of art.

In the way ward streets,

Of autumn tales and setting suns,

I salute your fighting spirit

And all of the fallen ones.

Footnotes:

In memory of a fallen friend.

Another medical frontliner taken by this pandemic.

Footsteps

Did I came like the Grinch

On a Christmas eve?

I meant to give you gifts

And never leave.

But  I walked away 

Just like that.

Not that I don't care

I just can't handle math.

I can't dare see you 

Leaving that door.

So I walked on first,

My Footsteps on the floor.

Afternoon Blue tea on a cozy, almost-vacay mode, work hours.

We're ready for Christmas...

Cause we survived this year.

Thankful and blessed.

SeVEn YeaRs

Seven years

Of an apology 

That never came.

Maybe you fear,

Or you don't feel guilty

Or you're ashame.

Seven years

Of a sorry

That never came.

Maybe it's not clear

Or it is all blurry,

Or I'm just waiting in vain.

Seven years

And I'm happy

For I am no longer waiting for that apology so lame.

For I no longer fear

And I'm never guilty

Nor ashamed.

I lived with my...

Conscience clear,

A heart that is never empty,

And my soul full of lessons learned.

The Queen

And it all worth the pain.

Pain turns a princess into a warrior queen. 

That is why when we were young we wear the crown of our youth...

But as we grow old... 

We wear a much beautiful crown. The crown made out of our bruises and scars. 

That makes us more worthy to be called beautiful. 

That makes us worthy to be called a queen.

Because we proved ourselves worthy of our own empire. 

After all, 

No one wants a weak queen.

A queen is always strong.

And Strong is always Beautiful.♥️ 

Strong coffee.

Good music.

Paperworks.

And Cute loafers.

All in a day's work.

Isn't it good...

Norwegian wood.

Toffee Nut

Since the start of this year... 

With the pandemic embracing our world...

Never underestimate the power of coffee.

This is actually my first time to dine out of the house this year due to lockdown issues and too much work at the hospital.

While watching "The Trial of Chicago 7"... 

All I could think of is the book of Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird

I have always found self-righteous people to be obsessed with self, and seldom righteous.

-MICHAEL FAUDET

I was invited by the Urban Skyscapes for my photo to get featured on their page.

This is my entry.

my arms grew tired

from constantly reaching so i wrapped them around myself and allowed them to rest...

- NamE bowL

Spotify just wrapped up my 2020 hit list for me... 

Here it goes...

Augustana for the win... Again.

Late Elegies

Could you give me peace...

With all my late elegies?

For you are the best laws,

Even with all your flaws,

That I never had...

And will never have.

So may I find peace...

With these late elegies.

Till I find the missing piece

Of the life of tragedies.

And with all the unfolding mysteries...

I will be at peace...

Waiting for my final breeze.

With my own elegies.

The Greenhouse Effect

If there is one thing brighter than the sunshine...

Then it is tomorrow.

But if there is one thing brighter than tomorrow...

Then I say...

It is your SMILE.

So full of hope.

So warm and so contagious.

If there's one thing I would like to tell you if I could talk to you again... (And I wish I could, though it wouldn't be possible anymore) is that... I always consider you as my second Dad. 

I'm sorry I was never there.

I'm sorry I didn't thank you enough.

I'm sorry I was not the one.

I miss our small talks that would go on from afternoons up to sunsets... Sometimes it goes beyond it.

I'm always entertained by your stories.

Always feel special whenever I passed by your house and you would invite me inside your home and your wife - Ermats, will prepare some snacks. Then we'll talk just about everything and anything .

Those conversations meant a lot to me.

Didn't I once said that you were like the sunset...

Old but beautiful...

Because as sunset is to a day done...

Yours is a life lived.

Thank you for for all the advises and memories.

Invisible String

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs.

Were there clues I didn't see?

And isn't it just so pretty to think,

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me.

Time, mystical time

Cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine.

Were there clues I didn't see?

And isn't it just so pretty to think,

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me.

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar.

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire.

Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons.

One single thread of gold tied me to you.

Time, wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies.

And it's cool, baby, with me

And isn't it just so pretty to think,

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me.

