Learning The Hard Way

Today is actually the last day...

I guess I'm learning... I reckon so.



If that is to compare my previous reactions regarding such the same matters before... now, I can actually handle things better... far better actually.




God has a reason why He kept on bugging me before with such the same situation... it is because, though I have been through so many tests... still, I haven't learned a thing before. But now it is a different thing, though. Finally I'm in progress... I have learned and I'm moving on.



I'm still human capable of being hurt but I won't attach myself too much to the hurting. I'm done with so much poignant and bitter reveries. It is time to finally be numb with the situation and wear a big smile that would tell everyone that I don't care about anything... I don't give a damn.



Anyway, Thank you to the one I thought would be the new Mc Farland.
Thank you also to the other one who I thought will start... but it ended even before it has begun.
To everyone who made my good days much brighter and my shit days atleast bearable.



I won't forget ALL of you!
God Bless!
Ciao!

High (Part 3)

"... These are my journals back in highschool"

Still

Can two walk together unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)… I really don’t think so. Two people can never be together unless they agreed to stay together.



Love always matters for two different people for them to be with each other. As two people enter the sacred world of marriage, the thought of having a dream come true sometimes turns out to be a living nightmare and it bamboozles the anatomy of that two individual for their placid relationship becomes a tidal wave. The fairness that they once knew is now on the verge of betting ten thousand to ten.



Well, in so many ways, I do really feel lucky for my parent… I’m probably the luckiest girl on earth… no sarcasm on that.



For so many years of ups and downs and though they flawed in so many ways, still they are together. Ever since I was a kid, never in a chance that my parents drew near on the verge of separation. Of course, though, sometimes, through some unavoidable circumstances they misunderstood each other, but that only made their love stronger, deeper, and sweeter.



Faithfulness is one thing that I admire most with my dad. I have that full confidence to say that my mom is the only woman in my dad’s life. I can’t remember any single time that my dad did something unfaithful with my mom. He is as faithful as no one could imagine and that makes him the best dad for me. And I guess, every woman would have wanted to marry such man. You go dad!



Patience is for my mom. I can’t exactly describe her never ending patience despite the numerous nerve-racking things that is happening around us… she patiently overcomes them all. She is a silent fighter. Yeah, that is the word to describe her.



Yes, this couple made me feel so special for having them. As I look into their eyes, I could see that love still conquers their hearts… after all those years.



I believe that marrying the person you love is the best decision you can make out of love. You know, it is very wonderful to think that when you get old and wrinkles start to appear on your face, when your hair is already grey and it is thinning and you lose a lot whenever you brush your fingers on your almost bare scalp, when people will only look at you and all they could notice is you old age… STILL… there is that one person who will look at you and still see in you how you look like when you were so much younger. And though those lines on your face are much deeper now, you still look pretty in his eyes. That is the art of marriage… (I hope you get the picture).



There’s really no good explanation on what love is all about. We are not even sure if what we used to know is real for no one wrote this book of love that we used to know. There’s no such thing as holding on and letting go because if two people love each other, they will overcome everything together and there should be no single thought of letting go, but if only one is in love and the other is not… what’s the use of holding on when you don’t even know what you’re fighting for, you can’t fight for something you don’t even own… you can fight FOR something when that something is the one you are fighting. I hope you get the picture.



As sun shines and sets each day, another day is over; every minute in this life brings us closer to fate. The way we see things, the way we see people now, they’ll soon never be seen again. There’s no such thing as two chance at the same river. But still, there’s one thing that matters forever and a day and more and that is STILL…

The Story Behind The Tale Of Robert In Mt. Ternff Park

Last night was a sort of a reunion and at the same time a goodbye.

I finally let go of my most precious "things" but that don't mean I feel bad about it for the mere fact that it was actually a promise back six years ago. Last night, it was fulfilled... I kept my promise. And for the fact that I actually gave it to one of my most trusted friend... I know she will take good care of it because she knows how much those things means to me. It was like my life since highschool and giving it to her was like giving a piece of my entire life to her as well.

But no turning back... I know better things will come ahead.

P.S. Nothing much has changed... we are still that same old good and silly friends. I know you (U5&S8) will always be my best buddies in the world. Thank you for the friendship I know will last for eternity.

God bless You All!!!

The Jaguar Paw

Saw the movie “Apocalypto” just last night, and though it was an extremely brutal and annoying movie, still, I have my two thumbs up for Mel Gibson for such a work of art.



