The Moment I Knew You Cry:Part 2
I could hardly remember the last time I wrote a prose, a poem, or a song. It was such a bygone since I wrote my last journal either. I'm so much engaged with my work lately that I seldom have the time to reflect about the things that's going on with my life. They call me workaholic in our workplace for spending 16 hours a day at work leaving the other 8 hours just to take a nap and then shower then back to work again. I suddenly feel the dramatic withering of my health right now. Even at my very young age, I'm considering death already. I'm not trying to exaggerate things nor am I trying to scare anybody... it is simply what I feel.
I'm starting to wonder how many people would actually attend my funeral. Will they be too busy to have even just an ample time to drop by on my last touch on earth? But what moves me more than anything else is the fact that, how many lives have I touched here on earth? It was for me the ultimate goal of living. To touch and make a difference to somebody's life like what Jesus did when He walked here on earth. I always say that I have led a wonderful life and I mean it, though. I know that, even though I have made a lot of mistakes, I never once regret any of them because I am who I am right now because of them. But though I have led a wonderful life, I know I'm missing something real. I have never loved yet. No one has ever catch my breath and leave me dancing in trance. I wonder if love is for everybody or just for some lucky individuals out there... then maybe... I'm out of luck. I maybe blessed with so many things in life but that never changed even just a bit of that mere fact.
How do you respond when everything just simply goes your way. Suddenly my dreams are so tangible. Just recently, I was able to purchase my own disc player and just a couple of months ago I just bought my new guitar. Those were merely simple things that I bet not everybody could appreciate such... but I do. I love simple things in life because those are the closest to human being... closest to the soul. But though I could appreciate the simplest thing the world could offer, still I'm in search for something real, something tangible close enough to heaven. I feel like the exact epitome of a heart so scared to be broken, hence, never learned to love, a soul so scared to die, hence, never learned to live. In my dying moment, perhaps, I won't have regrets, and still would say that I have led a wonderful life and I would be happy with my dazzling memories playing all over my nostalgic reveries, but I would be sure of one great thing... I'm missing something simply great.
I could no longer picture myself more than you could picture someone you never knew. It was like a stranger you were looking for in a faceless crowd.
For a moment, I come to that sinking realization that everything is vain.
So my mind once again popped you up again...
"You were always the cold one... but I was never that sure...
In places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside.
Was then that I realize that forever was in your eyes...
I wanted to know you..."
P.S. Just saw the movie Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer just a while ago... and I think everything is feeding me with one lesson... "We can always choose"... you know... just like what Peter Parker said in his own story. And yeah!... another lesson " Never trust someone you knew you can never trust"... don't be silly!
P.P.S. Next Feature: FRESHMEN
I'm starting to wonder how many people would actually attend my funeral. Will they be too busy to have even just an ample time to drop by on my last touch on earth? But what moves me more than anything else is the fact that, how many lives have I touched here on earth? It was for me the ultimate goal of living. To touch and make a difference to somebody's life like what Jesus did when He walked here on earth. I always say that I have led a wonderful life and I mean it, though. I know that, even though I have made a lot of mistakes, I never once regret any of them because I am who I am right now because of them. But though I have led a wonderful life, I know I'm missing something real. I have never loved yet. No one has ever catch my breath and leave me dancing in trance. I wonder if love is for everybody or just for some lucky individuals out there... then maybe... I'm out of luck. I maybe blessed with so many things in life but that never changed even just a bit of that mere fact.
How do you respond when everything just simply goes your way. Suddenly my dreams are so tangible. Just recently, I was able to purchase my own disc player and just a couple of months ago I just bought my new guitar. Those were merely simple things that I bet not everybody could appreciate such... but I do. I love simple things in life because those are the closest to human being... closest to the soul. But though I could appreciate the simplest thing the world could offer, still I'm in search for something real, something tangible close enough to heaven. I feel like the exact epitome of a heart so scared to be broken, hence, never learned to love, a soul so scared to die, hence, never learned to live. In my dying moment, perhaps, I won't have regrets, and still would say that I have led a wonderful life and I would be happy with my dazzling memories playing all over my nostalgic reveries, but I would be sure of one great thing... I'm missing something simply great.
I could no longer picture myself more than you could picture someone you never knew. It was like a stranger you were looking for in a faceless crowd.
For a moment, I come to that sinking realization that everything is vain.
So my mind once again popped you up again...
"You were always the cold one... but I was never that sure...
In places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside.
Was then that I realize that forever was in your eyes...
I wanted to know you..."
P.S. Just saw the movie Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer just a while ago... and I think everything is feeding me with one lesson... "We can always choose"... you know... just like what Peter Parker said in his own story. And yeah!... another lesson " Never trust someone you knew you can never trust"... don't be silly!
P.P.S. Next Feature: FRESHMEN