Morning coffee with a Christmas Vibe

For the weekend.

Queen

I always wear my crown...

I have to...

I am a Queen.

That is Enough

So what's the point of looking for an answer then?"

We don't look for an answer, we accept, and then life becomes much more intense, much more brilliant, because we understand that each minute, each step that we take, has a meaning that goes far beyond us as individuals. We realize that somewhere in time and space this question does have an answer. We realize that there is a reason for us being here, and for us that is enough.

Pride and prejudice...

Aren't we all are... 

Both...

In so many ways.

...because all stories are meant to be told.

Joey Potter

I remember that day when I thought that love was sick

That day when I wore that red lipstick

Was also the day I believed that love is brave

When you told me that I look great.

Though I still want to climb that ladder up to your window

The way I run to my boat while you glance below

But I'm no longer that girl from the other side of the creek

Too tall and almost a geek

For I've learned and now I know better

Than the girl who dreamed that she's Joey Potter.

I remember that day when I started believing Dawson

But the real Pacey just came along

The day I believed that love is indeed strong

But you have to walk away if you don't belong.

So now I sing the old song

About the young I was

About the dream I once longed

About the tale of us.

A Thousand Angels

And I could hear a thousand angels singing

Whenever I look into your eyes

I could see a thousand shooting stars falling

Whenever you looked back into mine

But who needs a shooting star

For a wish to come true

When what we have is a promise

As beautiful as a rainbow

No matter how hard the rain is

It will be beautiful as the rainbow.

Bright Tomorrows

The ring is gone 

But I still feel how it wrapped around my finger

So perfectly

Like we were so meant to be.

But love has its own story

Things about bitter pasts

And bright tomorrows

Aimed by Cupid's arrow.

When someone disrespects you or yells at you, don't yell back. 

Your silence DOESN'T mean you're intimidated.

It DOESN'T mean they are superior.

It only shows that you have respect to yourself.

For Respect is something you give because you have it in you.

After all...

You cannot impart something you don't even have.

We alone can make our own world colourful.

So I am colouring mine.

Artificial Lights

If there's one advise that I would like to share to everyone in this time of pandemic is that...

Sure we must always look at the brighter side of life...

But if you CAN'T FIND THE BRIGHTER SIDE...

THEN YOU SHOULD MAKE ONE FOR YOURSELF.

CREATE YOUR OWN BRIGHT SIDE.

CREATE YOUR OWN ARTIFICIAL LIGHT.

Freshman Maladies

I think one of the many maladies if you came from a very prestigious institution is that people expect too much from you even though you're just a freshman.

I don't mind, though.

"You must live, you must fail, because one day it's going to be a part of you personal story that would inspire others to do what you did. So go get those dreams. " - ♥️

Life is your Art.

An open, aware heart is your camera.

A oneness with your world is your film.

Your bright eyes, your easy smile is your museum." 

- Ansel Adams

If you expect the world to be fair with you because you're fair, you're fooling yourself.

That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn't eat him.

Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of. 

Those who catch it never try to get better, 

and those who suffer do not wish to be cured.

A BAD

ATTITUDE IS LIKE A FLAT

TIRE: 

YOU CAN'T GO

ANYWHERE

UNTIL YOU

CHANGE IT.

I TS NOT ABOUT GIVING UP ITS ABOUT KNOWING WHEN YOU LOSE ! - TMR

You can be afraid of not getting what you want, but you can also be afraid of getting what you want because then you'll have something to lose. Just go for it. Life isn't about forever, it's about living to our fullest potential while we're here.

-DOE ZANTAMATA-

There is a difference between loyalty and bondage. 

There is a difference between faithfulness and fearfulness. 

There is a difference between being devoted and being dominated. 

The difference is called freedom, and it is all the difference in the world.

-BRYANT MCGILL-

He who sends the storm steers the vessel.

-Thomas Adams-

"The wisest of angels... admit that what they know is as nothing compared to what they do not know.”

—Emanuel Swedenborg

"Man searches for courage in drink, but it is not courage that  he finds, it is fear that he loses.

A drunken man may step off a cliff.

That does not make him brave, just forgetful.”