Well, apart from the fact that it was indeed a great movie – that is to my reckoning, though. I’ve learned a lot of good lessons from that movie. Well some of those lessons I’m talking about are just mere lessons I made on my own, which perhaps you will find it silly, but then again, it is my post – that is to sound – mind your own business!... haha!



So here’s my list of some of the lessons I’ve learned from the movie “Apocalypto” (Notice the word I carefully added – “some”, that is because there are still a lot of lessons to learn from that movie but in a way or another, I was not able to notice by myself).



1. Adrenalin is faster than fear.
· I noticed that, though “He” – the main actor (don’t ask me for the name, I don’t remember it already) was badly wounded but still he got the strength to run away from his enemies… because of fear… and because of the fact that it is important for him to survive that battle.
2. Fear is a kind of disease, a sickness that once you acquire; it will eat you up from within.
3. Man is an empty hole… he will never be full.
4. Fathers should always be the rock of the family to stand.
5. Fathers should never let their sons see them weak… even in the face of death… because sons will live their manhood the way they saw it through their fathers.
6. The bravest people on earth are not those people who are not afraid to die but those who never shed a tear even in the face of a dying loved one… which is far harder and painful that the death itself.
7. Never let a tear fall from your eyes in front of your enemies… you’re giving them your pride and blessing them with happiness.
8. Keep your promise.
9. God is always good even to those who do not believe in Him.
· This last one in my list is my favorite. If you will notice from that movie, those people were a bunch of pagans, they do not believe in God – I mean God, the real God and not those gods like Kukulkan or whatever names they have! Even the main actor does not believe in the “Real” God either, but notice the twist of fate in his life. He was so blessed that in the midst of death he survived. That made me realize that my last statement in my list is indeed true.




Anyway… enough of my crap for now…


P.S. Can I talk about the weather?... Oh! Why I bet there’s not a single cloud in the whole sky today. But it is cozy out there.


Ciao!

ThE OtHeR YoU

TrY tO sEe WhAt'S iN tHeRe In ThE DaRk

MaYbE ThErE's A mOnStEr

Or MaYbE iTs ThE MoOn AnD aLL tHoSe WoNdErFuL StArs TwiNkLiNg.

TrY tO sEe WhAt'S iNsidE oF yOu

MaYbE iTs FuRy

Or MaYbE jUsT a WeEpiNg AnGeL LoNg BeEn FoRgOtTeN.

TrY tO rEdiScOvEr YoUrSeLf

No OnE kNoWs yOu CoMpLeTeLy ThAn ThAt oLdEsT fRiEnD yOu aLwAyS CoUnT oN...

ThAt iS YoU...

ThE OtHeR YoU.

MiRaCLe iS nOt JuSt SiMpLy An AnSwErEd PrAyEr...

SoMeTiMes, ThE FrUsTrAtiOn Of NoT CLaiMiNg iT iS a MiRaCLe iTseLf.

Today Is Another History

Today is actually the 2nd year anniversary of my blog. And since, last year I was not able to celebrate this big event (for me) due to inevitable busy schedule and pressure of anticipation, I wouldn’t want to miss it again. So to make it up for the last year’s forgotten day (um… not actually “forgotten” but just a sort of “ignored” day) I would like to make this post a sort of a tribute to the history of my blog.

So how did it all started? It was actually a sort of a destiny. Yes, I call it a destiny. It all started the same date as today back two years ago. I was just surfing the net without any particular reason. It was just a simple act of being a bum since my internship had just begun and I was dying to unwind from my toxicity at the hospital. Suddenly, a blog popped up on my screen. I was obviously oblivious about this thing called “blog”, so I hacked that anonymous blog and finally realize that I’m actually badly needing one, since my room was a total chaos with all those worn-out papers of my journals back hundred thousand years ago… haha! Seriously, it was a mess, since I started writing at my very young age, so I’m piled up with all those papers and notebooks. I even dumped some of them since my cabinet was already suffering from “withdrawal syndrome” secondary to “paper overload” (back then).

So there goes the creation of my blog. I started “re”-typing my old journals, poetries, and songs and at the same time posting new entries. But until now, I still have those worn-out papers and notebooks since my schedule would not allow me to have the time to post them all.

I don’t really consider publicity in my blog. I don’t care if no one actually reads my posts. I just need space for my writings. That’s all!

