I'm writing this journal right now without anything to say. I don't even know where in the world did I get it's title... But surely I agree with it. Dream is a goal, an ambition, something that make us strive with all our efforts. But where did it all started? How come we realize that somehow, someday we wanted to be like what we are picturing in our frame of mind?
Certainly, when we were younger... Much younger than today, our dreams are quite different. Just like me, when I was about 3 years old, all I wanted to be then was to be a cook, nothing more and nothing less. But when I was already 7 years old, I started dreaming of becoming a doctor - a pediatrician or a psychiatrist someday... Why did I suddenly shift my course of ambition?... Because at my tender age of 7, I entered the dark night time of my life. My dad got sick then, he was a sort of a dying man but striving to survive in the battle of emotions and mind of his own... He had a nervous breakdown. In the midst of hopelessness but faithfulness of my mom, I still suffered a deep anguish within me asking why is this happening right now when God knows I'm not ready yet to enter the night phase of my life - but then reality bites! Sometimes late at night, I could hear my mother crying in deep pain because of the sort of a half-tragedy story that's happening in our lives, but then I know that I'm helpless, I don't have the matured words to say to comfort her, all I can do was to hear my mom and dad talk about our finances - (because all our savings were lost due to hospital bill) late at night - (they usually talk about our family problems late at night so that we (me and my bros) won't hear them... But then I'm a wise kid, pretending to be past asleep, but then I'm sneaking!). But deep within me was the fury of the bitter taste of reality as if the two worlds of a childhood immaturity and the world of bitter reality are ranging their forces against me at the middle and I don't know where to go. The childhood world was calling me and I deserve to be there, but then the reality world was trying to submerge me about the life we are facing at that time, its painful... But then I chose to be drowned by that reality cause I know God will always be there for me - as my mom always say! At that time, the anguish turned into a dream of becoming a doctor, a psychiatrist, and the goal was to help those people like my dad to recover.
When my dad recovered and was back on track, I was so happy but this time I can't go back to my childhood world, because you can always look back but can't go back, and I don't like to go back either. By that time, my dad always try to convince me of becoming a pediatrician - it was his dream for me!
Years passed by, by God's faithfulness, I'll soon be marching on the aisle... 6 months to go and I'll be graduating... No! I'm not a doctor yet! I'm still quite far from that total realization of the yonder dream I had, but I know I'm halfway there. I'm about to finish my pre-medical course (BS Medical Technology) and soon - by God's faithfulness and by the name of His promise... You'll see me as the person I dreamed and planned to be - a doctor!
The day is coming soon, before it was the night, and between night and day... There lies the dream!...