Mitch Albom - The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto

YOU WERE GIVEN  THIS LIFE  BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE IT.

The difference between a master and a beginner is that...

The master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried.

Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult.

You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

You can't keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you're still in hell.

Hope is a beautiful thing, but it becomes a prison when our own hope sits in the hands of someone else's desire to choose, change or show up for us.

-Mark Groves-

No tree,

it is said,

can grow to heaven

unless its roots

reach down to hell

- C.G. Jung

"I was never insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched."

- Edgar Allan Poe-

Maybe it's not about the HAPPY ENDING. Maybe it's about the story.

No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind. - TS

You are a different person to different people.

Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Flawless to your lover. Stranger to some. Insecure to others. The best to your friend. The worst to your enemy. Someone to one. The one to another. Smart to a few. Daring to others. Difficult to a lot. Unknown to the rest.

Who you are is too vast to be classified by the state of your attitude, or categorized by the opinions of others.

How others see you isn't as important as how you see yourself!

So love & accept the person you are.

- Musannif-

No great artist ever sees things as they really are. 

If he did, he would cease to be an artist."

-Oscar Wilde-

BE WHO YOU NEEDED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER.

You Moved On

You moved on

before the dust could settle.

So fast

not even a single strand

of silver cobweb

was left behind

to hold onto.

No spider could spin

a web that quickly

- MICHAEL FAUDET -

The Love Song

A poet once wrote a love song and it was beautiful. And he made many copies of it, and sent them to his friends and his acquaintances, both men and women, and even to a young woman whom he had met but once, who lived beyond the mountains.

And in a day or two a messenger came from the young woman bringing a letter. And in the letter she said, "Let me assure you, 1 am deeply touched by the love song that you have written to me. Come now, and see my father and my mother, and we shall make arrangements for the betrothal.

And the poet answered the letter, and he said to her, "My friend, it was but a song of love out of a poet's heart, sung by every man to every woman.

And she wrote again to him saying, "Hypocrite and liar in words! From this day unto my coffin-day I shall hate all poets for your sake.

If you write about love,

They might say that you're in love. 

And if you write about heartbreak, 

They might say that you're heartbroken.

If you write about happiness, 

They might wonder why you're happy.

And if you write about sadness, 

They might pretend like they didn't read it. 

If you write about loss, 

They might pity you. 

And if you speak the truth, 

They might criticize you. 

But don't you ever let what people think stop you from expressing yourself.

So, let it be that you're in love. 

Haven't they been? 

Let it be that you've been heartbroken. 

Who's not?

Let it be that you're happy or sad. 

Isn't it normal? 

Let it be that you've lost. 

We've all lost.

Let your soul

Shine through your words.

-Najwa Zebian-

THE HUMAN SEASONS

FOUR Seasons fill the measure of the year; 

There are four seasons in the mind of Man: 

He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear 

Takes in all beauty with an easy span:

He has his Summer, when luxuriously 

Spring's honey'd cud of youthful thought he loves 

To ruminate, and by such dreaming high 

Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves

His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings 

He furleth close, contented so to look 

On mists in idleness—to let fair things 

Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook:

He has his Winter too of pale misfeature, 

Or else he would forgo his mortal nature.

J. KEATS

If you can't change your mind, then you're not using it.

-Bashar-

I just got my 2021 SB Journal today...

No judgement please...

I have my reasons...

We all have our own reasons.

So don't ask...

It is called TRADITION.

The 90's Anthem

So Netflix is finally streaming the 90's ultimate teen drama anthem - Dawson's Creek, and yeah, I'm binging on it right now.

If my counting serves me right, it's my 5th time rewatching this series. Don't count the first time when the show was still on the run, that was way back in my early years in highschool.

And it's really nostalgic how those lost years came back again to me, how I would be rushing my homework so I could watch it on TV by 8pm every tuesday on Studio 23. How on the next day, we'll be all excited to go to school because, yeah, we'll be talking about Dawson and Pacey. How we would mimic Joey's blouse best way we can, act like we're Joey, the ultimate dream girl of the 90's. How we hated Jenny at the start and ended up loving her the way we love the other 3. How I started to missed them when I started college. Basically, my highschool wouldn't be so complete without them.