During the time I created my blog, I was also a new member of friendster.com. In case you don’t know, I was only forced to create a profile at friendster.com since I was trying to reach out to a long lost “classmate” (in Algebra). There is actually a part on the friendster profile where you have to describe yourself. Since I don’t want to sound “too much or too little” about myself. I just linked my blog page, since – where can you be more honest than in your own blog… cause it is where you pour your inert emotions – ayt?
But honestly, it has nothing to do with publicity.

So alright folks! That’s the history of my blog.

And to the one who owns the blog that popped up on my screen back two years ago, I would like to thank YOU for introducing the blogger world to me. And SORRY because I was not able to get your name, thus, I could never acknowledge YOU… but then, God bless YOU.

The Devil Wears White... Not Prada!

Another day to go through. It has been almost a year since she landed on her dream job and now she suddenly realized that this whole dream in reality has become a living nightmare. She cannot wake up because she’s not asleep. What is happening around her is real and all she could ever do is to take what life has to feed her. She used to pray a lot but now she seldom read the bible. She has become an epitome of a once a fresh flower but now rotten, though she didn’t mean to,



Her work requires patience, cheerfulness and all those virtues that everybody call moral and beautiful. But her colleagues and her boss are not really like that. Her friends warned her even before she accepted her job that she should look for some other jobs out there because they know exactly the plague that has intoxicated the every corners of her work place. But she thought she knew better. The world she wanted to change changed her.



She was once a sweet, loving girl who appreciates everything. And to swear the truth, she never utters bad words even in her quiet mind. She is as pure as no one could ever imagine. But pollution around her made her bitter and now, all she could ever feel inside her is the fury of madness and angst that has long been denied. She evolved from a sweet, innocent creature to a green-eyed monster.



Reality check, though. She had no one to turn to but her long lost God who used to be her best friend but now a complete stranger to her. How did she became a stranger in her own home is a question she did not intend to create but it came out naturally.



So like a sheep that was once lost and was now found by her shepherd, she lay down and asked: “How come?”



Like a broken angel who marched down to hell just to glimpse again the gates of heaven, she is tired, but in that moment of unknown serenity in the arms of her saviour, her heart is pounding in joy.



The master said: “Let me tell you the tale of water. There was once a good little water-boy that was placed inside a freezer and so he became an ice. This water became so cold, numb and hard. By then, that little ice was placed out of the freezer and outside he met again his long been forgotten family of waters. There he saw his old grandfather inside a big pitcher looking very very sad. The grandfather asked what happened to his little boy who was once sweet and loving. The ice said… “Well, I’m no longer a water. I’m already an ice; I’m tougher, stronger, and harder.”

The grandfather’s tears started to well in his old wise eyes and said to his grandson: “But you’re no longer sweet and caring little boy, you became so numb and heartless. I understand. Your environment inside the freezer must have changed you. It is cold there, I know, and lonelier than the cold itself is the hostile ground your standing. But always remember that even though you have become what you have become, you will always be a water to me, you will always be my grandson. Nothing will change that. I still love you.”



Suddenly the little ice melted and became a water again. The grandfather smiled because he knows nothing has changed.



“Nice story” she uttered to the master. “But I’m sorry… the devil wears white and not Prada. And my job has changed me and I do wear white now, too. Too late for me. I can no longer melt like that little ice in your story.”



She woke up… it was just a dream with the master. Feeling guilty for the dream… but she can do nothing but go again to her job wearing white.



The heaven sent job is now a hell.



P.S. Never get tried of being a good person even though the whole world sucks.

For The Nth Time

I've been through this a million times already but still, I haven't learned a thing. I've been through a lot of goodbyes already but still I haven't learned to let go and and move on. It is sad to say goodbye but it is sadder to realize that you'll never see that same person again, and the saddest part of all is when you begin to miss that person but you know to yourself that the only way to see that person again is to remember those bygone memories that has been tattoed in your soul.

It is never that easy to let go of someone who has been there from the very beginning of your journey. But then, when it is time for them to move away, the hardest part is when you continue your journey all alone and begin to live without them.

So I let the pain sink in to my soul and let my tears wash away those lingering nostalgia. But I know it won't be long again, I will feel again that poignant desire to go back and once more relive those moments long been gone.

It was so yesterday...

There's something I've got to say... Thank you for the memories that add atune in my life.