I missed Capeside.

Yeah, and so, you really can't blame me to binge again on it.

I told yah...

It is the 90'S ULTIMATE TEEN DRAMA ANTHEM.

If you were given an "OR" as an option, make it an "AND".

Strange Friends

Such a sad realization...

Knowing that we're good friends...

But I can't even say hi

On your day.

JEWEL

It's four in the afternoon

I'm on a flight leaving L.A.

Trying to think about my life

My youth scattered along the highway

Hotel rooms and headlines

I've made a living with a song

Just a guitar as my companion

Wanting desperately to belong

Fame is filled with spoiled children

They grow fat on fantasy

I guess that's why I'm leaving

I crave reality

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland

Goodbye yellow brick road

There is a difference between dreaming and pretending

I did not find paradise

It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching

For what was missing in my life

I'm embarrassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche

I hit the bottom when I reached the top

I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart

I thought you had to love me

You did not

Yes a heart can hallucinate

If it's completely starved for love

Can even make monsters seem like

Angels from above

You forged my love like a weapon

And turned it against me like a knife

You broke my last heart-string

But you opened up my eyes

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland

Goodbye yellow brick road

There is a difference between dreaming and pretending

That was not love in your eyes

It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting

What was missing in my life

Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life

Pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie

Forgetting what you are

Seeing for what you've been told

And growing up is not the absence of dreaming

It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold

And the ones that you've been sold

Well, truth is stranger than fiction

And this is my chance to get it right

Life is much better without all of your pretty lies

So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland

You can keep your yellow brick road

Cause there is a difference between dreaming and pretending

That was not love in your eyes

It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting

It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wishing

That you were what was missing from my life...

🎶🎶 Oh and I've got all that I need

Right here in the passenger seat...🎶

Road To The Masters

            I always believed that life is a continuous learning process that is why, despite of too much pressure in handling two sections in my work, I still pursued to take Master’s Degree in Public Health. I believe that there is still so much to learn from school and I always wanted to become an academe. I wanted to teach. I wanted to teach because I believe that knowledge is useless if not imparted to others. Knowledge is useless if not shared to everyone and applied in our daily lives. And in order to impart more knowledge, I must learn first. I must learn the ways on how to reach out and to understand different people, because teaching is useless if you lack the skills in communication. In teaching, you have to understand your people, you have to speak their language so they can understand you, and thus, you can impart your knowledge, hence, they will learn.

            I remember when I was in college, my psychology professor once asked me – “If you could change the world, where will you stand?”, and I answered – “if I could change the world, I will stand in the minds of the people because I cannot change the world alone, I have to convince a lot of people, I have to educate  them, I have to win their trust for them to believe in me, and only then the world will be changed.” After all these years, I still hold on with my answer that in order to make a difference we must impart our knowledge, and little by little, people will learn.

            So, this is just another step towards my goal in teaching. I must learn first, and learn more, so I could impart more. And hopefully one day, someday, finally, I will be able to stand in front of my students, teaching what the Institute of Community and Family Health, Inc. imparted to me.

The fourth coffee for today...

While doing my lecture for work and my research for my class... All at the same time.

When cramming is Life 😭

Something to Lennon

IMAGINE the world if you were not born.

Sound without music.

Words but not lyrics.

Rhymes short for poems.

Open Doors

For we never really get tired of dreaming...

We don't make mistakes...

We just fall.

And fall again...

Just after we stand again.

We fall to know

That it is different to be down.

And we keep on falling...

Over and over again.

But...we don't make mistakes...

We just fall.

We never mind the pain.

We are all after the gain.

Wounded hearts,

Broken souls.

But we try again.

Jump again.

And fall...

Fall...

Fall...

But...

No, we don't make mistakes...

We just fall.

 I always believe that...

You cannot trade peace of mind with money or gold.

The Story of a Poetry

You and I

Is a story

Never gets old

But never gets told

Guess it is...

A poetry.

If you don't know where to stand...

A leap of faith may do.

Bracelet Charms

When you encounter

Something so rare

Don't ever dare

To miss your chance

To risk and dance

For it might be just once

In a lifetime.

Might slip like slimes

In your palms

Chances dancing

Chances slipping

Never coming

Back in your arms

Keep it like your bracelet charms

To keep you warm.

BabEL

You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else...

To the Moon and Neptune

It doesn't really matter

Wherever you wander

Cause I love you to the moon

And even to the Neptune.

And my heart cannot beat forever

But maybe until the Arctic celebrates summer

And Mercury starts their Autumn

And Christmas be on June.

But time is just a number

It could fade like letters on a paper

Flowers die and bloom

Like the sunset in the afternoon.

Rise of the Fallen

Even the strongest of men shall fall...

But only the brave ones shall rise back again.

For it takes courage to get up again 

Once you've fallen.

The World of Babel

We all live in a world of Babel.

We speak in different tongues.

Some even have sharp ones,

Enough to cut your soul.

But the saddest thing

In the world of Babel,

Is when you speak the language

That even your kin

Cannot understand.

P.s. More than just a daughter...

I am also a mother.

And if I'm dead to you, 

Why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet. - T.S.

I don't know how heaven looks...

But I'm pretty sure it feels like...

Being wrapped inside your arms.

The Eye of the Beholder

Either you see it as a dirty damp on the pavement...

Or you see it as a mirror reflecting the trees and the sky.

🎶We're after the same rainbow's end...🌈

EpiloguE

I promise...

No matter how crazy the world gets...

We'll have our happy ending.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain... 

Ctto 😊

Of Meaningless Poetry

It is when poetry

Becomes meaningless

And music

Goes out of tune...

There I go searching...

For you.

The Side of the Circle

The triangle has 3 sides, the square has 4, and the pentagon has 5 and so on… 

 Ever wonder how and why did the circle lose its side? It was a question that popped up in my mind and so I tried my best to answer myself. 

Here’s my thought…

 A long time ago the circle has two sides… or maybe we can call it points. 

The circle has two points. 

But these two points can never be together. 

So he cried unto God. 

God said – “what are you willing to give up so that those points could be together?” 

The circle said – “I am willing to give up my sides, my points, my views my straight line. 

I am willing to be curved even though it is painful to be bent just for these points to be together, to be connected forever.” 

 And God said – “you will lose everything for eternity and eternity will be yours without anything.” 

 The circle then lose its side, the 2 points became connected and it became round. 

And so, ergo, the legend of the circle.

 You see, in life, there will come a time that we would be willing to give everything we had, our fame, our career, our life, our own point of views, our pride just to be connected… just to be eternally connected. 

 ‘For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Matthew 16:26 (KJV)

Music Weather

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Sun kissed

Moon eclipse

Bloodthirst

Red lips

I came out rushing

Red blushing

Grey brushin'

On my fingertips

Unicorns

Rainbow horns

Ice cream on cones

Bloody thorns

I came out messing

Almost everything

Chaos rising

In my bones

And you made them all

Fall, fall, fall...

But you let them all

Fall, fall, fall...

Like a trap

Fancy wrapped

I almost got caught

Your schemes I bought

And you said your intentions

That you just want my attention

All those little favors

Of the boy who cried wolf

And it was too fairy

Til it became scary

Easter bunny

Carrying honey

And I came out thinking

Almost like crying

Scars deepening

Didn't I saw it coming...

And you made them all

Fall, fall, fall...

But you let them all

Fall, fall, fall...

Like a trap

Fancy wrapped

I almost got caught

Your schemes I bought

And you said your intentions

That you just want my attention

All those little favors

Of the boy who cried wolf

Trivial

Did you know?...

My very first crush was Jason David Frank known as Tommy Oliver or the Green Ranger of Power Rangers.

That was way... way back when I was still in 4th grade. 😊💕

Folklore

It's good Taylor is back to her roots...

More of the country side than pop.

Folklore is a great album with lots of story-telling vibe.

Since her pop shift in 1989, I seldom listen to her.

But with her new Folklore now...

I'm streaming it all the time since the released. 👍👍👏

Utopia

It is when we watch 

The sunset and the sunrise

Together...

I would not ask for more.

I had reached the heavens

Even before I die.

Cause when you're by my side

The world becomes

A paradise.